I’m happy to announce that my book “Freedom Year: How Trying to be a Dominatrix (and Failing) Changed my Life” is now available for sale and preorder on Amazon!

It’s taken me 8 years, maybe more, to write my book. I’m so excited. It’s really happening! The ebook version will be available on my birthday August 8th, when I will turn 33. You can preorder it here. Or if you’d like to have a physical copy, you can order that here.

The relief I have felt this week has been extraordinary. I have been working on this project for so long: 8 years. At times it sat by untouched like a fallow field, and I was giving it rest. At other times I was working on it hours every day for months in a row.

This is truly something I want to share with the people who will get it and enjoy it, but most of all it’s a present to myself. In order to do that, I’ve had to accept the flaws that come with being in a hurry to get this out!

I’ve really felt that if anything were to happen to me, I’d feel I’d completed the point of my existence if I could just get this book out.

It’s time to ship it out in the world and I think the timing could not be more perfect.

Go here to order if you’d like to read the book and pick what format you like best.

-Or-

Go here to start reading the first 3 chapters for free.

P.S. Thanks for being on the journey with me.

I know many people are proponents of the kind of book you can write in a weekend, but this was never going to be that way. This book has required so much soul searching, so much facing my fears and judgements, so much pain and trauma healing!

And in the end, I’m truly satisfied with the book even if you can always edit just a little bit more.

I want to share this story with the people who will get it and enjoy it, but most of all it’s a present to myself.

To me, as I turn 33 on August 8, “Thanks for being here.”

It’s time to ship it out in the world and I think the timing could not be more perfect.

If you’d like to know when the book is available or get a free sample of the first 3 chapters delivered to your inbox for free, go here.

I’ve grown so much as a writer in the course of those eight years, and as a person. The book changed me, and I changed the book.

Stay tuned for more or go here to get first access–an email will be sent to you when you can order and you’ll be able to start reading today with a free sample.

​*The past few months I’ve been listening to Sarah Jarosz (left) and her newly released songs from ​World on the Ground over and over. In the last year I’ve been writing more songs that tell a story like “Tides”, rather than just being about inner feelings, myself.

I really enjoyed this article by Sarah Jarosz on writing her latest album and her point of view on this sort of song-writing. She feels like a soul sister, like me, she dropped everything during COVID-19 and spent the months with her boyfriend–she turned a terrible situation into an opportunity to be with the person she loves and rarely gets to see with touring.

*Listen to songs from her new album and live performances for free on youtube. One of her most addicting songs is “Johnny“.

*My new original song “Tides” is now available on Patreon. Get the recording as well as five other songs I’ve recorded, plus other bonuses for only $1.

Good books:

*I’ve loved “Nine Perfect Strangers” by Liane Moriarty. My review: “AWESOME read. A highly entertaining page-turner that is a little bit of everything: exciting, interesting, deep, light-hearted, fun, mysterious… and it has a positive ending. It wasn’t too light, and it wasn’t too heavy. Of course, it helps that one of the characters is a writer, which I can relate to! It kept me entertained on an eleven-hour flight when my eyeballs were about to drop out of my head, and that says something.​​” See it on goodreads.

*Also enjoyed “Pretty Things” by Janelle Brown. My review: “Absolutely compelling and well written book. I highly recommend. It was such an easy read, and I found it difficult to put it down. Not a “deep book” really, but not just fluff either. It hooked me good and did not disappoint​.” See it on goodreads.

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​This post is an update from my journey to Japan written July 7th.

I’ve just touched down last night. The flight from Japan was long but not as bad as I’d expected. Everyone respected the rules of social distancing and mask wearing.

To return is surreal. Did I leave? Outside my parents house so much has changed but they set it up for me to quarantine alone here and much inside has stayed the same.

At the same time, I have changed. And I’m glad that I have, but I have to integrate. Everything I see and feel makes me question where I have landed compared to where I was. A part of me judges that it’s not enough although of course it is. And my mind wonders about the future, which is impossible to fully plan and commit to at the moment so I have to be okay with not knowing when I’ll see my boyfriend again. Of course I already miss him even though we talk all the time at a distance.

I forgot about my possessions, the clothes and art and things here waiting for me. I came into a space of detachment around most of my things while in Japan. I either didn’t have it, or had to risk using it to death and being replaced. I think the detachment is good although I’d still like to enjoy everything.

In a way, I don’t want to get used to things here because it’s putting the time I had in Japan firmly into the past, especially since I’d like to return to see my boyfriend. But of course change is the only constant in life and I’ve survived a lot of things this year that challenged me in so many ways. I know everything will be ok.

oddly it feels daring to say that these days but I’ve already survived my mother dying so seriously I know that even in the worst case, life goes on.

The biggest lesson I learned in Japan this year was to let go of control, acknowledge it is an illusion and I don’t have it. I’ve always been a planner and pusher of myself, and it just doesn’t work out. There are ways that work for ME and ways that don’t even if they work for someone else. There is another way for me to do things. I listen to myself, I follow my soul.

I hope that as I am in closer contact and communication with my world in the USA rather than being in a bubble abroad, that I continue to hear my own self clearly.

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To my beautiful man in Japan. You teach me it is okay to miss someone. When COVID gets in the way, when borders and boundaries are closed, when we can’t touch, can’t speak face to face, can’t share a meal or a room, I know there’s nothing wrong with wanting to and with missing you, just like with others in my life.

…

We live in a time of enforced separation. Some of it is enforced by law and regulation from the outside, some of it is our choice to keep people (and ourselves) safe. Its a matter of life and death. I don’t have a choice about not seeing my boyfriend in Japan now that my Visa has ended, but with family and friends I try to be safe which means we don’t act as we once did.

Like many others I am feeling it. I find strength in sharing how I feel rather than tucking the feelings inside silently. Nine times out of ten, others can relate. I know I am not alone.

Years ago, I dated one or two guys who were “above” missing. I said, “I miss you,” they said, “It must be because I do so much study and Zen meditation, but like I don’t overly attach to anything or anyone.” Of course I felt needy after that, reluctant to say it again.

Some people think not having feelings is the ideal, they think the more evolved thing to do is to turn your feelings off.

But I know different. I think shutting off our feelings is what is wrong with the world. My life has been a journey of missing, from the day I last saw my mom when I was very young. I know what it is like to long for someone who is not here. I know that not being able to see friends and family exactly like before is an emotional blow that deserves to be honored, not discounted as useless material to suppress. We are human, this is how we were made: to miss what we value. In some ways that’s how we know how important it is.

It sucks. You’re not wrong for missing and neither am I. I wish I could offer you an easy solution but the truth is feeling your emotions IS complicated and it takes time. Don’t skip it.

If you enjoy my writing stay tuned for information about my book Freedom Year coming out in just a few weeks! Xo

This post is from my travels in Japan in June!

Sometimes when the moment is right, I decide things. I won’t know how, but I will decide something will be created, sometimes by a certain day. And when it magically happens, I smile.

It’s happened many times already.

Recently I saw this cute Pikachu in a second-hand shop with a witch hat on it. It cost about $5. It’s perfect for me. It is too big to put in a suitcase and I am supposed to return to America in July, but my boyfriend Andrew said I could keep it at his house until I return.

I’ve decided I will return and I don’t know how or when. But I will. So I bought the Pikachu. And I’m keeping the boy. We are going to figure it all out.

That’s what being creative is. Decide what you want to create. Make the decision. And then when it’s time, you’ll figure it out. You can’t always see the “how” right now, but keep your eyes ready, and it just might show up.

Always know what to do next to make faster progress and be more creative so you can do meaningful things with your time. Get updates every month by email by signing up here.

As far as I am concerned, the pursuit of inspiration is my religion. It is a religion, the rule is: LIVE. Just do it!

You don’t always know where you will find it but follow it, even if it’s weird or unusual. There is something to be discovered under every odd rock you turn. ^^

I’m happy to be inspired, even if I’m away from my loverboy in Japan. I have my projects. I have my people in America. I have my purpose.

I wanted to share things about politics in honor of those who have been affected by police brutality… But then I remembered that discussing politics online so does not inspire me. I studied it, I got the major, and ditched it shortly after. I get involved– when I feel called to take action, I absolutely do it. But talking about it on social media in a way that is designed for other people to take action is not my thing. So I can’t promise to post much about it. I kept trying and came up empty. I have to revise what I set out to do.

I have to return to my thing. My thing is helping other people to find out what inspires them, and then know exactly what to do next to make it real. This is what I do in my own life.

I know what it is like to worry about the state of the world and wonder what to do, when my own life needs figuring out.

We can all do a lot of things, the right thing for all of us is different. I believe doing what you are *meant* to do next, achieving your individual purpose is one way we can all make a difference.

I know what my purpose is; I just at times have to release guilt around how good it feels when I let it be easy, stop trying to make myself into another person. I’m not Political Leader Sofia, or at least not like that, that’s somebody else. I have to make change in a way that I’m suited for.

We all make a mark our own way. Get inspired, and make change in the world, the way you are uniquely designed to do it.

I plan to talk more about THIS DISCOVERY of what to do next as my service, instead of politics, because I believe in life. Living to your fullest potential can be positive for others. When we all can, that is how we all thrive. I’ll do my piece in the world and you do yours and we will be alright.

And if you love the picture above, I got it off pinterest, here.

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Always know what to do next to do something that matters! Get tips on making faster progress and being more creative with a free email update each month by clicking here.

I’m back from Japan! I’m still getting used to the time change and being in this strange place. It’s strange, to be back, because the America I know isn’t really “back.” I can’t give my family hugs… Things aren’t quite as I’ve left it.

My memoir, Freedom Year: How Trying to be a Dominatrix (and Failing) Changed my Life is almost to the end. I plan to release it on August 8th, my 33rd birthday. You’ll get an email when it is available for you to read!

Dark Legacies, book one of the Blood Witch Series, will be the next book out. I imagine it will be released by the end of the year as well–so then I’ll have two books out this year. Getting this urban fantasy series started is so exciting it makes my heart fill with butterflies, and, as I wrote last month, I do believe butterflies are a very good sign.

I’m still writing up the details of the program I’ve tentatively been calling, “Make Your Mark.” If you ever feel heart-hurt looking at what is going on in the world and feel like you can do nothing to help, you might be interested in the class. It will help you to always know what to next to do something that matters with your unique gifts and talents, including your creativity. You don’t have to try to change the world the way other people are doing it, there is a way for you to make a difference just being yourself as a writer, healer, creator, or other unique thing. Keep an eye out as I roll out more about the program.

Hope you are doing well. Feel free to contact me and let me know what you are up to these days! What’s on your mind? I love to get to know my readers.

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Thanks for being with me on the journey!

Here’s this month’s Tarot interpretation, from my upcoming book on the Tarot.

This message covers where we are at this month as we move into August, and possibly also the next few months! My readings tend to build on each other so you may also want to refer to the message from last month 2 of Wands.

First, take a moment to pause and breathe. Are you open to insight? Set your intention to feel how you want to feel in your life overall (you can be specific) and then decide (if you like) to be open to any positive shifts that may occur as you read the writing below.

Ask what you WANT to create, not what CAN you create.

Trust that you hold the power inside. You feel a shift. Although there may be challenges, you are aware more than ever before of how powerful you truly are. Follow your PASSION and what you WANT. Feel it and pursue it.

Understanding your self talk and what you express in the world around you will help you to see how you use that power to shape your world. Work on experiencing high self-worth, forgiveness, hope and self love to manifest things more quickly.

Maintain faith, hope and positivity. Create personal rituals to express your intentions and to achieve mastery over your goals. All will be well. You have the ability to create your heart’s desire.

Know the truth of who you are is someone extremely powerful.

Every thought, every feeling within you is manifesting your reality.

It is not just about thinking positively. It is also about getting support to learn how to move through difficult periods, to work with what is presented to you.

Be in a state of cooperation and teamwork with others to get what you need to support you in your creation, this is a good time to ask for help and support.

Always know what to do next in your writing or creating and make faster progress towards the goals that matter with a free Tarot reading every month. Click here to sign up.