​*The past few months I’ve been listening to Sarah Jarosz (left) and her newly released songs from ​World on the Ground over and over. In the last year I’ve been writing more songs that tell a story like “Tides”, rather than just being about inner feelings, myself.

I really enjoyed this article by Sarah Jarosz on writing her latest album and her point of view on this sort of song-writing. She feels like a soul sister, like me, she dropped everything during COVID-19 and spent the months with her boyfriend–she turned a terrible situation into an opportunity to be with the person she loves and rarely gets to see with touring.

*Listen to songs from her new album and live performances for free on youtube. One of her most addicting songs is “Johnny“.

*My new original song “Tides” is now available on Patreon. Get the recording as well as five other songs I’ve recorded, plus other bonuses for only $1.

Good books:

*I’ve loved “Nine Perfect Strangers” by Liane Moriarty. My review: “AWESOME read. A highly entertaining page-turner that is a little bit of everything: exciting, interesting, deep, light-hearted, fun, mysterious… and it has a positive ending. It wasn’t too light, and it wasn’t too heavy. Of course, it helps that one of the characters is a writer, which I can relate to! It kept me entertained on an eleven-hour flight when my eyeballs were about to drop out of my head, and that says something.​​” See it on goodreads.

*Also enjoyed “Pretty Things” by Janelle Brown. My review: “Absolutely compelling and well written book. I highly recommend. It was such an easy read, and I found it difficult to put it down. Not a “deep book” really, but not just fluff either. It hooked me good and did not disappoint​.” See it on goodreads.

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​This post is an update from my journey to Japan written July 7th.

I’ve just touched down last night. The flight from Japan was long but not as bad as I’d expected. Everyone respected the rules of social distancing and mask wearing.

To return is surreal. Did I leave? Outside my parents house so much has changed but they set it up for me to quarantine alone here and much inside has stayed the same.

At the same time, I have changed. And I’m glad that I have, but I have to integrate. Everything I see and feel makes me question where I have landed compared to where I was. A part of me judges that it’s not enough although of course it is. And my mind wonders about the future, which is impossible to fully plan and commit to at the moment so I have to be okay with not knowing when I’ll see my boyfriend again. Of course I already miss him even though we talk all the time at a distance.

I forgot about my possessions, the clothes and art and things here waiting for me. I came into a space of detachment around most of my things while in Japan. I either didn’t have it, or had to risk using it to death and being replaced. I think the detachment is good although I’d still like to enjoy everything.

In a way, I don’t want to get used to things here because it’s putting the time I had in Japan firmly into the past, especially since I’d like to return to see my boyfriend. But of course change is the only constant in life and I’ve survived a lot of things this year that challenged me in so many ways. I know everything will be ok.

oddly it feels daring to say that these days but I’ve already survived my mother dying so seriously I know that even in the worst case, life goes on.

The biggest lesson I learned in Japan this year was to let go of control, acknowledge it is an illusion and I don’t have it. I’ve always been a planner and pusher of myself, and it just doesn’t work out. There are ways that work for ME and ways that don’t even if they work for someone else. There is another way for me to do things. I listen to myself, I follow my soul.

I hope that as I am in closer contact and communication with my world in the USA rather than being in a bubble abroad, that I continue to hear my own self clearly.

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To my beautiful man in Japan. You teach me it is okay to miss someone. When COVID gets in the way, when borders and boundaries are closed, when we can’t touch, can’t speak face to face, can’t share a meal or a room, I know there’s nothing wrong with wanting to and with missing you, just like with others in my life.

…

We live in a time of enforced separation. Some of it is enforced by law and regulation from the outside, some of it is our choice to keep people (and ourselves) safe. Its a matter of life and death. I don’t have a choice about not seeing my boyfriend in Japan now that my Visa has ended, but with family and friends I try to be safe which means we don’t act as we once did.

Like many others I am feeling it. I find strength in sharing how I feel rather than tucking the feelings inside silently. Nine times out of ten, others can relate. I know I am not alone.

Years ago, I dated one or two guys who were “above” missing. I said, “I miss you,” they said, “It must be because I do so much study and Zen meditation, but like I don’t overly attach to anything or anyone.” Of course I felt needy after that, reluctant to say it again.

Some people think not having feelings is the ideal, they think the more evolved thing to do is to turn your feelings off.

But I know different. I think shutting off our feelings is what is wrong with the world. My life has been a journey of missing, from the day I last saw my mom when I was very young. I know what it is like to long for someone who is not here. I know that not being able to see friends and family exactly like before is an emotional blow that deserves to be honored, not discounted as useless material to suppress. We are human, this is how we were made: to miss what we value. In some ways that’s how we know how important it is.

It sucks. You’re not wrong for missing and neither am I. I wish I could offer you an easy solution but the truth is feeling your emotions IS complicated and it takes time. Don’t skip it.

If you enjoy my writing stay tuned for information about my book Freedom Year coming out in just a few weeks! Xo

This post is from my travels in Japan in June!

Sometimes when the moment is right, I decide things. I won’t know how, but I will decide something will be created, sometimes by a certain day. And when it magically happens, I smile.

It’s happened many times already.

Recently I saw this cute Pikachu in a second-hand shop with a witch hat on it. It cost about $5. It’s perfect for me. It is too big to put in a suitcase and I am supposed to return to America in July, but my boyfriend Andrew said I could keep it at his house until I return.

I’ve decided I will return and I don’t know how or when. But I will. So I bought the Pikachu. And I’m keeping the boy. We are going to figure it all out.

That’s what being creative is. Decide what you want to create. Make the decision. And then when it’s time, you’ll figure it out. You can’t always see the “how” right now, but keep your eyes ready, and it just might show up.

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As far as I am concerned, the pursuit of inspiration is my religion. It is a religion, the rule is: LIVE. Just do it!

You don’t always know where you will find it but follow it, even if it’s weird or unusual. There is something to be discovered under every odd rock you turn. ^^

I’m happy to be inspired, even if I’m away from my loverboy in Japan. I have my projects. I have my people in America. I have my purpose.

I wanted to share things about politics in honor of those who have been affected by police brutality… But then I remembered that discussing politics online so does not inspire me. I studied it, I got the major, and ditched it shortly after. I get involved– when I feel called to take action, I absolutely do it. But talking about it on social media in a way that is designed for other people to take action is not my thing. So I can’t promise to post much about it. I kept trying and came up empty. I have to revise what I set out to do.

I have to return to my thing. My thing is helping other people to find out what inspires them, and then know exactly what to do next to make it real. This is what I do in my own life.

I know what it is like to worry about the state of the world and wonder what to do, when my own life needs figuring out.

We can all do a lot of things, the right thing for all of us is different. I believe doing what you are *meant* to do next, achieving your individual purpose is one way we can all make a difference.

I know what my purpose is; I just at times have to release guilt around how good it feels when I let it be easy, stop trying to make myself into another person. I’m not Political Leader Sofia, or at least not like that, that’s somebody else. I have to make change in a way that I’m suited for.

We all make a mark our own way. Get inspired, and make change in the world, the way you are uniquely designed to do it.

I plan to talk more about THIS DISCOVERY of what to do next as my service, instead of politics, because I believe in life. Living to your fullest potential can be positive for others. When we all can, that is how we all thrive. I’ll do my piece in the world and you do yours and we will be alright.

And if you love the picture above, I got it off pinterest, here.

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Always know what to do next to do something that matters! Get tips on making faster progress and being more creative with a free email update each month by clicking here.

I’m back from Japan! I’m still getting used to the time change and being in this strange place. It’s strange, to be back, because the America I know isn’t really “back.” I can’t give my family hugs… Things aren’t quite as I’ve left it.

My memoir, Freedom Year: How Trying to be a Dominatrix (and Failing) Changed my Life is almost to the end. I plan to release it on August 8th, my 33rd birthday. You’ll get an email when it is available for you to read!

Dark Legacies, book one of the Blood Witch Series, will be the next book out. I imagine it will be released by the end of the year as well–so then I’ll have two books out this year. Getting this urban fantasy series started is so exciting it makes my heart fill with butterflies, and, as I wrote last month, I do believe butterflies are a very good sign.

I’m still writing up the details of the program I’ve tentatively been calling, “Make Your Mark.” If you ever feel heart-hurt looking at what is going on in the world and feel like you can do nothing to help, you might be interested in the class. It will help you to always know what to next to do something that matters with your unique gifts and talents, including your creativity. You don’t have to try to change the world the way other people are doing it, there is a way for you to make a difference just being yourself as a writer, healer, creator, or other unique thing. Keep an eye out as I roll out more about the program.

Hope you are doing well. Feel free to contact me and let me know what you are up to these days! What’s on your mind? I love to get to know my readers.

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Thanks for being with me on the journey!

Here’s this month’s Tarot interpretation, from my upcoming book on the Tarot.

This message covers where we are at this month as we move into August, and possibly also the next few months! My readings tend to build on each other so you may also want to refer to the message from last month 2 of Wands.

First, take a moment to pause and breathe. Are you open to insight? Set your intention to feel how you want to feel in your life overall (you can be specific) and then decide (if you like) to be open to any positive shifts that may occur as you read the writing below.

Ask what you WANT to create, not what CAN you create.

Trust that you hold the power inside. You feel a shift. Although there may be challenges, you are aware more than ever before of how powerful you truly are. Follow your PASSION and what you WANT. Feel it and pursue it.

Understanding your self talk and what you express in the world around you will help you to see how you use that power to shape your world. Work on experiencing high self-worth, forgiveness, hope and self love to manifest things more quickly.

Maintain faith, hope and positivity. Create personal rituals to express your intentions and to achieve mastery over your goals. All will be well. You have the ability to create your heart’s desire.

Know the truth of who you are is someone extremely powerful.

Every thought, every feeling within you is manifesting your reality.

It is not just about thinking positively. It is also about getting support to learn how to move through difficult periods, to work with what is presented to you.

Be in a state of cooperation and teamwork with others to get what you need to support you in your creation, this is a good time to ask for help and support.

Always know what to do next in your writing or creating and make faster progress towards the goals that matter with a free Tarot reading every month. Click here to sign up.

If it makes you nervous because it seems so big, that’s a sign. Follow the butterflies. They show you where you need to go to make your mark on the world!!

If you are overwhelmed make your goal smaller. Aim for a short time period of trying, or approach the first step as practice. Come on, you can do it!!

I’ve done this every day as I write a new Urban Fantasy novel, Dark Legacies, Book 1 of the Blood Witch Series. It’s nearing completion and now I have the big important scenes. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t had butterflies writing this. But I know the principle of butterflies showing us our dreams!

Not to be confused with straight-up fear of danger. Sometimes our nerves are an alarm system, but when it comes to creating… Writing… Doing your purpose…I think the real danger is getting to the end of your life and having regrets about what you never tried to do.

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This is for you if you are an entrepreneur with a launch schedule, a writer with a book coming out, and so on. This is for you if you have to be seen.

There’s a lot going on in the world. An entrepreneur today told me that it’s hard to know what to post or not post. Is it still okay to be promoting her course? She knows it is, heck her family needs her to make that money and she has people to help and talents to share. But still there is a voice in her head asking, is she being sensitive enough? It makes her question herself every step of the way.

My first thought for her was that this is what she is meant to do. We are all here to do something, to make a mark in our own special way. Some people are giving bottles to protestors, some people are on the streets, some people are trying to be good policeman, and some of us are at home making stuff and wanting to share it. What’s your gift? How are you here to make your mark? It depends on who you are. This was her thing, and I knew it was important.

When I said this to her she said it felt right. She also remembered all the things she was doing to try and be a good ally: support she was giving others and introspective work inside to be more aware of her own biases. She’s been posting support, too, and I encouraged her to share the process that is helping her work on herself so others can benefit as well, which happens to be something she is teaching for the course she’s launching. Her course will totally help people be better on so many levels.

Some of us need to be seen right now. If that’s you, then that’s what you got to do. But if that doesn’t feel like you, that’s okay as well. We do not have to all do the same thing. Figure out what you need for your own balance (so you can sustain any efforts you are making) and what role you can play right now to be supportive to the current situation: the Black Lives Matter movement, COVID-19 prevention, the people you are here to serve in your unique capacity.

Connect to your soul. Pray for safety, so you can feel safe to be seen if that’s what you need to do. What does your heart call you to do today? It is okay if you don’t have the big picture yet, do what you can right now.

Look for more on “Make Your Mark” a program dedicated to helping you go from overwhelmed and defeated by the state of the world to empowered, clear on how to make your individual contribution to make your mark in the world.