Hey! I liked Twilight. LOL

Happy fall!

🍁 I’m in the “it is September so it is fall” crew, even if we haven’t hit the equinox, yet.

Today is rainy and cool enough for 3/4 sleeves so I’m definitely feeling the fall vibes. 🍁

Hope you are enjoying the changes in the season.

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Above is the meme that I can’t stop thinking about.

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What were your obsessions from age 11-12?

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At 11-12 my best friends were probably my biggest obsession,

followed by getting good grades and not being gossiped about,

pokemon, fantasy YA novels, spiritual nonfiction, and those reptiles stuffed with sand.

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Two of my best friends moved away when I was 8, which was so sad.

When I got new friends I really vibed with between 11-12,

I latched on HARD. We are still friends to this day.

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This meme sparks a new question for me:

Is best friend energy just an indelible part of me forever?

Maybe!

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It’s funny because lately I have been thinking a lot about BEST FRIEND ENERGY,

and how maybe the purpose of writing is really to be a best friend to yourself.​

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I wrote the post linked above in August.

It came out in a rush, spur of the moment

but I got a lot of good feedback that writing to be your best friend was

“WOW! Jaw dropping, never thought of that before” material.

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Do you ever have ideas and ask yourself:

Was that idea a one-off, spur of the moment thing I’ll quickly leave behind

or is it part of a deeper theme for me?

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I’ve been wondering.

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Also, it’s been my goal this year to have a better relationship with myself,

since it is the foundation of everything else.

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Now that it is the 9th month of the year,

I can definitely say that I’ve come a long way.

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Writing has been one of the most powerful tools on this journey,

and using it to have a better relationship with myself is NOTHING new for me.

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Although I have been more or less conscious of it at different times,

writing has been in my toolkit for over two decades.

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But this year focusing intently on that relationship as more important than ANY other goal was very different.

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I did another new thing as well:

I reflected on what my gifts were, and being a good friend was very clear to me.

And I started to think—what if I built on my gifts?

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What if I brought my gift for being a friend into my relationship with myself?

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At first it sounded just crazy.

Then it sounded too obvious (and I thought how stupid am I to not think of this earlier…)

But then I was like, “Ok, fine. We will try it.”

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It’s been months along this ever-evolving journey of self-best-friend-manship,

but all of this is just to say that me sharing the post on the topic wasn’t REALLY just a spur of the moment idea.

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It was the culmination of many hours and years and decades,

writing, seeking, editing, publishing,

trying different healing modalities to heal from childhood abuse and all the other horrors of life,

learning and getting certified in a million modalities, and a masters in spiritual care of others,

as well as ten years of coaching and mentoring others.

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All for the purpose of being a part of something more beautiful and less confined or frozen than my past:

Something rich, abundant, nourished and nourishing,

that could end up resulting in a harvest.

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The post was just a small part of the harvest.

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Because the real harvest isn’t

• the writing that really resonates with people (that is wonderful but a bonus), or
• the things I do for my business (woohoo! I love making money in exchange for helping people but that’s a bonus)

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The real harvest is every little moment when I think–

Wow look at how I feel, and how I feel about myself right now.

I am not sure I have ever related to myself the way I am relating to myself now.

And it feels really awesome.

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It is not every second.

But there are more and more seconds.

And they tell me that I have definitely come a long way.

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What is the ultimate point of writing?

What if it is to be a better best friend to yourself?

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When you have more “best friend energy” around your writing,

and not so much criticism or anxiety…

you will FEEL the love from yourself on a much deeper level.

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That’s also the best way to connect to people with your book or business.

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I’m about to close my availability for all new clients until November 1st 2023!

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But I have one spot open for “Deep Coaching” at 34% off starting immediately,

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1:1 writing support for 6 months

no phone calls required,

extra good vibes included.

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If you want to give yourself more best friend vibes, write and FEEL the LOVE:

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First read more about the offering here, and then

shoot me an email so we can schedule a conversation to talk about if we are a good fit.

Please email by Monday September 11th 2023.

—

​
​“To anyone thinking of hiring Sofia: Trust your gut feeling when you read, see, and hear Sofia’s work. You won’t be disappointed, she has a lot of heart in her work.​
​
After working with you I have been able to write a little more fluently and frequently. I have also been able to speak up as soon as I feel I need to!”

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~Jenn, Florida

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​
“You’re in for a real treat by signing up to work with Sofia. I started working with her towards the end of 2014 when I was writing up my PhD and she helped me through some very dark times.

Because not only was I writing up my PhD but I had moved back home with my parents and was also writing a children’s fantasy book. Sofia has literally bought me back from the brink many times.

In particular I will never forget having a session with her after having just handing in my PhD. Sofia was so grounding, nurturing and compassionate at that time, just what I needed.”

~Dr Saloni Surah, MBBCh, BSc, DFSRH, MRCP, Dip GUM, reiki master

How you been?

In the past week, I have been a bit ill.

It started as headaches that went away for a few days, but then no, apparently they are back and I have a cold.

We are also wrapping up week 2 of the ​free Heartfelt Writing Challenge. ​

Even if you are not in the challenge, I think you’ll enjoy this writing pep talk I shared with all of the participants!

Enjoy.

Today’s PEP talk:

I’ve been writing and publishing online for over 20 years.

What I’ve learned from my process and from helping countless other writers with theirs….

is that it’s easy to be unsatisfied and harder to feel satisfied.

You have to be really clear on your priorities about what really matters to you,

otherwise, you can always pick apart a piece of writing and find fault with it.

You can also always pick apart yourself for not doing well enough.

To me the ultimate point of writing is to be your own best friend.

I know it sounds trite or whatever but what does a best friend do?

– Listen to you talk.

– Notice the patterns and emotions under your words.

– Point out things you didn’t include.

– Offer helpful suggestions based on what you shared.

You can have your time to talk about yourself, write about yourself and then look back as the listener.

– How am I really?

– What is really going on here?

– Now that I have vented what is my next step?

– How much is this something I will care about later on? Is any of this writing a keeper or is this complete?

Btw–

Whether you write by hand, on a computer, transcribe your audio or watch a video of yourself talking,

I count that all as writing ✍️

it just has to be encoded and recorded so you can revisit it objectively from another angle.

Please revisit your writing as a unicorn 🦄 best friend

(not a fake friend).

For more writing peptalks and resources, sign up for my free weekly newsletter here.

The FREE Heartfelt Writing Challenge starts today!

• Create a daily writing habit
• Unlock inspiration to write for your book or business
• Feel the LOVE of the friends, followers or clients you attract

You’ll get daily nonfiction writing prompts and access to a community of other writers.

Plus even more free resources to build a daily writing habit.

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Come join us, it’s free.

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We start today!

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Remember: you do NOT have to do this perfectly.

It isn’t English class and you will not be graded!

Let’s have some fun writing together and sharing from the heart xo

​​
Click here to register for free!​

​

​Let August be August

Guess what, it’s my bday month!

I hope you are doing something fun as this month, as well.

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Lately I’ve been juggling a lot:

doing interviews, teaching about writing, helping the nonprofit Her Future Foundation and trying to enjoy the warm weather. Still working on my vlog. Prepping a digital organization class.

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And despite my reluctant feelings about joining a new social media platform,

I am addicted to Threads. My username is sofia.wren .

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There’s a lot of friendly writers on there, so I’ve been checking it maybe a little too often.

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Recently on the Threads app, people began posting their “August Goals.”

Initially, I was shocked and appalled.

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This is August and you are posting a list of goals???!

What is wrong with you guys?

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GO DO AUGUST RIGHT.

BY BEING LAZY.

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Since it’s my birthday month and summer,

I typically don’t expect a ton to get done in August.

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So my initial thought was, “No way am I participating in this trend.”

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But the feeling didn’t last.

After seeing post after post from different authors,

I wanted to join in on the fun, too.

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When you are in a community of people excited about something, it is easy to catch that excitement.

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So I caved, here is a list of goals:

-Host a free 21 day Heart-Felt Writing Challenge starting August 9th

-Turn 36 and party!

-Go to a break room and smash things. Record it.

-Edit footage for my vlog

-Help Her Future Foundation with a grant proposal

-Work on transferring a family business into my name

-Go to the pool and enjoy summer.

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Things can feel like a drag initially, but as soon as you add connection to the mix, it can be fun!

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That’s why I wanted to host a Writing Challenge on August 9th.

It is the day after my birthday and I decided this on purpose.

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I intend for it to be a fun way for me to play and connect with other people like you.

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Personally writing from the heart helps you feel more love, and compassion.

Inner-listening and reflection helps you be happier and more present in your daily life.

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Professionally you get the material for better quality writing and get OFF a content creation hamster wheel,

so you can promote yourself with enduring topics and meaningful themes.

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There are so many benefits to heart-felt writing both personally and professionally.

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I go into this in detail in this interview below! One of my best.

Enjoy

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Loved this interview with Natalie Neckyfarow!

What is writing from the heart? Why should you care?

Learn about the personal and career benefits of writing in a heartfelt way and how to get started for free.

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I explain it all in this conversation with Natalie.

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​Natalie Neckyfarow is an Actress, Writer, and Embodiment Coach who helps creative women experience more balance, productivity and creativity in their day-to-day lives.

Her Joyful Action Coaching Method focuses on deepening the connection to our bodies, releasing stuck emotions and stress, shifting belief systems, and taking aligned action to achieve our biggest and wildest dreams.

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​www.cultivatingempathycoaching.com​
​

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​Watch & learn about writing from the heart​

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Join us for the free 21 Day Heartfelt Writing Challenge :
​
​
💜 Create a daily writing habit
💜 Unlock inspiration to write for your book or business
💜 Know what to do next because you can hear yourself clearly
​
Make more progress by writing everyday in the FREE 21 day Heartfelt Writing Challenge.
​
We start August 9th 2023
​​
Click here to register and get the future updates!​

​

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​

SPICE UP YOUR WRITING

with the Summer Special

Live zoom or phone writing support at a discount

For help writing or editing:

• blogs,
• emails,
• website bios,
• heartfelt stories,
• business content, &
• nonfiction books.

Sessions must be purchased by August 15th and used by August 31st

​Check out the discount​

​

As a business owner or creator do you feel like this is just one more place you have to produce content? Another source of distraction?

Mm yeah kind of feeling weird about it myself.

I made this spontaneous video with EFT Tapping video to help cut through the noise, chaos and FOMO and to help you navigate in whatever way is best for you.

I will admit, I have come to enjoy using threads–but for me any new social media activity is a really slippery slope as I tend towards addiction.

(My username is Sofia.wren there.)

But if I can use it a little tiny bit and use it for connection or to talk about things I love, like writing, then I guess it’s ok.

Watch here to join me in the battle to find a balance with the ever growing array of social media platforms!

Show and tell time

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One of my summer projects is a personal vlog (video blog).

I made my first vlog a year ago on Life After Loss and have been playing with what will be in episode 2 ever since.

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I never thought it would take me this long to make my second vlog, after the first one went so well.

Lots of positive comments. And it was healing for me.

But that’s just been the way it has been. Some stories take time to tell

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Here’s a behind the scenes of what that process looks like.

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The first stage of my process this time has been:

• Taking videos of beautiful places when I see them to include as footage.
• Writing the story I might tell in the video. I will use this to eventually record the voice over.
• Rewriting that story until it feels done or important to say in a lasting way.

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I’ve been doing this ever since my first vlog came out.

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Things are feeling a little bit more solid now, in terms of what story I want to put in the VLOG, so I’m in a new stage now.

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Second stage:

Then I started picking out some music that I think will go well with the mood.

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Third Stage

This time, I also have been writing a list of additional scenes that I want to film.

These scenes illustrate certain things I want to say.

I even arranged some of these ideas into a “Plot line” which is a visual representation of the emotional arch of the story.

I’m still working on the content, but here is a peak…

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Here’s a clip of some writing that may make it into the vlog (we will see):

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“My artform is my being me, which means I express sadness or pain sometimes. This is not a sign that I need advice, fixing or that I am not ok. This is me expressing a good feeling: a feeling that it is safe. I no longer have to contort or fix myself.

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My emotions do not need to be perfect. I accept it all. I am safe expressing sadness or pain and I inspire others when I am open, because whatever I feel others are feeling it, too.

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I share from self-love, conviction that I care, that I hear myself. I can let it go with my words because holding on or pretending like none of it existed, long story short, IS NOT FOR ME.

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My words describe me but also the past me, too, because it turns me into someone new whenever I express.”

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Stay tuned as I keep working on my second vlog.

It is not ready yet.

I will keep you posted how the rest of the process goes!

Make sure to get my email updates if you want to hear more

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I can’t believe it took me so long to realize this

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It has taken me years to really understand that rushing is not the way forward.

Overcoming instant gratification to tell better stories has been a game changer.

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I have written and published 28 articles in 2023 alone, so this may surprise you,

but believe it or not,

this commitment to taking my time to tell my stories is still something I live by!

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Enjoy the article here.

Today I woke up way too early.

4:00 am. Ish.

Laid in bed trying to go back to sleep.

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Got up at 5:54 and started trying to fix my website.

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Is that crazy? Sounds psycho when I type it out…

Oh well, it’s the truth.

The Website Bio Refresh Party I hosted last Friday was great but

most people (including me) had tech difficulties and couldn’t edit their site at all!

Gah!

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We got a lot of brainstorming, writing, and prep work done,

so it wasn’t a waste of time at all,

but that definitely lit a fire under me to fix my website.

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Well, the good news is that this morning,

I figured HOW to fix my main website,

this site you are looking at right now.​

(It was an anti-spam plugin causing the trouble.)

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But here is the bad news,

before I even got a chance to finish my project,

i.e. edit the bio on my website sofiawren.com

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​HOUSTON, we have a problem.

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I realized that my other, older site that I created in 2012

for my massage therapy business

was broken and wouldn’t even load.

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I sighed deeply. I told myself it was okay.

I’m not a massage therapist anymore anyway for reasons.

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But I did a quick fix.

A redirect.

Now anyone who visits over there will just get redirected automatically to HERE.

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But the completionist in me is still grumbling that it’s not enough.

I still really want that busted site to get fixed for real at some point.

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UGH!

So I fixed a problem…and then discovered I had another.

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YOU KNOW THAT’S LIFE I GUESS.

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I guess the site that actually matters to me right now works….so it’s a win.

Trying to muster up some enthusiasm about that

but it’s not coming. Maybe I’m too tired.

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It just feels WEIRD and unsatisfying.

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Anyway I am sharing because I maintain that

being dissatisfied with your website is a part of the human condition.

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(Unless you don’t have a website and don’t want one…

If so, then you can put your feet up and relax!)

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After 20+ years of having my own sites and

10 years of talking to entrepreneurs and writers, I have found that

the people who are happy with their website/web presence are the exception, not the rule.

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Some people don’t have a site but DO want one, so they are dissatisfied with not having one.

Most people with a site could bend your ear with some groans about the state of it.

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There’s always another thing you could do with it.

There’s ALWAYS some weird hanging-chad type of feeling.

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Do you know what I am talking about?!

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And achieving perfection is either

complicated,

a hassle, or

not a priority

which is why it gathers dust.

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I get that, and that could be perfectly fine,

but every so often you just want your site to work and make you feel good.

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You just want to share it and have it be pretty and shiny.

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AND sometimes a totally busted site (like mine) comes

because you never really deal with the problem for a very long time…

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And maybe at that point, it’s a message to say,

“Girl, maybe it’s time to scrap that old site you’ve outgrown and just start fresh?”

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I dunno about you but that’s what’s running through my mind right now.

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Anyway, long story short:

If you’re feeling a lack of satisfaction around your website, I hear you!!!!

And if you don’t care about your site or having a site at all, that’s cool.

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But if you do care about starting a site or changing your site this summer,

so that the words and images really express you & attract clients

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or you want to start or spice up a different writing project right now…

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I’m happy to help!

​

Check out my NEW Summer Special below.

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And that’s all my tired brain has for you today

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MWAH xo

​

​

SPICE UP YOUR WRITING

with the Summer Special

​

​For help writing:

​

website bios, service descriptions, blogs, emails, nonfiction books, and more.

​

Live zoom or phone writing support starting at $69

​

People will love your writing! ​
​

​Details here 

Seeing a vision that others don’t see can be such a challenge.

If you ever feel that way, I hope you enjoy this article on the topic.

Your perspective is needed! But there are some things you need to know to lead others.

​Read here in the Writing as Transformational Leadership series.