Wow, how are you doing? I hope you are hanging in there okay.

​

This week I am sick!

And I’m bothered by the craziness of the world, it keeps coming to mind.

​

But I know I just need to focus on taking care of myself because anytime I start pondering global crises my head starts to hurt and I get a sinus headache.

​

Well, I have the perfect addition to my “greatest hits” series.

Below are words from an email I wrote in 2021,

it feels like a time that was quite a world away, but yet….so very similar in some ways.

​

And I just added a few notes at the end to wrap it all up.

​

Here it is.

—

​

​
Sending lots of love since, as you might have noticed, things in the news have been intense.

I want to say it’s been intense only just lately…but really it feels like it has been for years.

​

With all this, I’m going to put on my coaching hat and remind you that:

​

it’s important to find a balance between those things that make your heart hurt,

and the things that bring you comfort and stability.

​

Easier said than done, but I hope you find some opportunities to take care of yourself this week!
​
(Because you deserve it, we all do.)

​

One of the things that has brought me comfort lately is reflecting and sharing my values.

​

I’ve been meaning to send this email for some time, but because values are so important. I took a while because wanted this to BE perfect.

​

Given that my life seems like one constant move,

(this week I’m driving between Baltimore, Maryland and my soon-to-be home in Madison, Wisconsin)

perfect really isn’t anything I can manage right now.

​

So although this is a little imperfect now seems like as good of a time as any to share my values.

​

​

​

These are the values that guide me and my work as a writer, writing teacher & coach.

​

This world is crazy but I still choose to be here and serve because of all the lovely things that remain inside of it. <3

​

(If you are disheartened, don’t lose sight of what is good.)

​

​

#1. You have wisdom.

​

My greatest joy is to help you connect to yourself, and the genius inside of you.

That holds the key to inspiration for your writing for your book, business and more.

​

Writing and connecting more deeply to my own inner wisdom

helped me make tremendous positive changes in my life as an abuse survivor.

This goal of re-connection is central to everything I do including coaching, workshops, courses, and prompts,

all designed to help you have aha moments and clarity on what to do next.

​

​

#2. We all deserve respect.

​

Yup. I respect everybody and all my course members are expected to do the same.

​

My writing groups now include an initial agreement among all members where everyone agrees to demonstrate that respect in specific ways.

​

Safe space is important to me!

​

​

#3. We all have a place.

​

This world is vast and there are many ways to make a difference:

there is a need for all kinds of people, doing all kinds of things.

​

Everyone plays their part in a wider puzzle.

People make a difference in their own way and it’s all needed.

​

YOU DO YOU.

​

​

​

There are many PATHS OF SERVICE,

so you can pick your own…

​

Or maybe you don’t pick it, maybe it chooses you.

Sometimes it’s a calling or the only thing that feels right.

​

Sometimes taking a breath to rest and heal can be the most radical thing that you can do.

Not everyone will see this as a “service.”

You may feel judged for not doing more.

​

But I believe hurt people hurt people,

and healed people hurt people less.

​

Taking time to meet your needs and try to come into coherence with the best of yourself,

through meditation, or journaling, or whatever tools you have access to,

can be incredibly wise.

​

This is a path of service that can be a win-win and indirectly benefit others.

​

Remember that:

Writing for your own self-healing and self-love is a service.

Even if it is private and never shared.

​

​

PATHS OF SERVICE is the theme for the upcoming Winter Writing Group

opening to the waitlist November 16th.

​

(Please note, service doesn’t only mean serving others directly.)

​

​

See you next week for the final installment of the “greatest hits” series,

which will help you clarify what path of service is right for you now…

Make sure to sign up for my emails to get it first!

What is something that you are proud of this week?

​

I’m proud of writing articles and creating programs for sale that have enduring stay-power, things that I want to build off of again and again.

​

This week is #4 in my “greatest hits” series while I am on hiatus.

I’m reviewing key ideas and articles about writing learned in 20+ years writing online, and 10 years in business.

​

Hope you enjoy this post, it builds on older ideas with fresh inspiration.

​

And if you are having a hard week, here’s an image I just remembered I made in March when I was feeling world-weary.

​

​

March 2023 was only about six months ago, but it feels ages away now.

That was when I realized how powerful WRITING can be

​

💜 Writing is healing.

💜 Healing is service.

💜 Service is leadership.

​

Writing is a way to lead and SERVE others. 💜

I took this insight and began a Linkedin Series dedicated to the topic.

​

In the first article linked below, I write about how I put all the pieces together.

This theme of Writing as Leadership and Service is something I have been working towards my entire life.

​

I really want people to understand what exactly SERVICE is.

People get confused.

​

Service doesn’t have to be win-lose or make you a martyr.

​

It’s so easy to think of WIN LOSE service situations, that declaring service can ever be WIN WIN is a truly radical act.

​

In fact, I wrote an entire article about what service is NOT.

​

Explore new ways to be of service as a WIN WIN.

​

Rather than myth-bust any further today,

I want to talk more about what service can really be.

WIN WIN:

💜 You get something positive, as does the person (or people) that you are serving.

💜 All of this goodness is happening at the same time, or as much as possible.

​

In win-win service, many people can feel good at once.

You are allowed to strive to feel good and,

yes, it is possible to help other people simultaneously!

​

Creativity and curiosity allow us all to find more win-win solutions, and

in the end that will help more people.

​

(I love small businesses because, when done right, they create a lot of win-win solutions.)

​

​
When you are feeling good, confident, and loved, it’s easier to step up as a leader.

You’ll inspire more people to do and feel the same,

and you get better ideas that can lead to more win-wins!

​

​

The theme I’m feeling called to discuss more in this next season:

​

💜 Writing as a tool for SELF-LEADERSHIP.

💜 Writing as a tool for SELF-SERVICE,

💜 That alone can be a WIN-WIN for other people!

​

I’ve been talking about writing to be your own best friend, and

it’s all a part of a higher purpose…

​

Because if hurt people hurt people, then healed people hurt people less.

​

Writing can help you find clarity and healing.

It’s a tool to help you prepare to say what you need to say from the best possible place.

​

But you can also just write for yourself.

​

You begin by leading yourself through writing and then from that self-sourced place,

you use writing to serve, transform and invite others into deeper transformation alongside you.

​

Even if your writing is totally about you, your feelings and your experiences,

it can still inspire others.

​

If you are doing what your heart is calling you to do FOR YOU,

writing to take care of yourself,

maybe you don’t even need to share about it to be of service.

​

Or maybe you do feel like sharing,

and that will greatly benefit someone else…

​

There are many PATHS OF SERVICE,

so you can pick your own.

​

I’m looking forward to talking more about it.

​

​

PATHS OF SERVICE is the theme for the upcoming Winter Writing Group.

​

And please remember that this doesn’t just mean serving others directly.

​

Writing for your own self-healing and self-love is a service.

​

Because that can be a win-win that also benefits others.

​

Follow the path of service that speaks to you…

And write with us in the group for 6 months, December – May.

​

The goal of the group is to help you

• tap into a deeper inspiration to write more easily and
• produce better, more transformational or more enduring writing that you can be proud of.
• Be of greater service in the world through your writing, book or business.

​

Ultimately, you’ll be moving forward, not just as a writer but in being more yourself,

practicing writing, sharing, and listening to your most genius self

so that you can FEEL the love from others and yourself as a result of your writing.

​
​

Keep an eye out for when enrollment opens:

November 16 2023

​

​​
Doors will only be open for up to two weeks.

Note: this is new.

In the past there was a larger window!

Spots are limited in order to keep it small and intimate.

​
​

Interested in Joining? Add yourself to the waitlist ASAP.

Due to the high value, low cost + has sold out 2 times.

The waitlist gets FIRST chance at the open spots.

​

​Click here to join the waitlist for the Winter Writing Group.
​

And see you next week for another of my favorite pieces of writing in this “greatest hits” series…

​

​

​

It is me again on my hiatus! Been having so much fun I will just pop this quick note to you and continue on my day xo 

See you soon.
​

It’s scary but worth it!

Authenticity. Vulnerability.

There are many ways to define what makes your writing or your words AUTHENTIC.

​

For me, to make my own definition, I just think about what the opposite of authenticity is.

​

When I was growing up and I was so scared to be myself.

I was scared of being judged.

I was scared of being yelled at.

I was scared of being noticed at all.

​

I had gotten far too much negative attention.

It outweighed the risk of receiving anything positive.

​

​In a previous article I said this acted like an electric fence, the thing they use for dogs–

When you get enough negative feedback, you start to avoid places where you might get a shock. ​

You keep avoiding areas and you don’t even notice if

• the people around you have changed,

• the world has changed,

• where you live has changed.

​

Even if it’s safe now…

​

You are still avoiding shocks even if they really will never come.

But still you stay in your little box.

For me I had to stuff all my individuality in that box.

My creativity.

My passion.

My joy.

My silliness.

​

AND I WANTED THAT BACK.

​

I have lived under the weight of fear in my life.

I know how it limited me and made me silent in certain ways that I did not enjoy.

  So I sought to lift that weight. That’s what authenticity is to me.

​

• I found safe spaces to voice, question and probe the areas I was scared to talk about.

•  I did little experiments, telling stories, sharing thoughts within safe spaces.

•  And then I brought some of those stories and thoughts to the public in writing.

​

In each little experiment, I found out if anything bad would happen.

Mostly it didn’t. Nothing was dire.

In doing all of this my life became more free.

​

And the thing that really became addictive for me:

Not only did I become more free, but people said my writing empowered or inspired them.

​

That’s what got me so hooked, realizing that:

BEING YOURSELF CAN BE A SERVICE.

​

Since I discovered this, I couldn’t get enough.

FACING MY FEARS BECAME A HIGH VALUE FOR ME.

It became a lifestyle for me to keep exploring and sharing my voice (with as much safety and intention as possible) even if it made my heart pitter patter.

​

Because I have done that over and over again

I have FELT THE LOVE of

• friends I have found and grown closer to,

• clients I have worked with (and love),

and so much more.

​

Writing was the way I got into being more authentic.

I found it a lot easier to be vulnerable that way.

I’ve truly created a second family from being more myself in my writing.

​

​

So when I talk about authenticity,

•  I’m not talking about airing every single little THING that enters your mind.

•  I’m not saying you MUST tell everyone your biggest fears and insecurities or secrets.

•  I’m not demanding you publish every unfinished draft or “you are fake and superficial.”

​

NONE OF THAT.

​

The point is:

there are things you could be more open about that could change your life and someone else’s life.

​

And you get to determine specifically what those things are.

It doesn’t mean share about ALL THE THINGS.

Just THINGS.

​

Things that are worth opening up about because it’s a service to you and others.

​

Because it’s changed my life so much for the better, I love to help people

•  who have something inside of them that hasn’t come out yet,

•  who haven’t found the audience that loves your writing yet.

•  who want to get the writing for your book or business to the point where it feels good to share

​

And then keep writing, editing, and sharing it until you feel the reaction you are hoping for.

​

Because, yes, writing for yourself is amazing and necessary and part of this process.

But when you show up to be of service (and yourself) and

SHARE WITH THE WORLD

that’s how you will feel the love:

​

•  the confirmation that you are safe,

•  you belong, and

•  you are NEEDED here.

​

​

So don’t forget that being yourself & facing your fear can serve someone.

That is possible for you!!

​

Does writing make your heart go BOOM BOOM?

​

•  Exploring how to tell a vulnerable story.

•  Stepping into an area that makes you feel like a fraud.

•  Expressing an opinion when you’re afraid people will say you are wrong.

​

​
It can make your heart pound or show up as:

​
–  Indecision

– Not Knowing What to Do Next

– Uncertainty

– Confusion

– Writers’ block

– Procrastination

– Stalling

– Self-doubt

– Disquiet

– Anxiety

– Stomach aches

– Absence of Peace

​

One important thing to keep in mind is that you can share your writing in stages.

​

I highly recommend finding a safe reader or a group where you can practice sharing.

First share your writing on a smaller scale, way before you share it with the world.

​

 Then you can improve your writing and get more comfortable sharing it.

​

When you are a writer or an entrepreneur in the beginning of a project,

 having a safe space can help you launch a website, book or business offer with confidence.

​

I used safe spaces like this for many years.

They gave me clarity about what I wanted to share, how to share it, &

the courage to press publish on my business ideas and my book.

​

And because I got SUPPORT to face my fears and smooth out those rough edges,

my life, my business, my relationships are all different now as a result.

​

The Winter Writing Group can be that space for you to

get more comfortable writing and sharing about difficult things.

​

Not only does it include live classes with Q and A,

but it also includes a private group where

you can share one written piece per month (up to 2 pages) for editing and feedback from me and others in the group.

​

The Winter Writing Group can be your safe space to share.
​

If you sign up, this group will be available for you for 6 months, December 2023 – May 2024.
​

The Winter Writing Group opens for enrollment next month!

November 16 2023

​
There will be a limited number of spots for new people to join in order to keep it small and intimate.

​
​

If you are interested in joining, add yourself to the waitlist ASAP.

Due to the high value, low cost + limited spots,

The group has sold out 2 times.

The waitlist gets FIRST notice when the group opens next month.

​

​Click here to join the waitlist for the Winter Writing Group.

​

And see you next week for another of my favorite pieces of writing in this “greatest hits” series…

I am so excited to check-in with you. How are you?

At the time of this writing, I am doing pretty good, still on hiatus until Nov 1.

​

So far my hiatus has included more intense labor on my computer than I had anticipated.

But I think I’m finally done with all of that, thankfully!

​

This hiatus is about having time to do the things I don’t ordinarily do,

and write the type of things I don’t usually have time to write,

but mostly…

I just want to enjoy life and whatever comes with a spaciousness I don’t ordinarily have!

​

I had planned to copy-and-paste a piece of writing with you this week,

the second in my series of what I call my “greatest hits”

articles I think speak to something important that I want you to read.

​

But thie writing below was perfectly on theme with my life

and I felt inspired to rewrite it quite significantly today!

I’m on hiatus but that was fun.

​

Try the new writing exercise below so you can have fun writing, too.

​

As I write last week, absolutely essential things don’t stop being essential!

If you missed that article on your #1 writing priority,

you can read about it and try the exercises included on my blog right here.​

​

See you next week!

xo

———-

​

​

🦋 💜 🌿

Can you relate to this?

​

Here is what I have noticed:

When I feel like I don’t have enough time,
​

🏵️ listening to myself goes out the window,

🏵️ my self-care goes out the window and

🏵️ all sorts of other fun and healthy things go out the window.

​
I’ve been racing around my whole life, feeling like I didn’t have enough time…

At 11 years old, I started exploring the line that divides a run from a walk.

(Running wasn’t allowed inside the school. I could ‘walk’ pretty fast, though.)

​

Here I am. Thirty six years old now.

And I have learned something.

The instant gratification of going fast can feel like a high, but it’s a lie.

​

Rushing usually, in the long-term, ends up costing me time, money and other resources.

So does rushing around REALLY save me time?

Not really.

​

Giving yourself more time to do thing

and taking a deep breath…

​

is a great way to make sure you are taking care of yourself,

thinking in a bigger and more genius way,

as well as getting more things done.

​
Wow, I wish I didn’t have to say that!

I freaking love speeding down the hallway of life!

​

Man, rushing can feel good…but eventually it started giving me anxiety.

​

​Over the last year, I’ve realized that I have a LOT of impatience,

especially when it comes to MYSELF.

And it’s really not good for me.

​

What I’ve seen from working with writers and small business owners for 10 years, is:

almost universally, writing always takes more time than you think it is going to.

​

If you are reading this, you are probably done with school deadlines.

So you are probably the one making the deadlines.

​

The thing is you can be kind of shitty about it.

(Sorry.)

​

Like you probably wouldn’t be such an A-hole to a friend,

but when it’s your book or your website home page,

the fact that you don’t have it done ‘on time’ means you are a miserable, lazy scumbag!

​

We can be so hard on ourselves

that we put blinders on.
​

I know it’s almost all of us with dreams for our book or business or project.

​

And if you feel too bad about not making progress fast enough

you lose sight of reality.

​

Reality is asking:

​

On time? On time for what?

It’s not like you are missing a bus.

​

Wasn’t this timeline something you just pulled out of a hat?

Wasn’t it actually completely arbitrary?!

​

Oh yeah.

Right.

It is.

​

And when you see the reality, you can change your mind.

You can adjust. You can make changes.

You can be realistic with your expectations.

​

You set things up so you can live like a human and not a machine.

​

I believe in you!

You have the power to stop being a shitty boss to yourself, and

set goals and deadlines that don’t make you feel terrible.

​

Because sometimes it takes time to produce something you are PROUD of.

That is really satisfying.

​

And at the end of the day isn’t your mental health more important than whatever you accomplish anyway??

I think so.

​

I also believe it’s possible for you to make progress writing AND not hate your life.

I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN.

It’s really not that rare.

​

So tell this to your inner meanie, the one that’ll drive you crazy, telling you to go faster:

(Blows raspberries)

​

As for me–I have big dreams for you, instead.​
​

What if you let yourself have a little bit more time?

​
​

to write

🌷 a new bio for your website,

🌷 your first blog post,

🌷 your sales page, or

🌷 a few more chapters of your book.

​
​And felt less crazy, less ungrounded;

more expansive, and grounded and GOOD?

​

No matter how long it takes, even at a snails pace,

as time goes on, you will STILL be farther along than you are now.

​
​Let it be spacious, let it be expansive

slow down

listen to yourself and be kind to yourself.

​

How? Here you go…

​

Shift your Values Exercise

Let’s explore your writing projects, business demands or whatever else is feeling urgent or making you feel behind.

​
Try journaling on this collection of questions for 5 minutes.

​

What deadlines are pressing on you?

Where are you feeling pressure to rush or perform?

Does something need to be done by a certain time? Or in a certain order?

Why?

​

How does all of this make YOU feel? Mentally, emotionally?

What happens in your body when you think about these deadlines or time-lines?

​

Now take a deep breath.

Whew! That’s probably a lot that you have been carrying.

Now, reflect:

​

If you are really honest with yourself, is any of this arbitrary or not based on reality?

How can you shift your perception and way of looking at things to give yourself more space or time?

​

Now that you have these new ideas, how do that make you feel?

How does that compare to before?

Is there anything you need to make this new longer time line happen ex. help from someone else?

​

​

SERIOUSLY WRITE THIS OUT or

talk it into a transcription app,

​

sometimes thinking silently without getting your thoughts out of you keeps you stuck in a spiral.

​

That’s why in my writing groups we always do bursts of writing live together, and

during this writing time, people always have ah ha moments.

Since I’m not with you, you’ll have to set a timer for 5 mintues and do it on your own this time!

​

Please, if you feel pressed for time or behind

let yourself actually go through the process of finding your own answers to these questions.

It’s possible you only need a few minutes before a new idea comes to you.

​

Can’t wait to hear what shifts for you.

​

Give yourself the gift of time and space!

If deep down you know that you need to slow down, please listen.

Your brain may not understand how you are going to do everything but you have to get out of your mind so you can reset from the strain of hustle mode.

​

Take a break to get into the present moment,

and more often than not,

the magic of inspiration will come as soon as you start to really let go.

​

Let me know how it goes!

I would love to hear how this message resonates with you.

Just hit reply to keep me in the loop.

​

This article is the second in a series:

An invitation to explore your values and decide what matters in your writing process.

Check out the final installment of this mini-series coming next week!

​

​

P.S. If you like this article, you will probably enjoy the Winter Writing Group!

​

Are you ready to walk your talk?

Not just talk about teaching self love, or following your intuition, or being fully self expressed…

but to DO THAT,

even more richly, even more authentically as you write for your book, business, or soul-led writing projects.

​

We’re here for you in the Winter Writing Group,

an intimate (but affordable) 6 month group coaching program dedicated to using writing

• to be of service to others,
• to listen more deeply to yourself and
• to nurture your talents and inner genius

so you can express yourself better in writing that just might change the world.

​

Stay motivated to write, integrate creativity-nurturing valueswith exercises and customized coaching, get help to make your writing better with feedback and individualized support,

and walk your talk as a writer, creator or business owner so you can

express your deepest, most genius writer-self that something important to say!

​

You’ll feel deep satisfaction that you are doing the things, serving the people and writing the words that really matter.

Feel the love & build on something enduring step by step for your book, business or other soul-led writing project.

​

Join us!

The Winter Writing Group is a 6-month writing group coaching program opening up November 16th.

Spots are limited so click the link to get first grab at the available openings!

Hope you are having an amazing day.

I’m away on my hiatus but I want to make sure you are inspired to write!

Writing is such an amazing tool, I don’t know where I would be without it

​

This article is the first of a set of my “greatest hits” so to speak, or

important articles that I don’t think got a lot of air time when I wrote them.

​

I’d love for you to check in and assess how you are doing with the ESSENTIAL concept below.

See how they can apply to you and your writing now!

​

Absolutely essential things don’t stop being essential!

xo

———-

​

​

Is it your time to write?

You want to write for a book or business.

Your creativity has been pushed around in the past, but now

🏵️ you are ready to flourish like a beautiful flower. 🏵️

Now what?

What helps you do this?

The key is to ask:

What do you need to make writing for your book or business feel less difficult,

and instead

🌷more easy,

🌷more fun,

🌷more beautiful,

🌷more awe-inspiring,

🌷more magic?

And if you are scratching your head unsure of how to answer that question,

here’s a hint.

The keyword is YOU

What helps YOU…

You have to focus on you.

But hold on, let’s stop a moment.

Here’s the thing, writing is not just about writing.

If you want to be satisfied with your writing that you complete,

You have to focus on what you value first.

Yes, before you write and during the process.

If you want to write or create, remember this general underlying principle:

When you focus on different values,

you do different things, &

you end up getting different results.

I’m trying to break down something RATHER heady and important

into bite-sized chunks in this 3 part series on writing values.

Stay with me.

So what should you value as most important in your writing?

🌪️ Rather than waiting for someone else’s permission to bloom or for someone to say you are doing it right…

🌪️ Rather than only applying tried-and-true writing systems someone else has created as “the correct way”…

🌪️ Rather than beating yourself up for not having success the way someone else does or doing it differently…

Try this:

🌷 Listen to yourself more so you can flower from the inside-out

🌷 Honor the ultimate authority of your writing process that lives INSIDE of you

🌷Become curious of your writing process and treat it like an experiment that helps you learn day by day

There is no failing an experiment, there is only learning and iteration where you clarify best practices to try the next time.

You never stay down, you always get back up, eventually.

By listening to yourself:

Your heart.

Your soul.

Your calling.

Your inner muse.

Your inner mermaid.

Whatever you want to call it.

Prioritize your inner experience.

That little voice saying

“maybe I could…”

“this sounds fun…”

“I wonder how this could work…”

And stop telling yourself that you can never listen to that voice because you are busy doing things or writing the way that other people told you that you have to.

That is a huge shift in values.

What you value matters because it will guide your creative process from start to finish.

Valuing your own intuition first is the kind of thing you don’t always realize is important until you have a creative guide or mentor to give you permission.

I’m here to give you permission to listen in and be more yourself so you can write for your book, business or other project in a way that leaves you feeling the love from others and yourself.

No more unsatisfying hamster wheel of doom.

Shift your Values Exercise

Are you listening to yourself as a writer, entrepreneur or creator?

Are there areas where you can listen to yourself more?

Are there areas where you can listen to others more?

Why would you choose one over another in a certain area?

What are you not hearing that keeps coming back?

Try journaling on it for 5 minutes.

Afterward, reflect:

How can you tweak what you are doing in your writing to show you value yourself?

I promise that if you start listening IN, you’ll learn things that will make writing easier and feel better.

Shifting your values will change your writing AND your life!

Your values are individual to you.

You may not think about them on a daily basis, so it’s worth taking the time to ponder them every few months.

This article is the first in a series:

An invitation to explore your values and decide what matters in your writing process.

Keep an eye out for the next one…

P.S. If you like this article, you will probably enjoy the Winter Writing Group!

If you want more support and exercises to help you write by listening to YOURSELF, and

integrate creativity-nurturing values to help you write, and

heal the wounds created from red marks in your old English class…

So you can finally feel satisfaction from completing writing that matters

for your book, business or other soul-led writing project.

The Winter Writing Group is a 6-month writing group coaching program opening up November 16th.

Spots are limited so click the link to get first grab at the available openings!

🍁 How are you doing? The temperature here has plummeted and it’s been very rainy and cool. 🍁

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This is my last email before I go on hiatus!

It feels bittersweet because I love writing these emails and connecting with you,

but I’m also looking forward to some time to detach from my usual schedule after a stressful summer.

​

Why stressful?

To be honest with you, things that have been going on for quite some time that I have not gone into detail about.

It has not felt safe to share.

​

As a writer, this is always a weird place for me to be in–

to have something sit on my heart but not be able to express it outside of my private journal.

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There are many reasons for this–

and, of course, it is totally ok to not talk about things publically sometimes–

but at the core of who I am:

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I am a person who talks about things.

I am a writer and, overall, I am pretty transparent.

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Even if I choose not to talk about something, I intentionally live a life that I can stand being publically exposed.

I chose this as a college student when I was contemplating a life in politics and its turnoffs.

I wanted to be a diplomat, travel, and create world peace but…

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I never wanted to be afraid of damaging news “coming out” about me.

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There are people out there living double lives that would destroy everything if it came out.

They build a fragile house of cards and it all comes toppling down.

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I didn’t want that but I also wanted to LIVE.

I didn’t want to avoid having adventures and mistakes out of fear of life- or career-ending judgment.

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For many reasons, I decided to not go into politics.

A perk was that I didn’t have to worry about making scandalous headlines with my crazy, young-person antics.

Now I live a life where no one cares.

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But I also decided to look deep within myself about my fears.

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Part of this wasn’t about anyone else judging me. It was about me judging me.

​

I decided to work on accepting myself in all my forms, even if it is

• inconvenient or
• messy or
• emotional or
• full of mistakes.

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I want to process anything that ever “comes out of me” with grace and integrity.

Day to day I try to live my life with grace, integrity and thoughtfulness, but I know I will make mistakes.

I know I will never please everyone or even fully meet my own high expectations.

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All in all:

I really have very little to hide.

And I love sharing.

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I can keep a secret to the grave, but that’s much easier if that secret belongs to someone else!

​

But this is a huge change from where I was as a teenager and parts of my 20s.

Through my 10+ years of emotional abuse, I didn’t talk a whole lot about it because it wasn’t validated.

I was constantly gaslighted.

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However, I found an outlet in writing about my experience on a semi-private blog for safe readers.

I barely ever expressed it otherwise, but that one space did so much.

​

I didn’t share everything but I shared a little bit.

I didn’t share it with everyone but I shared it with the people I could trust.

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Over time I realized that holding everything inside is very painful,

and sometimes the only way for me to heal is to uncork, and stop holding back.

And it allows me to connect to people who want to help.

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Which is why now-a-days as a writer,

so many years and hours of therapy later,

I generally do that,

maybe not in the exact moment of a breakdown, but after its over, okay sure.

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Sometimes sharing has been messy or embarrassing or cringeworthy,

but often it has resulted in connection, catharsis, and relief from anxiety or pain.

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But for what I am grappling with and thinking about right now…

Today isn’t the day that I am going to open the floodgates.

LOL

​

Not all the way.

Although, here I am today just opening it a tiny crack…

to let you know that there is more to this story for another day.

​

Certain things are too complicated,

they involve other people,

or are disenfranchised and misunderstood types of experiences that need to be shared carefully, if at all.

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As I said in a recent article for On Purpose Woman Magazine, “some stories need time to tell.”

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You can read the article here (page 118) It’s called Overcoming Instant Gratification to Write Better Stories.

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Today I want to share with you this video interview we did as a followup on the topic of releasing instant gratification in storytelling.

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In this interview, I share more about

• taking time to tell stories and living life more slowly,
• how I learned to do this while living in Japan for over a year, and
• how that affects my writing, social media and online publishing these days.

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I hope it encourages you to live life at your own pace,

and give yourself the space you need

for whatever stories need to breathe before they are ready to be told.

​

🍁 Hi! Today I’m sharing 3 facts about “Deep Coaching” for your writing.

If it interests you, email or message me to talk more about it by

Monday September 11th at 10 AM EST. 🍁

​

​

1. Who is deep coaching for?
   ​​
   ​Deep coaching is for people with these sorts of writing goals:
   ​
   I. Personal Track:
   ​​
   You want your writing to feel more fun and authentic, because it feels good, whether you aim to share it with others or not.
   ​
   You want to get into a flow, write, leave your hangups behind, and feel more genius.
   ​
   You want to feel more best friend vibes: from others and, yes, from yourself. When writing and always!
   ​
   ​
   ​II. Professional Track:
   ​​
   You want more fans, friends, or followers– The kind that GET you.
   ​
   You understand that making powerful connections with more people can assist you in your career as a writer or business owner.
   ​
   You want to develop and hone your writing so you can connect with more readers in a positive way via your website, content, emails, salespages, books, etc.
   ​
   ​
   ​
   ​
2. What is included?
   ​
   ​—6 months with 3 Private Check-ins per month​
   ​
   You can talk to me weekly about your writing goals, progress, or general feelings and thoughts. I’m here to support, suggest ideas and answer your questions. This is over text and audio notes 🙂
   ​
   ​Submit up to 6 pages of writing for (optional) weekly feedback, or 3 pages if you want line-by-line edits.
   ​
   $1500 value​
   ​
   ​
   —6 Months access to the Video Vault
   ​​
   40+ videos to help you write and create for your life, book or business
   ​
   $333 value
   ​
   ​
   ​—6 Months Live Group Coaching​
   ​
   Join the next 6 month Writing group starting in December 2023. See what the last round was like here.
   ​
   The theme for this winter’s session is Paths of Service​
   ​
   $470 value
   ​
   ​
   ​
   ​
3. What is going on this week only?
   ​
   ​
   This week is the only week to enroll into Deep Coaching before November 1st!
   ​
   Enrolling into this program is the only way to get writing support as a new client until November 1st!
   
   After September 11th 2023, all interested new clients will be placed on a waitlist.

​

Hit reply to let me know you are interested by September 11th at 10 AM EST and we can talk more about it.

​Or read more / see my portfolio here.​

​
Have a good weekend!

—

​
​“To anyone thinking of hiring Sofia: Trust your gut feeling when you read, see, and hear Sofia’s work. You won’t be disappointed, she has a lot of heart in her work.​
​
After working with you I have been able to write a little more fluently and frequently. I have also been able to speak up as soon as I feel I need to!”

​
~Jenn, Florida

​

​
“You’re in for a real treat by signing up to work with Sofia. I started working with her towards the end of 2014 when I was writing up my PhD and she helped me through some very dark times.

Because not only was I writing up my PhD but I had moved back home with my parents and was also writing a children’s fantasy book. Sofia has literally bought me back from the brink many times.

In particular I will never forget having a session with her after having just handing in my PhD. Sofia was so grounding, nurturing and compassionate at that time, just what I needed.”

~Dr Saloni Surah, MBBCh, BSc, DFSRH, MRCP, Dip GUM, reiki master

Hey! I liked Twilight. LOL

Happy fall!

🍁 I’m in the “it is September so it is fall” crew, even if we haven’t hit the equinox, yet.

Today is rainy and cool enough for 3/4 sleeves so I’m definitely feeling the fall vibes. 🍁

Hope you are enjoying the changes in the season.

​

Above is the meme that I can’t stop thinking about.

​

What were your obsessions from age 11-12?

​

At 11-12 my best friends were probably my biggest obsession,

followed by getting good grades and not being gossiped about,

pokemon, fantasy YA novels, spiritual nonfiction, and those reptiles stuffed with sand.

​

Two of my best friends moved away when I was 8, which was so sad.

When I got new friends I really vibed with between 11-12,

I latched on HARD. We are still friends to this day.

​

​

This meme sparks a new question for me:

Is best friend energy just an indelible part of me forever?

Maybe!

​

It’s funny because lately I have been thinking a lot about BEST FRIEND ENERGY,

and how maybe the purpose of writing is really to be a best friend to yourself.​

​

I wrote the post linked above in August.

It came out in a rush, spur of the moment

but I got a lot of good feedback that writing to be your best friend was

“WOW! Jaw dropping, never thought of that before” material.

​

Do you ever have ideas and ask yourself:

Was that idea a one-off, spur of the moment thing I’ll quickly leave behind

or is it part of a deeper theme for me?

​

I’ve been wondering.

​

Also, it’s been my goal this year to have a better relationship with myself,

since it is the foundation of everything else.

​

Now that it is the 9th month of the year,

I can definitely say that I’ve come a long way.

​

Writing has been one of the most powerful tools on this journey,

and using it to have a better relationship with myself is NOTHING new for me.

​

Although I have been more or less conscious of it at different times,

writing has been in my toolkit for over two decades.

​

But this year focusing intently on that relationship as more important than ANY other goal was very different.

​

I did another new thing as well:

I reflected on what my gifts were, and being a good friend was very clear to me.

And I started to think—what if I built on my gifts?

​

What if I brought my gift for being a friend into my relationship with myself?

​

At first it sounded just crazy.

Then it sounded too obvious (and I thought how stupid am I to not think of this earlier…)

But then I was like, “Ok, fine. We will try it.”

​

It’s been months along this ever-evolving journey of self-best-friend-manship,

but all of this is just to say that me sharing the post on the topic wasn’t REALLY just a spur of the moment idea.

​

It was the culmination of many hours and years and decades,

writing, seeking, editing, publishing,

trying different healing modalities to heal from childhood abuse and all the other horrors of life,

learning and getting certified in a million modalities, and a masters in spiritual care of others,

as well as ten years of coaching and mentoring others.

​

All for the purpose of being a part of something more beautiful and less confined or frozen than my past:

Something rich, abundant, nourished and nourishing,

that could end up resulting in a harvest.

​

The post was just a small part of the harvest.

​

Because the real harvest isn’t

• the writing that really resonates with people (that is wonderful but a bonus), or
• the things I do for my business (woohoo! I love making money in exchange for helping people but that’s a bonus)

​

The real harvest is every little moment when I think–

Wow look at how I feel, and how I feel about myself right now.

I am not sure I have ever related to myself the way I am relating to myself now.

And it feels really awesome.

​

It is not every second.

But there are more and more seconds.

And they tell me that I have definitely come a long way.

​

​

​

​

What is the ultimate point of writing?

What if it is to be a better best friend to yourself?

​

When you have more “best friend energy” around your writing,

and not so much criticism or anxiety…

you will FEEL the love from yourself on a much deeper level.

​

That’s also the best way to connect to people with your book or business.

​

I’m about to close my availability for all new clients until November 1st 2023!

​

But I have one spot open for “Deep Coaching” at 34% off starting immediately,

​

1:1 writing support for 6 months

no phone calls required,

extra good vibes included.

​

If you want to give yourself more best friend vibes, write and FEEL the LOVE:

​

First read more about the offering here, and then

shoot me an email so we can schedule a conversation to talk about if we are a good fit.

Please email by Monday September 11th 2023.

—

​
​“To anyone thinking of hiring Sofia: Trust your gut feeling when you read, see, and hear Sofia’s work. You won’t be disappointed, she has a lot of heart in her work.​
​
After working with you I have been able to write a little more fluently and frequently. I have also been able to speak up as soon as I feel I need to!”

​
~Jenn, Florida

​

​
“You’re in for a real treat by signing up to work with Sofia. I started working with her towards the end of 2014 when I was writing up my PhD and she helped me through some very dark times.

Because not only was I writing up my PhD but I had moved back home with my parents and was also writing a children’s fantasy book. Sofia has literally bought me back from the brink many times.

In particular I will never forget having a session with her after having just handing in my PhD. Sofia was so grounding, nurturing and compassionate at that time, just what I needed.”

~Dr Saloni Surah, MBBCh, BSc, DFSRH, MRCP, Dip GUM, reiki master

How you been?

In the past week, I have been a bit ill.

It started as headaches that went away for a few days, but then no, apparently they are back and I have a cold.

We are also wrapping up week 2 of the ​free Heartfelt Writing Challenge. ​

Even if you are not in the challenge, I think you’ll enjoy this writing pep talk I shared with all of the participants!

Enjoy.

Today’s PEP talk:

I’ve been writing and publishing online for over 20 years.

What I’ve learned from my process and from helping countless other writers with theirs….

is that it’s easy to be unsatisfied and harder to feel satisfied.

You have to be really clear on your priorities about what really matters to you,

otherwise, you can always pick apart a piece of writing and find fault with it.

You can also always pick apart yourself for not doing well enough.

To me the ultimate point of writing is to be your own best friend.

I know it sounds trite or whatever but what does a best friend do?

– Listen to you talk.

– Notice the patterns and emotions under your words.

– Point out things you didn’t include.

– Offer helpful suggestions based on what you shared.

You can have your time to talk about yourself, write about yourself and then look back as the listener.

– How am I really?

– What is really going on here?

– Now that I have vented what is my next step?

– How much is this something I will care about later on? Is any of this writing a keeper or is this complete?

Btw–

Whether you write by hand, on a computer, transcribe your audio or watch a video of yourself talking,

I count that all as writing ✍️

it just has to be encoded and recorded so you can revisit it objectively from another angle.

Please revisit your writing as a unicorn 🦄 best friend

(not a fake friend).

For more writing peptalks and resources, sign up for my free weekly newsletter here.