How is your week going?
Quick Note:
I’m planning to open doors for the Digital Organization Membership next week
so keep an eye out to get the 50% early bird special.
Click here & get on the waitlist for extra reminders about it Since it’s 50% off for only one week.
So honesty time:
I’ve been feeling weird this week. Slogging. Low energy.
My motivation feels absent. I don’t know why I’m doing anything so I don’t know what to prioritize.
I’m not the only one because a client said the same last week, and
Cheryl Martin on Linkedin just gave my article about “Ungoaling” props for being relatable.
Today I couldn’t get my weekly Funletter email written. (This blog is based on that email)
This is pretty rare for me, lately I’ve had it ready a day early at least.
It’s almost 10:50 central time Thursday now, or almost noon Eastern.
I always notice my email open rates are lower
if I don’t get an email out early in the morning…
so it feels like so late no one will read this.
Oh well.
Sometimes I have to break the rules.
Doing the same thing over and over can create that slog energy.
Today I am going back to my roots,
just being honest as I write to you about what’s going on,
because when I’m lost, that’s the best place to start.
There’s been so many changes in my life lately, and for years on years.
It just keeps compounding.
Lately I’m thinking a lot about what’s missing, what I’m seeking, what I am looking for.
I am seeking comfort, and I’m a fussy baby about it.
I can’t go to the things I used to go to for comfort, old haunts, old people,
now lost or out of touch.
Change is hard.
Without feeling rooted in the past, I can’t find comfort easily,
and thus sometimes I feel hopeless, or anxious.
I know it’s just a state of mind and it will likely pass, but the funkiness can be cloying.
Motivation has brought me comfort in the past.
So I don’t like it feeling absent.
It feels like losing a tooth.
I used to love love love trying to reach my goals. It felt important.
Like I shared in my ungoaling article (page 124 of this free online magazine),
that’s changed.
Pursuing goals doesn’t always bring me comfort anymore.
So why do anything?
Including send emails or write posts for you?
Well let’s talk about what my motivation is not:
It’s not making people like me.
It’s not making a million.
It’s not being famous and successful.
It’s not making my (now deceased) dad proud. [cry]
It can’t be those because
all of those have backfired,
all of them have negative consequences, and
all of them are semi-fruitless because
all of them are outside of my control…
So what the hell is a good source of motivation?
Being my own best friend?
I’ve been gung ho about it for over a year.
It’s a good mission.
BUT this isn’t motivating me right now,
because I feel really crap / blah at the moment, and
my inner best friend energy is NOT flowing, I’ll be real.
Like I’m ok, I’m fine, but I’m not okay like a lot okay.
I’m not thriving.
Not in this exact moment.
Sometimes that juicy feeling just isn’t there.
I’ll be my friend enough to say: it’s not my fault, it just is how it is.
Ok so what about “If it helps one person, it’s worth it”?
This is a pretty good mission for anyone with a desire to help others, to get your business out, write that thing, etc.
But although it’s more achievable than saving the world, helping one person is not something I can control.
And that’s really frustrating to me.
I have to fight against all the other stuff pulling on people’s attention and algorithms are really frustrating.
I can’t control if anyone sees anything I write or create.
Thus how can I make sure I help them?
So no, I’m not motivated by, “If it helps one person…”
As much as I love giving people something valuable in these posts, and not wasting your time,
right now writing to help someone feels like a really suffocating rationale.
Thinkin that way, I find myself racking my mind for something good enough to say,
to justify the 2 cents worth of attention this post may get…
Despite years of churning things out, and about 20 million ideas.
I just don’t have the bandwidth to piece them together into a work of art right now.
So I’ll be honest what is ringing true:
It’s worth it to send this email if writing it helps ME.
Yes ME.
I can be that one person that it helps.
I have often found the writing process to be soothing and comforting and lovely.
If it helps me then I can better control than whatever other people do.
Plus if it helps me it is likely it will also help another person. Just like the lovely Cheryl on Linkedin said about my ungoaling article…
THIS IS RETURNING TO MY ROOTS.
Writing at its roots for me is about healing.
It’s about love,
it’s about beauty and
calm and peace and
getting out of a spiral of victimhood after being dealt bad cards.
I have been dealt some shitty cards in my life, some cards other people didn’t have to hold
but I’ve also gotten some good ones, flipped some around and swapped them and gotten a better set.
I write A LOT of things that no one else sees about those specific cards because
–to be honest
–some things I can’t talk to most other people about without feeling woefully misunderstood.
But you know what?
You don’t have to hold the same cards as me to get what I am saying there
over my life, I have come to see that being misunderstood is itself a very common human experience.
Writing has been an outlet for me to hold myself on the page where I am.
And sometimes I like to share my words with other people just to declare:
ITS OK FOR ME TO BE HERE.
Sometimes I feel depressed or anxious or blah.
If you’re looking for someone to be “done healing” go elsewhere.
I will never be done healing, I’ve been through too much and my feelings are covered by an onion skin in a rough world. But I think there is value in honesty,
in not waiting for you to be emotionally feeling perfect before you can have a voice or feel a sense of progress or say
“It’s not enough but it is enough, actually, because I am ok with it.
And I’m choosing not to see everything as totally sucking forever even if it sort of does suck a lot…forever.
I can make my own meaning on top of that suck.”
That’s what writing helps me to do.
That’s coming back to my roots.
Coming back to my roots is such a good thing to do when I am lost or out of sorts.
Something else I do to stay close to what matters:
I keep notes on my Values and Priorities over time.
When they pop up in my journal entries or writing,
I mark the digital entry with a link to a page on those topics.
Then every so often I sit and go through all the entries I linked, compiling the lessons.
I think I’ll do that next…
That sounds nourishing to review what really matters to me 🙂
If you would like to go spelunking in your thoughts,
it’ll be something I talk about in the upcoming Digital Organization Membership.
Plus: I talk about this sort of process in the posts below on:
-10x your healing +
-morning and writing routines
See the links below to explore that process.
And if you are wondering what program I use to do this, I am using the most awesome free writing app in the word: Obsidian
The series on digital organization for writing and healing:
If you missed my previous series on topics like my video, check it out.
-the wrong question to ask about forgetting good ideas
If you keep forgetting about your best ideas, read this!
-morning and writing routines
This is about an inspiring ritual I started to use to heal from burnout. It really inspires my writing.
-10x your healing, writing this way
This is about the encyclopedia of ME I created to 10x my healing journey!
(You can also watch this video version of the same post!)
-The Paradox of Information + Writing
This is about the fact that the more information you save, the harder it is to find anything. Here’s what I do about this.
Want some hand holding as you get your writing, notes or journals organized?
Sign up for the waitlist for the Digital Organization Membership:
sign up here for extra reminders about the 50% bird special coming next week!!
Bio Refresh RECAP + Writing Opportunity
Get the Replay for the Bio Refresh Party
Are you embarrassed to send people to your website?
It’s not too late to refresh your bio for your website!
Get inspired with this class and feel more confident sharing your site with interested people.
Read more about what’s included in this class by clicking here.
SUCCESS STORY
Here’s what Sandra Lee said,
“I took this workshop. It was SO helpful. Thanks Sofia!”
She edited this bio during our workshop:
”Who is Sandra Lee and What Motivates Her?”
I love Sandra’s fresh and fun vibe, and have experienced her healing work. It’s great.
The workshop inspired a collaboration:
Check out her emails, I submitted some writing to her newsletter!
I wrote a piece about perfectionism
She is also looking for additional writers if you’d like to submit a piece on next month’s topic, “Self-care and business.”
Thanks for reading!
