It got me thinking about what really matters
If you’re looking for the best question to ponder as you plan out what to do next, read this!
Especially if you are a writer, creator or entrepreneur.
💚 This time of year I love pulling out a journal to reflect on the year ahead and the year past.
I love to know what the heck I am doing as I stride forward.
But it can feel daunting to actually write and plan—
A million people are sharing their journal prompts,
there are so many planners to fill out…
The Problem:
💚 A huge list of journal prompts can make me feel overwhelmed,
AND
💚 A blank page can make me scratch my head wondering where to start.
But eventually I powered through. I tried about 30 different journal prompts for reflecting on the year past, and for planning the year ahead.
And I found my favorite!
Maybe you have felt some of those same challenges, too, so I’ll share this question and you can enjoy all kinds of juicy insights, as well.
The 1 Question to Ask Yourself:
💚 If you do nothing else, try this 1 journal prompt!
(It’s soooooo good!)
I got it from Caroline and Jason Zook:
“What is one thing, big or small, you’re pursuing because you think you should rather than because you want to?”
Why I love this question:
Oh my gosh, as someone who has spent a lifetime racing ahead towards goal A or goal B,
💚 sometimes I never stop to think about why I want something.
And if I DON’T — I can finish my goal, but feel unfulfilled, and empty,
like I never moved very far from where I started!
And that’s very bad!
Or I try but I don’t get my goal…
Because didn’t work out in the process and I hit a dead-end and think:
💚 “I knew I shouldn’t have done this, I ignored my intuition! And look what that did for me!”
I have finally figured out that this doesn’t work.
So this question speaks right to the heart of the issue.
I don’t want you to feel how disappointing all this can be.
So now as you and I set goals for the year ahead, this is such a great time to ask:
💚 Do I legitimately want this New Year goal for me, or was I taught to want it?
- Am I doing something in the order of XYZ because someone taught me that and it resonates…
- Or am I just being a good student and blindly following advice?
What do I ACTUALLY want to do, have, or be?
“What is one thing, big or small, you’re pursuing because you think you should rather than because you want to?”
Dig a Hole in the Right Place
“Go go go” is bad advice.
I’m a former speed demon, so I know.
If you’re looking for treasure, it doesn’t matter how fast you dig a hole;
first, make sure you’re digging in the right place!
💚 That means you need to double check what your goal really is and if it’s going to be achieved by what you want to do.
It’s better to SLOW DOWN and make sure you’re putting all your energy digging in the right spot.
Digging in a spot just because other people say to….
is misguided.
This question opened my eyes
When I answered this question in December 2022, it shifted my entire plan what I should focus on in my business, content, writing, and creating in 2023.
Youtube has been on my mind a lot.
I have two channels.
- personal vlogs about Life after Loss since my father died, and a
- youtube channel for people who want to write and create.
I thought I would try to go pro.
I was thinking I should really put a lot of energy into making everything very professional and strategic for Youtube to acquire a bigger audience.
But I knew it was going to be a lot of work, and not the fun kind.
WORK, BLEH.
The kinds of things experts have told me to focus on are:
- Branding
- Keyword research
- Headlines
- Ads reads
- Trends
- Image design for the still
But I realized that frankly, I don’t really want to create that way.
It feels very limiting to put my mind on all of that right now when I just want to focus on:
- Beauty
- Meaning
- Storytelling
- Helping People
- Personal Growth
- Memory Capturing
It is not that I don’t want to spare any thought to the previous considerations, but focusing too hard on it is making me a perfectionist who produces nothing.
I already have a lot to think about.
Demanding I must have the rest in place before publishing is going to kill the spark.
My gut is to just keep doing what works for me.
I’m still going to make movies this year, when I feel like, the way I feel like it.
Yes, this may mean I don’t go viral.
But I just don’t feel like doing heavy lifting trying to trick Youtube into making me famous.
I’d rather focus on making gorgeous stories about the lessons I’m learning in my life since my father died —
yes, life can still have hope,
yes, it can still have beauty.
I’ve inspired a dozen people with my channels already, and although those numbers are not in the millions…
I DON’T CARE.
That’s not why I am doing this.
Pivoting into a new direction
I released that so now I have some free energy to play with.
Eliminating that also made me realize that if I’m going to put energy into growing an audience somewhere new, I’m more interested in growing here on Medium.
I wrote a little ditty about why Medium seems really fun, over here.
And it brought me to think in terms of helping one person versus big numbers.
There is someone here on Medium I can serve by sharing my stories — even if it is just one person.
And I know it will help my SEO game.
That’s where I’m going to put my energy and then I’ll see what happens.
I’d rather do something that feels like me then do something that feels OFF,
even if it is what I’m ‘supposed’ to do.
It has always worked out better for me.
So where is the right place to put your energy?
If you want to:
– write a book,
– expand your business, or
– improve your personal life,
💚 I highly recommend listening to yourself on how you answer that question:
“What is one thing, big or small, you’re pursuing because you think you should rather than because you want to?”
Listen to yourself.
Blindly follow your GUT on what to do next.
You may have heard this before, but it is true.
💚 Your intuition is the best guide you could have.
If you can’t hear what it is trying to say clearly —
that’s why writing is awesome.
Journaling is a great way to find out what your genius self is telling you
You inner genius part of you is:
– not who you are supposed to be,
– not who you were taught to be,
– not the resistance to good changes ahead,
💚 But a sparkly part of who you are now.
My Belief:
Let’s cut the crap —
As you look back on 2022,
💚 there are a million metrics you can use to judge how well you did in 2022.
And this matters, because:
how you judge your efforts, is also how you judge yourself.
I used to get really bummed looking back on birthdays and times when I looked back on my progress,
because I saw my list of what I achieved and always wished I had done more.
Now I have this helpful belief to guide me:
💚 If I am more self-loving at the end of the year than I was at the beginning, then that is a good year.
That’s what really matters to me.
Read that again.
Hey, that sounds really smart, doesn’t it?
I could pretend like I whipped this hot wisdom out of NOWHERE,
as happens sometimes,
but actually this time it took me days.
I did journaling, meditating, and what I call my mermaid-ian practices to reach that fabulous insight bit by bit.
Feel free to riff on this idea and create your own belief based around what YOU really want.
(Versus what you “should” want.)
💚 It might take you a little journaling time,
and mulling on things
and mermaiding around to find your answers,
but it is so worth it.
Give it a try.
Would you like to write for your book, website, or business?
- Write your book,
- Update your website,
- Start a consistent blog or email newsletter,
Get help to make it happen.
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