I’m touched that people keep up with my posts here and have a sense of my life even when we aren’t in individual touch. Writing really is amazing that way and I am so grateful that I have discovered it. ❤️
The other part of it is that I am in the practice of admitting things: admitting I struggle with the difficulty of being away from my boyfriend in Japan for God knows how long. There are good periods and bad periods, mostly dependent on factors outside of both of our control. That I can be more transparent than I used to is the reason someone can talk to me and be like, “and I know you miss Andrew” without me having to say anything.
I do. And to keep my relationship strong, I do the best I can in my relationship to be honest while still loving, to say when I’m reaching a threshold of tolerance of conversation topics that don’t light me up, or talking too little or not connecting really even if we are on a webcam together, of just feeling stuff. I’ve never been with someone who is able to hear me like he can even when I am not feeling good and even when I don’t have a solution. Some things don’t have an immediate solution but that in itself doesn’t have to be another source of angst.
We are figuring it out. I am figuring it out. Mostly we just have to wait.
I hear many people embrace the same philosophy I have right now: take it one day at a time.
