This week I launched my new site at SofiaWren.com and informed over 45 people How to Be a Global Blogger. This blog will be moving soon.
I’m feeling a little on fire and so that means it’s time for a good ol’ rant.
What’s the deal with female sexuality?
As a kid I was the best kid ever–I got good grades, I joined clubs, I got a part time job. I didn’t have my first kiss until 16.
Later that year I got my first boyfriend, and I was so cautious. THANK GOD. If my dad were to marry his current girlfriend, then my first boyfriend would now be my cousin.
The other day me and my Ex-now-Cuz literally high fived. When we broke up we were still both still virgins. Horray! I have saved myself from cousin weirdness forever.
I wanted to mention this to share that female sexuality is not something I’ve embraced, so to speak, for very long in my life.
Yes, there are reasons to be cautious, but then there is reason to express freely as well.
In my teens sexuality held a terrifying allure, and still does so to a lesser degree today.
But as an adult, it’s also obvious that female sexuality is powerful and magnetic.Check out the site of any female CEO–they look pretty good, don’t they? It’s not just that they can afford endless beauty treatments, it’s that they own their power.
I did not grow up in my power at all.
I really had a lot of issues around being attractive for a very large portion of my life. My confidence was so shot, and I was always worrying about my skin or my small boobs or felt awkward.
Yes, I’m thin, but the grass is always greener on the other side, and we women can find a billion ways to decide we are not good enough.
In addition to that I worried so much about being too visibly attractive because I worried about jealousy, cattiness, ruining my reputation, or disappointing my teachers.
Yes, it’s important to make good decisions especially as a youth in a ridiculously small town. BUT many of the factors that compelled me to make that choice were really negative and harmful.
When I am talking about sexuality, what I’m really talking about is freedom to BE whole.
Maybe society has always feared female sexuality because there are no limits. No (man in power) wants to see an insatiable woman that no man can satisfy.
To me the image of the witch is a woman in her power, and in touch with the earth & spiritual realm for healing, understanding, and the living the life she wants. And that power has been condemned.There’s a Papal Bull released just before the witchcraft hunting craze accusing a certain kind of person of vile acts, but really one accusation stands out to my eyes. These witch people “hinder men from begetting and women from conceiving.”
Did the whole witch craze really start because people had to blame their sexual inadequacies on others? (In addition to their dead animals or bad harvests and sick children and blah blah blahs)
Why does our self image have anything to do with another person? Or how other people will see us? Or what other people think?
The thing about seeing the world as a woman is that I don’t define sexuality as sex.I don’t define sexuality as being in a relationship or not being in a relationship. I don’t define sexuality as having anything touching your sexual parts.
Sexuality is like sensuality~ it’s a natural part of every person on the planet.
It’s in our DNA. It’s saying I belong here, and I’m allowed to be a part of things with everything that I am. To feel proud, powerful, and like love itself.
It’s a natural part of breathing, making love to the air around us.
It’s like eating delicious food, a glass of wine. (and most certainly like eating chocolate)
It’s smelling good things, and clean linens.
It’s brushing hair out of your face and admiring the beauty in your eyes.
It’s appreciating the laugh lines and the wisdom held within them.
It’s deciding that your shape is perfect the way it is because you can dance just fine.
It’s the euphoria after a workout.
It’s the feel of water on your skin in the pool or ocean.
It’s holding another’s warm hands.
We have a problem in our society of slicing everything up.
We separate the sex from the foreplay, the turned on from the excited.
Everyone is expected to put themselves in some kind of box, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, polyamorous, pansexual, asexual, dominant, submissive, kinky, vanilla—-all the things that really only matter if you want to know if someone will let you into their bedroom.
I’ve decided not to care about the boxes because they are always too small an answer. I’ve decided not to care for this process of slicing up because I am ready to be whole.
What I want to do is to be fully expressed, and I invite you to join me.
To stop waiting for an experience with someone else to draw out who you really are, to refuse to fully commit to any label as your identity, to let yourself feel whole, divine and magnetic no matter what your outsides.To be an expansive unlimited bundle of power and wonder and light.To decide you are gorgeous without waiting for anyone to tell you.
You are beautiful, and perfect and whole just the way you are. Congratulations.
