Photo by Chloe Sloat
Autumn is a time of change. It’s my favorite season but this year it is too much.
I just moved house to Baltimore. It’s nice, and there are many varigated leaves outside of our window.
We got it for a deal, because we are the first tenants since it was bought and rented and there are various problems.
But at least we have more space. Filled with boxes.
My altar and meditation chair are across my office of boxes and I cannot get them together until the boxes are gone.
Priorities have led me to need dishes and towels and underwear and all those other things.
I probably should be meditating though. It’s cold up there, though.
Sigh. It has been a really really draining couple of weeks as my environment shifts, and my relationships shift, and it seems like all areas of my life have shifted.
And my poor wonderful blog has shifted locations and almost all the blogfeeds are messed up and I am still unhappy with certain parts, the fonts, the fact that no one can leave comments, the copy, and then there is my business which is changing a lot right now, too.
I’m editing my novel From Girl To Goddess. Tomorrow I will be a third of the way through noting all the problems and writing ideas, and it is coming along. But it, too is changing.
Right now it feels like the only thing stable in my life is my fat cat Heidi and how she loves to be pet. She looooves it. Purrrrr.
But she has wandered off somewhere now.
I know all these changes are good and healthy, but I am exhausted.
There is a reason I keep going. And it’s not for me really.
Any time I get all about me I burn out or get stressed or put my head down, curl my arms tight around my legs and ball up my fists.
I’m being really honest because this is what I do. I do it for me but I also do it for you.
If I lie, if I am fake, if I am dishonest about where I am at, it’s a disservice to you. And I love you.
I want you to be real. And when things are hard I want you to know that you aren’t alone, you are not the only one.
You are the reason I am putting my desk as it was. So I can work for you.
You are the reason I want my website just right. So you can enjoy and connect with it.
You are the reason I have to find my inspirational quotes and get them just right. So I can inspire you.
You are the reason I have to practice my piano and my song. So you can hear it.
You are the reason I get to edit my novel. So you can read it.
You are the reason I am putting together a sacred writing course. So you can take it.
I do it for you. You are my motivation for healing.
What’s yours?
Read my Article “Motivation for Healing” on Holistic Diva Living
PS I found Heidi. She was curled up under the blanket right next to me. Perhaps there is hope after all. 🙂
