Swimming upstream? About to hit the next level in your life? Almost done your project?

Well, darlin’ prepare for the breakdown before the breakthrough—- it’s a rite of passage every person must face to develop themselves or improve their life.

The bigger the change you want, the bigger the potential breakdown.

Often, this happens right before you reach success, so you have to keep the faith, and keep pursuing that dream anyway.

Or maybe it’s not a breakdown before the breakthrough, but instead a breakthrough before the break down. Even smaller improvements–an amazing day, a new success–can be immediately followed by a breakdown.

Think about the last time you “upleveled” your life. Did you get praise, reach a goal, have a great date, receive important news, and then immediately after your happy moment, find yourself down in the dumps? Did some other area of your life collapse?

Do you remember experiencing a breakdown before a breakthrough? These are usually a little more difficult to remember because they are overshadowed by the positive moments, but keep the question out there and it may come to you.

Noticing this pattern–the tug and pull of life—will empower you to have faith in yourself and your ability to create improvements like happiness and peace. When our dreams don’t match reality, we need to keep high morale.

I think we’d all like more happiness and joy, more love and success, and perhaps even a little more $? Yes I bet you wouldn’t say no to a few more good things. But your unconscious might.

We all have what Gay Hendrix calls the “Upper Limit Problem.” In his book The Big Leap, he describes how we all have an inner thermastat–a certain tolerance for goodness in our lives. When we cross the threshold into unknown territory (basically more overall awesomeness) scale tips too far. This alerts our subconscious mind that something is out of the typical equilibrium and inevitably we are drawn to find something to be upset about– petty fights with loved ones, an accident, a tech crisis, old heartache, or something else.

Sure feelings come up, but we never have to be devastated by things that happen in our lives. Whether or not it really is a big deal, we can still choose not to become fully emotionally invested. We could always be grateful for what we have and do our best to make the most of the situation. This allows us to hold on to the positive aspects of our experience.

If you find yourself experiencing your Upper Limit or going through a breakdown, ask yourself what you were feeling before the breakdown happened. Try to get back in touch with that and back on track.

Something that is absolutely necessary when coming across a breakdown, whenever it happens is to pause and breath. Then:

1. Do not blame yourself or call yourself weak, etc. This is all a part of the process of growing! Congrats, you are on to something. Try saying this to yourself, “Of course I feel this way. I make sense.”

2. Get space to relax, take care of yourself and process. You could meditate, journal, talk to a coach or friend, get a massage or whatever works for you.

3. Pat yourself on the back for continuing to seek improvements. Find something to celebrate and decide to see the glass as half full rather than half empty.

4. Remind yourself of your big why– why are you doing what you are doing? What are you building? Is what you were seeking still relevant? What lays before you on the path to your goals or desired experiences? Organize your todos, and decide what manageable bite you will tackle and what you will enlist others to help you with….tomorrow.. because today you need a break!

Good luck

xx Sofia Wren

I help sensitive, caring individuals who have a different perspective of the world to overcome their struggles with uncertainty and fear.

I help them express their unique perspective and personal journey so they may be a better, more confident version of themselves.

Whether you are an entrepreneur, a writer, or artist, if you’d like to overcome fear of your true purpose, and feel safe expressing yourself, so that you can help more people in the world and better your life–

Request a free 15 minute Down to Paper Session to gain clarity on what you are here to write or create for your book, business or other project 

Many of the people I work with are unhappy. Hate their job, work too much, and not in a way that feels authentic and honest about who they really are. But even though they resent that, are sick of it, they feel stuck because they need to pay the bills. They just don’t know what else to do.

Maybe you are like this– I’ve been through this several times and I’m only 26.

I’m like you– I thought if I followed the rules, put in the time, and worked hard to attain the goals other people called “successful” then I would feel successful.

I’d have enough money, and enough time to rest. I’d be happy and have lots of friends–bcause I’m successful and that’s what happens, right?

But life doesn’t really work like that, does it?

Getting in touch with what is really important is the only way to see real happiness come true in your life.

This is something I can help you with. I’ve always been good at reading between the lines and helping other people to see their situation in a more positive light.

Getting clear about what is really the true definition of success for ourselves is necessary. But it can also be hard to do alone.

Why? It’s so hard  because it’s easy for you  to feel like there must be something wrong with you if “success” and the life you worked so hard to create aren’t satisfying and fulfilling you.

I know this sucks!

The good news is that once you know what you are looking for, you can bring it into your life within the month.

In this video I share my definition  of success: freedom, spontaneity, ending work at a reasonable hour and talking to you, and how it differs from a more mainstream approach.

I even cut corners on lighting and making sure the camera didn’t point at one of the ugliest spots in my new house (of course it’s the one only I usually see) but what’s important is I got it done. I made it a part of my point: for me the definition of success is putting myself out there in the first place, even if it’s not perfect. That way I can go back to chilling out and enjoying life.

Watch for  suggestions to get clear on your definition of success in 2014 for happiness and balance.

Still have questions about where to go from here? Work with me in-depth– only 4 spots are left this year at the time of this writing: https://sofiawren.com/cut-the-confusion-embrace-a-clear-path-for-2014/

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Many people desire to write a book. For years they’ve said they will write it one day, or if they are motivated enough to actually try, that it’s almost done, just needs a little more editing.

I include myself in this: I’ve been saying for a while that I’m this close to being done one of my many manuscripts.

For the last year five years I’ve been trying to write a novel. I’ve always loved reading them but I could never have imagined how much work writing a book is!

It’s no wonder many people never do.

This week I have promised to send my readers a new draft of my book, currently entitled From Girl To Goddess. I’m not sure when I began this book, perhaps August of 2012. It’s January of 2014 and I’m pulling out all the stops to kick my own butt and get this baby done as soon as possible.

Strange thing is…I feel like it’s finally happening. I’m getting near the end. Slowly I feel the cord connecting me to the book thinning.

Maybe I’m just sick of it. Maybe I’m ready to stop working on this and move on to my other manuscript (ok kinda a little).

But it’s more than that. The art I had been crafting has taken a life of its own. When I get stuck I take a moment to meditate and connect to my book: the etheral form in which is it already completed, already finished and I just have to tap into that image and listen to the way it would like to be shaped.

I am sensing that this book is getting all grown up and it’s almost time to leave the nest. How bittersweet.

Often when we are in a situation in life we are used to– good or bad– we get comfortable. Sudden changes even for the better can be jarring– oh my god it’s freaking me out to get my life in order! What, my book is on it’s way out to readers? Weird.

Part of me feels like a mom with empty nest syndrome. Another part of me feels satisfied. Another part of me is ready for the next creative endeavor. Another part of me is like oh god now I need to sell this to people. Another part of me knows there are one or two more rounds of edits left with my readers and a professional editor. That part wants to kick itself or something. Ok that’s a lot of slices of Sofia Wren.

I just wanted to take pause in the midst of the busy to jot a note down for someone at an earlier stage of their creative work.

Dear Writer:

Keep at it, but even though we desire so badly to be done our opus, the hardest part of the creative process may be letting it go, just like turning the final page of a really good book.

Do you have dreams of writing?

I help sensitive women who are drained by the needs of others and struggling to find the time to write so that they can become confident and motivated to fully express themselves.

Book a free 15 minute Vision session to get fired up about your book or blog ideas and get pen to paper asap.

Being a leader means standing out, being different, and for me at least–that’s terrifying.

Recently, I found myself raising my hand in a networking event to offer an internship. Everyone else in the room I had just entered, was offering a spot at a nonprofit or department of the government.

“Do I really have to raise my hand?” I asked my intuition. 

Yes, it answered.

Yes, it repeated, a little stronger this time.

Dammit. As a Certified Ethical Intuitive Consultant, it’s my job to listen to that inner voice. I did ask for guidance, choosing to ignore it would be a bad idea. Believe me, worse than public speaking.

This video describes how I got through fear and doubt to confidence as a leader:

I raised my hand, introduced myself as Sofia Wren, self employed and started describing what I was looking for: an internet marketing intern. 

Suddenly someone shouted from the back something like, “What department are you?”

A flood of embarassment and nerves hit me. Of course I was going to say what I did but I was derailed by the interruption, “I’m an intuitive…a life coach?” It’s not exactly how I’d sum myself up, but at the moment it was all I thought this crowd could understand.

Then came the flood of things I hadn’t said: my certification, I’m a writer, I help big hearted sensitive people write books, calm their fears, change their lives, reclaim their voice and power. Oh and I could have sounded more articulate..argh.

I had traveled from my home in Baltimore, Md, to the event in Washinton, D.C., home of the federal government. Talk about stuffy.

Most people turned their head away to listen to the next NGO or government opportunity, and at first I worried no one would want to talk to me. 

But when we came back to mingle, people kept approaching me. It was a small slice of the whole room, but I always had someone to talk to.

Two class members from school found me to catch up, yay friends! And I gave my card to three current students interested in my work, my intern opportunity, and the way I call people out to call themselves a writer even if they think they aren’t yet. An older alumnae with a swirly mandala necklace found me to pick my brain about coaching. 

And what I realized is that the definition of a leader is to do what other people are afraid to do: stand out.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, sure. There’s a reason why I don’t use my Political Science B.A. to work for the government. I’m just gonna say I can intuit some people could sure be having a lot more fun. But I chose to stand out in a way no one else did and everyone could.

When we can battle the fear and be who we really are– instantly we attract the people we are meant to serve, lead and inspire.

On my way home, I battled feelings of not being enough. I know it’s common but it is a powerful block to confidence and happiness. In my free ecourse I call this the number one mistake that luminaries make.

I repeated the phrases I recommend in the lesson, “I am enough. I did enough. I did my best. I am OK the way I am. I am sufficient.”

The bad feelings were compounded by the traffic on the way home. Suddenly I remembered this little trick: I have decided….

Repeat after Me:

“I have decided that I am enough.

I have decided that I am sufficient.

I have decided that I am OK.

I have decided that I am perfect the way I am.”

And that’s when the fire rolled in my belly and stuck the whole hour home through the cold to my warm toasty home filled with love.

I’m different, it’s obvious. I have decided that I am leader– if you stand out, maybe you’re a leader, too.

Blessings

xx Sofia Wren

P.S. Are you ready for your dreams for 2014? Could you use some direction, clarification or confirmation that you are on the right track?

I recommend this month’s New Years Tarot Reading Special for an affordable and insightful answer to your biggest questions about 2014.

Get the success you deserve!

What do you need to know BEFORE you make or act on your goals? The answer is your priority—and it’s not what you think!

I always thought my priority was my work, or maybe producing page after page of writing. But it took until my 26th year on this earth to figure out that work is not my number one priority after all.

The reason I know this is true is because I’ve made work my priority for over a decade now, and I can’t say it has ever increased my happiness by itself. Work just creates money which allows me other things I need to survive. But survival is not happiness.

In the past I’ve started the year by jumping into goals. This isn’t step one! I learned that it should be setting your priority from Chalene Johnson’s Smart Success Program, and it’s completely changed my life and the way I perform Tarot and Oracle Card readings for the Year Ahead.

Most people I know and serve have a tendency to go to extremes. It’s easy to get focused on one area of life and go all out–think 50 hour weeks, a huge todo list for your new business, financially struggling so you can finish your book.

To get balance in our life we probably need to look at our Achille’s heel. THAT is probably the real area that should be our priority.

I’ve created a short video on the topic, which I will share with you today. I hope this inspires you to find more balance in the year ahead by focusing on what is really important–not just dumping all your time and energy in one area year after year.

Leave a comment to let me know your priority from the last year, how it served you, and if you’ll change it in the year ahead

And if you need help clarifying your priority and fitting it into your life, get in touch with your intuition through my private coaching and readings available in 30 or 60 minute sessions as well as my incredible 2014 In-depth Intuitive Success Plan. 

It’s time for a personal post. If you’ve been in my world, you know that I used to post about my personal life all the time. I’ve cut back now to focus on writing my books but even earlier this spring I would share about my life at least twice a month for the full and new moon.

You might not have understood why I theme these “moon” posts. Well, it’s because I honor the moon in my spirituality. Today’s title for the post is speaking about the “broom closet.”

For many years past I identified as a witch, a Wiccan or a pagan. This is a special kind of spirituality that honors the earth, goddesses and gods of many cultures. It is ceremony based and it is believed that individuals can influence the way that their lives happen with these ceremony, prayers or spells. This is because we are all powerful and divine in our own life.

Witches used to have a bad rap. I still love witchy stuff, (cauldrons!) but the identity may limit me today. I’m aware.  I recently wrote about my spiritual journey including many of my past struggles for an interview with my teacher Flora Peterson.

Flora recently certified me as a Certified Ethical Intuitive Consultant, which means I have been tested for accurate and ethically sound readings. She’s also a super star in the pagan-spiritual world because she openly talked about being a witch on youtube while living in the midwest  years before many people like me had the courage to tell anyone.

On Saturday I am working (playing, really) with my friend Pamela Chen. We are performing an earth-based ceremony for the Winter Solstice live for all to see online. We are both huge fans of Harry Potter so we are going to be bringing lots of messenger owl imagery into the guided meditation. The purpose will be to clear the old and set an intention for the new year to come.

I do similar ceremonies every two weeks, it’s a staple for my practice, but I have never performed a ceremony on live video, let alone video. This to me is the real coming out of the broom closet. I’ve been spiritual for a long time, but to be honest, I’ve been scared that if people know that about me I will face dismissal, judgement or shame. I graduated from a very good college and I have traditional smarts, I just also believe in magick 😉 (That’s how witches spell it sometimes)

I want to live in a world where all people are tolerated, and equal even if they believe different things. So I think I will be part of the change and take advantage of the new technology we have to spread information. Now if anyone wants to know more about me, they will find this ceremony on youtube and they’ll know “witches” aren’t that scary. They are like every one else, just a slightly different style.

Below is an excerpt from my upcoming interview with Flora describing my spiritual path and how I’m a lot less attached to the word “witch” than I used to be. I consider writing to be the crux of my spirituality, not any particular deity or guide, etc. My current religion is three pages of writing a day.

Still Goddess and earth-based spirituality were important steps, the door way that led me to myself, to wholeness and to where I am now. So I am forever grateful for that and I am committed to curing misinformation around witches, wicca, witchcraft, earth-based religions and pagan people.

Have a happy solstice, and remember if you want to join us on the solstice live you are welcome! Click here to RSVP.

The replay will also be available on my youtube channel.

Here’s the excerpt from my interview with Flora Peterson. She asked me “What brought you to the spiritual path you are on now?”

My name is Sofia Wren and I was born on an island. As a little mermaid, I played with rocks on the beach and tried to jump over waves.

I’ve always been sensitive, and drawn to Mother Nature. My Momma was the Ocean.

I always loved books, and after reading fantasy novels I decided to become a priestess with magic powers.

Other kids thought this was strange. That didn’t feel good. Something happened then, where I lost myself in the crowd. No one saw the real me until ten years later, when I started to write again.

I had been so afraid of what people thought of me, that my creativity had dried up. I hated the way a few bad eggs called me “witch” in the hallway.

I think I had read about kids getting beat up and my home life was rocky, too. I was so afraid all the time. For years. I threw my Wicca books away or hid them.

I hid in the front of the class with my hand up, and tried to have every right answer. I was even scared when people called me Hermione. I didn’t want to be a target, so I followed the rules and avoided the spotlight.

But after I graduated Bryn Mawr College with a degree in Political Science, I knew that field just didn’t fit me. I had to get serious and figure out– who am I anyway?

That’s when I had to go back to the ocean, to mother nature. I finally had to heal the loss I had never processed, the death of my mother which happened when I was three.

It felt like people kept leaving me at 22. After my heart broke in a serious way, I could not survive without my spirituality. I really wished I had a mom, a mother goddess had to do, though. I needed that love and connection, because in the process of reclaiming who I was, I also lost close friends who had liked the old and fake me better than who I really was.

And so I found myself at the counter of Harry’s Occult Shop in Philadelphia asking for help. I was prescribed crystals and oils, and I began keeping an altar again, pulling Tarot cards, and reading the books on Wicca, Witchcraft and Paganism that I had hidden so long ago in middle school.

As an adult goddess and earth-based spirituality were my doorway to myself. But looking back, I can see that treating writing as a spiritual healing practice was also always a huge influence. After finishing the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, I discovered I had a secret dream to be a high priestess. I signed up as a First Degree Dedicant with Sacred Mists online college. I am now taking my High Priestess exam.

The program there is very open, and guides us to pick a deity to research, meditate on, and work with for at least a month before moving on to the next lesson.

Over time I found myself drawn away from the Roman and Greek myths I had always loved, to connect with Celtic deities, then Arch Angels, then Ascended Masters and Spirit Guides. I studied the work of Sonia Choquette and found a local teacher as well. I became drawn to the program at the Quantum Success Coaching Academy which is based on the Law of Attraction.

So although I thought it was so important to be allowed to be pagan as a teenager, entering that door as an adult led me much further away from it than I would have imagined. Once I got access to the Goddess again, and was allowed to heal that connection within and without myself, I then became drawn to the sacred masculine, and healing that within and without me. And then I connected to my own personal power, the creator inside of me, that mirrors every face of the divine imaginable.

As a writer, I see the divides dissolve between me, and the faces of the divine. I write stories and characters that are part me, but part something else entirely. Wisdom flows on the page that is the wisest I could ever come up with– is it the divine? Is it me? It is both.

I call this Sacred Writing, and it’s my main spiritual practice. I write every day, all kinds of things, it keeps me sane just like meditating does. I wish I had done both as a teenager, but eventually I found my way to write a beautiful world into being.

Writing as a spiritual practice is something I look forward to teaching to other people in the years ahead, especially sensitive and introverted people who need to get in touch with their power, voice, and confidence to change the world around them with their message and unique story. I love using cards and ceremonies to help people make that connection but I definitely hope my clients write their insights down, too!

Click here to learn more about Sacred Writing. 

When someone calls you a writer, do you reply, “Oh, not really, no I’m not really a writer,” or, “I’m not much of a writer…”

Do you hear that coming out of your mouth? Let’s break down this old story together and get you moving forward with confidence on your projects.

Over the last year I’ve slowly and gradually come to claim being a writer. I even made a youtube video about it months ago. It’s called 4 Steps to Call Yourself a Writer.

Since then I’ve begun to realize how prevalent this problem really is among my friends, new and old, who like to write.

It’s almost universal–it seems like every pen scribbler I meet lately feels uncomfortable claiming the label of writer.

You reading this may not even realize this is you!

Maybe you think of yourself as a blogger, or you just journal or you just write for business, or you just send 100s of emails and texts every week.

Now, I believe in the Law of Attraction, so I recognize that maybe there is still a piece of me learning this lesson. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I am seeing this problem in others–it must be a part of myself, too. There is still a part of me choking on the label “writer” as I near publication for the first time.

I also believe that the easiest thing to teach is what I have most recently learned. So I’m revisiting this topic, today, for you, and for me.

After 15 years of creative writing, getting As on my papers, compliments from my teachers and friends and others, even winning an essay scholarship, or having a shelf full of journals or 2 manuscripts, 100s of blogposts, you wouldn’t think it would be so hard for me to call myself a writer.

I hope by sharing this with you, you can see that this fear to claim the label of writer is not a logical one– it’s irrational.

Because how many writer police are really out there banging wannabes around with batons for thinking too much of themselves? I haven’t met any, yet.

Maybe I’ve met a few pretentious snobs that turn their nose at this writer or that but honestly there are buttheads every where and no matter what you do, someone is not going to like your writing. That doesn’t mean you are not a writer.

In fact if you look at most of the hottest books, they tend to have 5 stars AND 1 stars. Great writers connects individuals together, and that is easiest when you are targeting certain people specifically–inevitably alienating some.

Praise is a dangerous thing–all those good words from my teachers gave me very high expectations of myself. For 10 years my creativity became paralyzed, because I was so paralyzed by the need to get everything perfect. I only managed to slug it out for graded papers with deadlines– my own work was nonexistant.

There’s something that you need to know about “writer.” It’s a label and a box that you can choose to use for your purposes rather than the other way around. You don’t need to be afraid to dip your foot in.

Because what “real” writers know is that the golden road to good writing begins with a heap of crap. A HEAP of crap. Pages and pages and pages and yes maybe a gem falls out occasionally, but you only get there with effort and time.

Give yourself time to hone your craft. Don’t assume that calling yourself a writer is claiming to be a master.

Call yourself a writer and let others. They will remind you to get back on that crappy road to find your gold. And then back again! Forever.

Do you need to work on the stories you are writing or living?

Check out my current specials on intuitive readings for a creative way to find the clarity and inspiration you need for a successful year ahead.

I’m a certified ethical intuitive reader, a writer, and a coach. It’s my job to inspire you, heal those old stories and write a beautiful world into being. Let’s go!

Hey friend,

How ya doing?

I’m feeling a little nervous and excited..

It feels like that time of year –we are just about to cross into next year and the holidays are coming!

Ah! It sure gets crazy, right?

But for now we can still have a little peace.

I’m going to create a safe, fun, and sacred space for you LIVE on Thursday Dec 5 at 8 PM EST.

It’ll be like a holiday party and I’m giving everybody a gift.

I’m so excited to hang out with my community in real time. Yes, you will see how silly I am in real life.

And it’s FREE. It’s on facebook!

*dance dance dance I’m so excited*

You can get a free Tarot or Oracle Card reading just by showing up! RSVP here.

It will be like we are all in the same room–you’ll see me on video answering questions.

Want to know what’s coming up and how you can have the best holiday season?

Just leave a facebook comment and you will see me deliver your reading in real time.

Have some fun and hang out with us.

And bring a pen and paper so you can write your insights down!

Consider this a thank you for reading my blog– I deeply appreciate you.

I hope to see you there and pull a card for you!

(don’t worry if you are shy, just leave a comment)

Later mermaid,

xx Sofia Wren

PS If you missed this event– mark your calendar for the next one. See all the latest events on my event page

Here’s what people said about this event:

Is there more to writing than making money?

Like many writers, I have a dream of getting on the best sellers lists, seeing my book sitting on a shelf in the grocery store for all to see.

I imagine that if I reach enough people with my amazing writing, then I’ll not only have respect, invitations to hang out with really cool people, a hoard of fans, but I’ll also have a very nice paycheck to enjoy as I sit in some international destination in a lounge chair next to a mixed drink complete with a baby umbrella.

Do you imagine something similar?

What is the dream you have about your book, or where your writing is going?

Whatever your dream is about how your writing will be received, there is real value in writing your book.

Maybe no publishers will want it. Maybe no one will press “add to cart” on Amazon.

Maybe none of the things that you hoped would happen happened.

But what if the true value of writing your book is something different altogether?

What if the process of writing your book is of such enormous value that by the time you finish, you won’t even care how your book is received?

For more than a year I have been writing or revising my book From Girl to Goddess.

That’s a long haul. I think I have a great book idea, and I do believe it fills a void in the marketplace.

I believe it will start some amazing conversations, and will open doors for me to participate in those to discuss women’s empowerment, sexuality, spirituality, stereotypes and gender norms. All of these are interests of mine.

I believe my book will advance my career. It will help me to be a spiritual life coach to amazing and unusual women. It will help those amazing clients find me, which is priceless.

I believe it will also allow me to teach others to write in a bigger way. I’ve been a writer since forever, a blogger for 15 years, a novelist for 5, but there is something magical about becoming published.

But what I never believed, it that in the editing process, I would evaluate not just my story but also my life. I would learn new things about myself, my past, my perspective, my voice, and who I want to be from now on.

No matter what anyone thinks about the lines across the page, I am a new person. I am a new confident whole person.

I have gained so much from the revision process, that I highly encourage anyone reading, especially anyone who has say an unedited NaNoWriMo draft sitting on their hard drive–to revise your book.

Finish your book. Look at your book.

And if you are a blogger–go through and make your blog a book.

Edit. Edit. Edit.

Because it is though the laborious editing process that you will see things about yourself more objectively than you have ever seen before.

You will learn new things about yourself that you could never have otherwise known.

You are ready to write a book and change your life forever.

It’s a process akin to life—you don’t have a real roadmap. You can make a guide, a plan, but what you have to do no matter what is take one foot and put it in front of the other.

Take the next step. Read that next page. Write your notes down and then read the next page and write the next notes.

Keep going.

And that’s how you’ll discover the true value of writing a book.

Blessings

xx Sofia Wren