Time feels like it is moving fast! We are already in September, and if you are like me, that feels absolutely insane. But here we are.
I managed to go to the pool 3 times this past weekend, since it’ll be the last time I can go this year…and who knows how we will make it happen in 2026 with a baby!
Today I want to share this video I made. I made it for a problem I have sometimes and I am sure others do, too.
When I’m really busy some times I can get my blinders on.
Which is too bad because sometimes that means I shoo away really brilliant ideas!
Let’s remember not to over do it and keep some creativity alive this week ahead.
I had a lovely moment this weekend where I checked something off of my summer bucket list:
I went to a local lake and watched the sunset go down over it with my husband.
It’s just what I needed to celebrate the transition from summer into fall that is happening all around me, cool breezes included.
And I also have been fighting off the recurrent little voice in my head that keeps telling me to hurry, hurry, hurry.
Do you ever have the feeling like there’s just not enough time to do everything you need to do?
A book, blog, youtube video, podcast, email series, a class, marketing it all. You might have a ton of ideas and things that you want to bring to life.
This stress about time keeps boomeranging back to me lately!
Especially since at this point I am 5 months pregnant!
I had a rough first trimester with brainfog, fatigue and nausea so I didn’t get so many things done that I wanted to in spring and early summer, and I have felt behind ever since.
There are things I want to write, projects for my two businesses I need to complete, classes to make new salespages for, etc. etc. etc.
Now that I have a bit more energy and mental clarity, my capacity to do things feels temporary and vulnerable.
Out of the blue, I sometimes am overcome with so much exhaustion that I can barely keep my eyes open.
And I feel like a new symptom or chaotic life event is going to crop up and dash all my plans any day now so I better get things done right now before that happens.
And of course when the baby comes sometime around Christmas, a lot more will change.
But the thing is—THIS URGENT FEELING IS NOT NEW.
Feeling a sense of needing to rush or hurry up is not unique to my being pregnant.
I have regularly felt some version of anxiety about time my whole life!
And so if you are feeling that sense of rush, then we are in similar scenarios.
The Power of Noticing Your Blindspots
To understand what I mean that this feeling is not unique to me being pregnant, let me back up for a second.
I know that a need for speed is one of my blindspots because I wrote it down and I regularly take time to work with my notes.
It’s really my super weapon.
This week I felt the seasons changing, so I felt compelled to look at what I consider to be my sacred texts:
my periodic reviews of the past week, month, and seasons.
The habit of reviewing the past has been totally lifechanging, and I always refer back to what I write about how the week, month or season is going as well as my intentions for the next time segment.
I keep the worksheets I made to do this in a disc bound notebook I call my “Get Fired” book, or my motivational commonplace book.
I also archive them digitally in my second brain which is in Obsidian, so it’s all available to me quickly.
(My classes about how I use Obsidian to digitally organize my ideas and notes are coming back later in the fall.)
When I went back to the notes I took in January about my plans for the year, I saw it in black and white:
one of my major goals for 2025 was to put myself first by taking my time.
And why was this a goal?
Because rushing and getting anxious is a pernicious pattern I have noticed over the past few years.
It became very obvious since 2021 as I started digitizing my notes and journals and noticing patterns among them, like how often I said I was stressed about time or feeling behind.
Getting things done in the time I have can be a huge source of anxiety for me, and it is not new.
Of course, when I am in a rush and feeling all the urgency, this goal of TAKING MY TIME feels totally impossible.
Mindful Exploration
But this week, I decided to try to be more mindful so I have been sitting with the feeling of needing to rush and be busy. Exploring it. Questioning it. Musing about it.
Am I sometimes busy as a way to feel more control in the face of uncontrollable change? Probably.
Does hurrying up to do something help me avoid sitting with deeper feelings that I need to process? Sure.
I can’t just sit decide to do nothing all fall, but I also can’t run myself into the ground rushing to do everything without ever taking a breath.
There has to be a MIDDLE way.
And my goal is to find that.
Because it is true that I AM busy, and I do have limited time,
but getting into a frenzy because of this will only result in more anxiety, less control and less clarity about what is really important to get done in the first place.
I feel like a part of my mind has so much trouble accepting the idea that going quickly can actually be more work and be less effective…but it’s really important for me to slow down.
Why it Matters
For years I have been saying this:
If you are digging for treasure, it is more important to get clear on where the X marks the spot is on your treasure map, before you start digging a deep hole really fast.
When I feel a hurry energy, a part of me just wants to get moving into action.
But what if I am digging a deep hole in the wrong place?
Throwing all my time and energy into the wrong tasks?
There are MANY things I could be doing with my time. Even if I do it quickly, I still can’t do all the things.
I need strategic thinking to make the best possible use of my time as a writer, creator, entrepreneur and human.
And that requires higher level thinking, and
a connection to my whole self not just my fight or flight system.
I can’t have that mental clarity if I am always in GO MODE,
frantically focused on checking off every little tiny thing on my to do list like my life depends on it.
I have to take a breather, get perspective so I can really know what are the biggest most important things to tackle next are.
Ungoaling
Many people tell me they are faced by this same conundrum of how to tackle all their ideas in the limited time they have.
A lot of my clients talk to me about it.
-Should they do the book now, or start with a blog?
-Then there is the website, and they want to start posting on social media…
-But what about an email list, or networking groups?
-They also have a youtube channel or a podcast they want to start, so when is a good time to do that?
-Which thing should they do in their business first, the 1-1 coaching, or launch 10 classes about XYZ things?
I’ve made it part of my job as a writing and business marketing coach to talk people through their ideas,
and really explore WHY each idea matters to them so that they can find clarity and clear direction before running into action and burning out.
A lot of times after we talk, they have decided some goals don’t make the cut.
The reason for doing them was not powerful enough, or maybe it was that they subconsciously wanted to impress people.
Once they realize that their motivation for some ideas isn’t really coming from a healthy or authentic desire, they find that they don’t really care about doing them right now.
I call this ungoaling, releasing the pressure merely to do things because you said you would do them before…
Often goals sloof away like old skin cells under a loofah. And you can leave them behind.
Me and You = Same Boat
If you are feeling pressed for time. I feel you.
I’m on the journey with you.
And I don’t believe the answer is to tell you that you really can do it all at once, because I don’t think that is true.
I think we just have to be honest about our limits and try to make the hard choices about what really matters to get done with the time that we have now.
Hopefully that doesn’t mean sacrificing everything that you DESIRE to do, just to tackle what you need to do.
Let’s allow ourselves some whimsy, some beauty, some peace, some space.
But avoid overly high expectations that are either setting you up to fail, or making you too stressed to function.
as I, too, try to make the use of my time and energy for important projects,
as well as take a deep breath in the space I have now before I enter the cave of motherhood in a few months.
I’m on this creative journey of living life and needing to prioritize, just like everyone else.
And I hope my one life is not all about being busy, and that I do create memories and moments that not only make me satisfied with what I got done, but also make me smile.
I love this new book-related video game that I picked up, called Tiny Bookshop.
“Leave everything behind and open a tiny bookshop by the sea in this ambient narrative management game.
Stock your tiny bookshop with different books and items, set up shop in scenic locations, and run your cosy second-hand bookshop while getting to know the locals.”
5 Stars from me.
It’s easy to play for either a ten minute chunk or way longer, depending on how much time you have.
Worth checking out!
And now for a deeper topic that I hope inspires you to write and create!
New Article
The Secret to Creative Clarity by Sofia Wren
Learn how to gain clarity on your book, business and writing projects by letting them guide you.
People come to me about their creative projects: books, business blogs, articles, emails, sales pages, marketing launches, websites, posts, and videos.
Often, they meet with me because they have been struggling. They have a lot of questions and choices to sort through in order to make progress for their book or business.
Confused, and stuck between different actions that they can take, they start telling me about the whole tangle.
Often, the confusion is compounded because they worry about doing things the wrong way, going in the right direction, or writing the wrong thing.
If you struggle with this confusion and overwhelm, it can be a lot.
If you want to know what to do next to make progress on your nonfiction writing, marketing or business project, you have come to the right place.
Last week I was sick with a cold, but I am good now.
I saw a youtube video today that got me a bit energized, so I thought I would write to you about it.
The topic centers around ai writing generation.
I’m going to share my thoughts, and please don’t take it as shaming anyone, but I am a professional writer and I do have some feelings about it.
Actually, I think I have even stronger feelings as a READER than I do as a writer.
Which is saying something.
So let me back up and start at the beginning.
I’m planning to go on maternity leave at the end of the year.
It’s not wise as a writer, or business owner to totally disappear for weeks, or months on end.
I’m not entirely sure how long I’ll be taking off, because I haven’t had a child before, but regardless I want to be prepared.
SO I’m thinking mainly about how to prepare things like my content:
Weekly Funletters ahead of time, as well as blogposts, Linkedin Articles, Youtube videos, social media posts, etc.
It’s a lot and pretty overwhelming to think about producing en mass weeks or months ahead
AND this is all on top of the things I need to do in the present for my business, as well as–you know–preparing for a baby.
I actually realized yesterday that not everything I produce needs to be from scratch because I’ve been in business 10 years, and I have some really cool stuff already created.
I still refer to these articles with my coaching clients.
Those articles could be good to revisit because I really think they could help more people write and make progress on their projects.
I feel good about this direction.
Not This:
Here’s something that never ever occurred to me because I think it would be a terrible solution:
to use ai writing generation to produce pages and pages of stuff to email to you with minimal imput from me.
The reason being that I do not think that the result would be up to snuff, and
Originally it was titled, “This AI Writes 90% of My Content Now (Yours Can Too)”
Yikes, this one got some provocative comments in response…
“Good to know: unsubscribing.”
“I was wondering why I didn’t resonate with your content lately. Now I know.”
“I am one of your customers and you definitely lost me today.”
They might have been a bit spicy…
but reading on to different things people were saying, I realized that they have a point.
Who is Tiago?
Tiago Forte is the author of “Building a Second Brain,” a book that came out before AI generation was widely available so I’m pretty sure he wrote it himself.
That book changed my life in a big way, unlocking new ways for me to use technology to organize my ideas.
I didn’t learn everything I know about digital organization from Tiago,
a lot of it I had to learn through trial and error, and the labor over years of experimenting with technology and systems to find things that worked for me as a writer.
I’ve since developed my own system for using digital organization for ideas and writing.
But Tiago’s book definitely opened the door for me to start to explore a whole new world I didn’t know existed.
After reading, I signed up for his email list and kept an eye on everything he was creating.
Often it was super thought provoking and I would hang on to emails he sent out to ponder them further.
But sometime in the last 6 months? I don’t know… something changed.
I was finding I’d open his emails only to quickly skim them and hit delete.
It just didn’t hook me. This didn’t just happen once, it happened time and time again.
SO when he made the bold claim that he has outsourced 90% of his writing process to AI…it makes sense.
His stuff hasn’t been that great lately, I don’t know how else to put it.
And I guess this is why.
And I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
I feel like this is an important to discuss because AI is such a huge topic these days.
Everywhere I look there is a new course about using AI generation–and the thing is I’ve taken some of these courses. I’ve used it and I’ve tried.
THE RANGE
The thing is I don’t see this as black and white.
There’s a range of HOW much you can delegate writing to AI.
A little bit:
-to proofread your writing spelling and grammer (such as using Grammerly, or Google Doc’s ability to spellcheck)
-using ai to transcribe audio materials into written version of your original words (I like Otter.ai for this.)
A little bit more:
-a conversation partner to bounce ideas off of, to suggest improvements to things you have written, or to point out issues (and then you go fix them yourself).
-to analyze your writing and pull out certain elements (For example, I like to feed it a sales page I have written and then tell me what the main benefits of the offer I am selling is. Then I can decide what the strongest way to word something is and make sure it is emphasized through the piece. But I’m changing the text myself.)
A medium amount:
– coming up with title ideas
– to summarize things you have already written
– writing an introductory paragraph or specific paragraphs to insert into a longer piece you wrote
A decent amount (could result in small changes or could be a lot of changes):
– feeding it large amounts of original work like an hour long class transcript and asking it to find clips to turn into stand alone content
-feeding it large amounts of original work to remix into new formats like taking a podcast and turning it into a blogpost
A very large amount
– giving it a few sentences or guidelines for what content should be and then pushing the button to have the ai generate a whole thousand word plus essay that you edit only minimally by hand.
What Tiago was talking about doing is on the far side of the writing generation spectrum.
And that’s why I don’t like it.
Now he did imput some things…
He was supplying “style guides” and templates to the ai. These basically tell the ai what shape to spit something out into.
But he provided little of the actual substance for the essay he demonstrated making in the video, with ai doing 90% of the work.
He told it to produce an article about a book, and then uploaded a list of notable quotes from the book.
He did bold some parts of the quotes but he said he had about 10 pages of quotes he uploaded into the machine, from a book he didn’t write.
This means he hadn’t even isolated the core message from the book that he wanted the ai to focus on exactly, and why it mattered.
He didn’t add any of his own thoughts, really.
This is something he could have done without time, thought and reflection…but he didn’t want to take the time to do that.
Instead, it took a minute to push the button to produce a 3,000 word essay generated by ai that he deemed good enough.
Now, I’m not saying maybe some people would get something out of this article–
but I read Tiago’s previous work and it was really thoughtful and interesting.
THIS ISN’T IT.
This isn’t what I liked about his writing.
Ironically, Tiago’s previous writing in Building a Second Brain led to my changing my life so that it was easier for me to develop my ideas and take them to the next level in my writing through digital organization.
At the time so much of his writing and content was revolutionary for me to think on a higher level.
And now that he’s using AI, for months his writing has just been something I skim and delete.
I do not recommend letting ai do 90% of your writing.
I’m talking about doing things on the far far far side of the AI scale.
Other Issues
For the purposes of brevity, I’m not getting into the other issues with AI like the fact that it uses a ton of natural resources, has resulted in a lot of pollution and waste.
(I really wish google would just let me do a normal search by default so I’m not wasting energy using AI to look up stupid stuff online!! I want to opt INTO using AI when I want to so I can save energy when I don’t want it but anyway…)
I’m also not touching the issue where AI was trained on stolen writing taken from other people’s websites and other people’s books, without bothering to pay anyone for their work.
None of that lands super well with me, but right now I’m basically just talking about something major:
The products are not the same.
Using AI to do 90% of the writing for you is not the same as writing it yourself.
The process of writing is also a process of thinking and refining your ideas.
You get a better idea of what you are trying to say through trying to write about it.
If all you do to write is press a button, the output is going to be a more mediocre, generic and less intelligent than what you could come up with yourself given the time and effort.
And as a READER, I don’t want this crap!
I have seen my favorite sites online get filled up with annoying generic AI written articles
that drown out all the actual original and interesting articles I could be reading.
It’s made my life as a avid reader online more frustrating and less satisfying.
Please don’t outsource all your ideas to ai.
I might be ok with some use of it depending on how it is used and what the product is, but outsourcing 90% of the writing process is way, way too much. It just is filling the world with mediocre writing.
The world has enough noise!!
And you are shooting yourself in the foot because as more and more people use AI generation (which is already a lot), it all starts to sounds samey same.
It will be the people who continue to develop their ideas and skills as a writer that will end up standing out.
The entrepreneurs that continue to invest in creating original content using a chunk of their own brain will build relationships with customers more easily.
–they will seem refreshing and honest compared to the ocean of people who are just phoning it by using ai.
And that is way more trustworthy.
And one day when the AI bubble bursts…
(As I believe it will, since how can the data farms that AI relies on cost billlions in overhead and, yet, become profitable by charging you practically nothing?) In the future Chat GPT and other models may not be as cheap as they are today, and everyone who became totally dependent on them may have to pay up the wazoo or learn to do without.
Those of us who keep our heads by not overrelying on ai to produce writing that is just okay,
and instead write more, edit more, learn more, and
develop our ideas and skills as writers and creators,
WE will be stronger and brighter and more brilliant than ever in the future.
So in sum:
Here is what I am not going to do.
I’m not going to push a bunch of buttons on ai and send you a bunch of emails of stuff,
stuff, that I totally outsourced to ai and spent NO time at all writing or developing the ideas for.
Because I think using ai to write 90% of a piece of writing makes it not fun to read.
There’s no heart, no passion,
no living breathing person behind it and
I can feel something is missing.
I wouldn’t want to read it.
My time is valuable as a reader, and your time is valuable as a reader.
I have a high standard for what I think is good writing, good enough to share with you,
and baby, as a writer, I have my pride.
And P.S.
just because I often use an emdash (this punctuation: — ) does NOT mean I am using AI.
There is an awful and vicious myth that em dashes are only used by AI writing generation bots.
In fact, many human writers love an emdash.
And yet now people are contemplating not using it ever again so they don’t get accused of using AI to write.
I will just say that no matter how great and useful something is, it can still grow stale.
I got bored with my Commonbook and paper planner system recently, and wasn’t using it much…
so my solution was a refresh!
The answer for me this time is fairies:
I gave my notebook a Forest and Fairy themed visual refresher with DIY Decorations I made.
I highly recommend trying something like this if you need to get your eyes on a notebook, planner, or organizational tool and you just aren’t drawn to it.
In my video, I show you how I used some simple craft supplies to bring new life to my planner and commonplace book. Maybe it will give you ideas for something you can decorate as well.
May you find new motivation with the power of decoration!
“We see notebooks everywhere we go. But where did these indispensable implements come from? How did they revolutionize our lives? And how can using a notebook help change the way you think? In this wide-ranging history, Roland Allen reveals how the notebook became our most dependable and versatile tool for creative thinking.
He tells the notebook stories of Leonardo and Frida Kahlo, Isaac Newton and Marie Curie, and writers from Chaucer to Henry James; shows how Darwin developed his theory of evolution in tiny pocket books and Agatha Christie plotted a hundred murders in scrappy exercise books; and introduces a host of cooks, kings, sailors, fishermen, musicians, engineers, politicians, adventurers, and mathematicians, all of whom used their notebooks as a space to think—and in doing so, shaped the modern world.”
I recently finished this book and it did not disappoint.
My brain really enjoyed all the facts and storytelling,
including details about how famous thinkers, writers and people over history used paper as a way to develop their genius.
3. Activities:
going to the pool (when it’s nnot a rainy day like today)
new baby bunnies showing up outside in my courtyard
trying new recipes like gluten free pineapple upside down cake
walking outside with my husband after dinner and seeing fireflies
seeing live music with a friend of mine. (I gotta do it while I can! I’m sure I won’t be leaving the house much once I have a newborn.) We saw Beck play with the Chicago Orchestra last night.
Like I said last week, I have availability for editing clients and 1-1 writing coaching over the next several months. I expect to be on maternity leave sometime after November.
In it, I guide you through powerful exercises to overcome procrastination.
If you’ve been feeling paralyzed, stuck trying to decide between things or mentally blocked, soon you’ll get clear on what’s really important so you can make speedier progress.
Also during that coaching session, I made a huge announcement–
I’m going to have a baby this winter!
By the end of December, I should be holding my future child.
This means that if you’ve ever wanted to work with me, now is the perfect time!
Right now, I have the capacity to help more clients to make faster progress writing and creating for your book or business
–via 1-1 coaching or editing services.
So if you want help with your writing, with my editing or coaching, don’t wait long!
My schedule will get more limited by the end of the year and the beginning of 2026. I intend to take a maternity leave and will announce those details as we get closer.
Overcome Procrastination
Are you feeling like it’s difficult to make any progress?
Watch this video. You’ll get coaching to:
-Feel more motivated to get some writing done for your book or business.
-Overcome procrastination and make progress because you know what’s really important.
Full of joys and excitement, connecting with friends, watching fireflies dance at night.
But also some lows, as I’ve been worried about a friend of mine who is really ill.
Been pouring a lot into my work and creativity lately.
Here are all the fun things I have to share this week, with more coming soon 🙂
Today:
an invite to my free live event this Friday
fun Summer writing prompts I found on Pinterest
my new article “Writing Consistently isn’t a Real Goal”
1. Free Event this Friday
Free virtual writing cowork Friday July 11
-If you want to feel more motivated to get some writing done for your book or business, come join!
-You’ll also be able to ask me questions about your writing, nonfiction book, or business marketing projects.
Mark your calendar for Friday, July 11!
Lasting two hours from
11 AM-1 PM Eastern, or
8AM-10 AM Pacific
Come drop in for a free coaching and & cowork session.
You can work on your editing, writing, creating, marketing, and idea organizing.
It is free!
Get the inspiration or answers you need for your book or business, and then get to work!
Words from our last free event:
“It was good to co-work with you and the group today. I feel like I made so much progress just writing this one email and, of course, sharing about our life and work. Amazing. Have a great rest of your week.” – Uli
it’s such a difficult time for America as a country right now as the news has been filled with upsetting things going on. My heart is out to everyone in my community who is feeling that.
AND I am so proud of so many Americans I know for their heart, their spirit, and their fire.
To help others. To make a difference. To be part of a better future.
That’s what I have to stay focused on these days, and that is the country that I love and recognize.
Today I’d like to share a little story for everyone interested in writing…
And perhaps I will see you soon in the upcoming writing cowork & coaching session next Friday, July 11?
Scroll down for more information about how to join for FREE.
A long time ago I began to dream of being a writer, and it was a dream that never left me.
Although now, years later, I have achieved that dream and it has become my work to help other people to write for their books and websites, it’s still all too easy for me to lose touch with the things that brought me to writing in the first place.
For me it is about self love, and finding myself in the process of writing things.
Whether it is fiction or nonfiction, if I didn’t love myself and think my voice was valuable, then I wouldn’t bother to do any of this.
That is why I try to get other people hooked on writing.
There are so many fears that keep people from writing. I know. I have been through it over these past decades of being a writer. It doesn’t really end but I find ways around them.
I could easily write and not enjoy it because of comparison, and trying to be like someone else. It is so easy to compare to the millions of books and writers I see and read, but the thing is that I only see the outside of the process.
Some of those writers have budgets and teams that I can only dream of. Some authors literally do nothing but write, or went to college for it and had someone pay for that, etc. Or they pay ghostwriters and editors to spend years polishing it to perfection.
There is no reason to compare because it’s not a fair playing field to do that.
I don’t even want to compare to myself in the past because I am different than I used to be. I am a new person.
I think at the heart of comparison is that my greatest fear is that I will be like everybody else: normal.
Rather than special. A future Leonardo DaVinci of whatever I write…
These sorts of expectations just aren’t helpful.
I am coming to accept we are pretty much all the same deep down. Including moi.
The point of editing isn’t to have a perfect draft that will rival the greatest writers or artists that have ever lived.
The point for me is to find fun and meaning writing those words, and to have it be a valuable process for myself, the one going through it.
Any little bit of time that I can grab to write is worthwhile. Writing is a beautiful thing to me.
I give myself time to write and, honestly, it is all that keeps me sane.
That time is a gift to myself out of love. It doesn’t matter how long I take to write or what comes out of it. It is for me.
If you’re feeling stuck on your writing, go back to basics, and try writing something that you would enjoy reading, or something that just feels good to get out on paper. Start there and make it pleasurable for YOU first.
Free virtual writing cowork coming soon
-If you want to feel more motivated to get some writing done for your book or business, come join!
-You’ll also be able to ask me questions about your writing, nonfiction book, or business marketing projects.
Mark your calendar for Friday, July 11!
Lasting two hours from
11 AM-1 PM Eastern, or
8AM-10 AM Pacific
Come drop in for a free coaching and & cowork session.
You can work on your editing, writing, creating, marketing, and idea organizing.
It is free!
Get the inspiration or answers you need for your book or business, and then get to work!
Words from our last free event:
“It was good to co-work with you and the group today. I feel like I made so much progress just writing this one email and, of course, sharing about our life and work. Amazing. Have a great rest of your week.” – Uli
Can I come for just part of it, if I have to leave?
That’s fine! Yes, just pop in for a bit.
If you have a question, and cannot attend in full:
consider sending me the question in advance via email or putting it in the chat during the session and perhaps I can record my answer even if you have to leave before I answer it.
Can I come late?
Absolutely, yes, just please make sure you are muted if we are working quietly.
Is there a recording if I can’t make it?
Yes and no: I might record parts where I am teaching or answering an important question. But the part where we are quietly working? Nah. Probably not.
Do I have to talk or be on camera?
Nope. You can just hang out if you want.
Can I invite a friend?
Yes! Absolutely, I run a small editing and writing coaching business and, thus, I love being referred to others and meeting new people.
This week my husband had his wisdom teeth out and I’ve been the helpful person to drive him around and deliver all the ice cream and soup he needs.
It’s another confirmation of a lesson I’ve learned with time:
life is optimal when we take turns leaning on each other. The goal isn’t to be independent, solo individuals doing it all alone. It’s connection.
Also I recently picked up the book “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals,” by Oliver Burkeman.
I love it so much that I’m going to share some thoughts on what it has stirred up in me even though I’m just a small fraction into it.
“The problem with trying to make time for everything that feels important–or just for enough of what feels important–is that you definitely never will.
The reason isn’t that you haven’t yet discovered the right time management tricks or applied sufficient effort, or that you need to start getting up earlier, or that you’re generally useless.
It’s that the underlying assumption is unwarranted: there’s no reason to believe you’ll ever feel “on top of things,” or make time for everything that matters, simply by getting more done.”
Rather than being the typical time management book advising me to squeeze everything possible from all seconds of the day,
this one gives an unexpected message:
the key is to finally accept there will not be enough time to do it all.
Only from this acceptance can you really deal adequately with the time you have.
Only from this place can you see it as wise to step off a hamster wheel that takes you away from what matters most to you.
Although counter-intuitive, accepting limitations leads to more freedom and satisfaction with the time you have.
Fighting it, thinking you are just one new planner or productivity tip away from optimizing all your time, actually creates a greater feeling of time slipping away from you, dangerously out of your control.
I love this book and its message.
It’s been affirming for me and validates many lessons I’ve learned over the past few years.
If you’ve been following me for some time, you may have heard me talking about my desire to make the most out of all of my journals.
It’s led some very cool realizations.
I started digitally archiving every idea and journal entry so that they aren’t lost on a shelf or forgotten with time.
Why do I care?
Because I used to be one of those people that would pick up an old notebook and think,
“This idea is great, why did I not do anything with it over these past years?”
Or upon discovering old notes, I’d notice that I simply keep relearning the same lessons over and over,
without actually integrating them or changing my behavior to match. I was forgetting a lot.
Anyway, since I began to keep a digital archive of my journals in a free program called Obsidian, I figured out ways to keep track of these ideas better.
And I also began to make unexpected connections between entries occurring over the weeks, months, and years.
One theme that continued to pop up was what I began to call my relationship with time.
My Relationship with Time
This relationship with time seemed to cause me a lot of feelings:
-anxiety that I wasn’t doing enough and time was running out,
-stress and urgency that something needed to be figured out quickly,
-overwhelm from feeling that there was so much to do in so little time that I would be immobilized from acting or deciding on next steps at all.
I saw it over and over again and began to note the instances.
By doing so, I could review this theme over time and see the patterns occurring again and again and again.
((Sidenote: If you are interested in how to digitize your notes and make connections like this,
I’m hoping to get a self study course out soon that will teach my methods of digital organization!))
What is really interesting to me is that I have rarely ever heard anyone talk about this “relationship with time.”
It’s always funny to me though when I discover something in isolation.
I can’t unsee it once I see it. After I make connections it seems so obvious, surely someone else could figure it out, too.
The book Four Thousand Weeks is one of the first that specifically addresses it, which is why it feels like a drink of iced water on a hot day.
Why does it matter?
Looking at something as a relationship or a dynamic adds additional richness to how you can understand it.
I’ve heard people talk about their relationship with their body or body image, for instance.
Usually people use this to mean that this relationship is something separate from the body itself.
Similarly a relationship to time is something separate from time itself.
It has ebbs and flows of its own.
When I feel a sense of urgency, the idea that there is a ticking clock feels like a fact to me. Almost like a bear is running towards me and I better move or else.
And, yet, maybe this is an illusion.
Similarly, someone experiencing a toxic body image can look in the mirror and see body flaws that don’t even exist in real life.
Until that person takes a step back enough to realize that their perception may be part of a toxic relationship they’ve developed with their body,
they can continue life without ever questioning the thoughts about their body that cause them so much pain.
They can confuse their relationship with their body, with the body, itself.
Similarly, until I began to step back and understand that my relationship with time and perception of it exist separately from time,
and that they need to be questioned,
I was operating on autopilot under the anxiety that I wasn’t going quickly enough or getting enough done.
It was this noticing of my relationship of time across my journals, along with the feelings I wrote about it causing (anxiety, stress, crippling overwhelm)
that made me realize I needed a change.
These patterns had been running me ragged, on and off, for decades.
It snuck into everything I did: my writing goals, my business, and also my personal life.
This toxic dynamic stole satisfaction from nearly everything
because no matter what I did, there was always more to do (and soon).
To navigate life, I did learn to manage some of these feelings on a daily basis.
I’d decide a particular thing wasn’t so urgent and I should prioritize something else, or just try to calm my stress down that day so I could get back to work.
But the feelings would pop back up about something else.
I managed the feelings so that I could function, but without truly addressing the underlying premise of the relationship itself that was running in me as a long term pattern.
A Big Change
Losing my father in 2021 increased my anxiety so much so that thinking about a deadline could make my heart pound so much I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.
And when I operated on that urgency, my nervous system was so dysregulated I would not be thinking right.
Then I would try to something quickly, and screw it up so badly it usually took me more time in the end to unravel the knots rushing had created.
It provided the perfect opportunity to go easier on myself.
Basically there was no other sane option.
Since then I developed some new mindsets to lean into, to reshape my relationship with time.
Lately, slow but steady has been my mantra.
As is, going at my own pace.
Also, taking my time.
I’ve come to create a new meaning for that phrase, “take my time.”
Usually, it means going at a slower pace, but I like to think about it as grabbing my time for myself when I need it or want it. Like grabbing it with my hands.
Take that slow morning coffee.
Take that walk.
Take that opportunity for peace.
This time is mine first, not anyone else’s.
At the end of the day, this is my life, and I don’t want to spend all of it spinning and spinning.
I’m still human, still a work in progress, still figuring it out.
But I’m happy to say I have found a better kind of life than I used to have. Thank goodness. I have a better relationship with time and productivity that is much less toxic.
Here’s another quote from Four Thousand Weeks to cap off this reflection:
“We’re often obliged to find ways to cram more into the same amount of time, even if we end up feeling busier as a result….
So I don’t mean to imply that once you grasp what’s going on here, you’ll magically never feel busy again.
But the choice you can make is to stop believing you’ll ever solve the challenge of busyness by cramming more in, because that just makes matters worse.
And once you stop investing in the idea that you might one day achieve peace of mind that way,
it becomes easier to find piece of mind in the present, in the midst of overwhelming demands,
because you’re no longer making your peace of mind dependent on dealing with all the demands. …
You begin to grasp that when there’s too much to do, and there always will be,
the only route to psychological freedom is to let go of the limit-denying fantasy of getting it all done and instead focus on doing a few things that count.”
Did you see my recent email where I talked about the dangers of consistency?
If you need help with your book or business writing:
I help people write for your book or business. I take this attitude of patience and “slow but steady” into my coaching and editing work that I do with people.
Many of my clients have found this soothing and helpful to making faster progress in the long run on the things that really matter.
It’s also permission to follow the fire of your creativity and the life force that wants you to go outside, take a breath, be a human being not a human doing.
It’s possible to live a good life while being a writer, creator or entrepreneur…
Maybe I should rename my coaching package from being called “Rapid Progress” to something else? What do you think? Any ideas?
Or not…
Ironically, being more patient with myself has resulted in fewer instances of time-based anxiety and crippingly overwhelm.
As a result, I am making progress on the things that really matter, and wasting less time on things that don’t matter so I can enjoy more of my life.
It still feels like Rapid Progress…just not as frantic or stressful.
I’ll have to chew on that.
…
Free virtual writing cowork coming soon
-If you want to feel more motivated to get some writing, creating or work done, come join!
-You’ll also be able to ask me questions about your writing, nonfiction book, or business marketing projects.
Mark your calendar for Friday, July 11!
Lasting two hours from
11 AM-1 PM Eastern, or
8AM-10 AM Pacific
Come and stay for a while, or hop in during the middle and join us.
You can work on your editing, writing, creating, marketing, idea organizing.
It is free!
Get the inspiration or answers you need for your book or business, and then get to work!
You can ask me questions about writing, marketing, organizing your ideas, a course you bought from me, and more during the Q&A section.
And of course, there will be some friendly chat!
Then, during the coworking time we will work on our projects independently.
Words from our last free event:
“It was good to co-work with you and the group today. I feel like I made so much progress just writing this one email and, of course, sharing about our life and work. Amazing. Have a great rest of your week.” – Uli
Can I come for just part of it, if I have to leave?
That’s fine! Yes, just pop in for a bit.
If you have a question, and cannot attend in full:
consider sending me the question in advance via email or putting it in the chat during the session and perhaps I can record my answer even if you have to leave before I answer it.
Can I come late?
Absolutely, yes, just please make sure you are muted if we are working quietly.
Is there a recording if I can’t make it?
Yes and no: I might record parts where I am teaching or answering an important question. But the part where we are quietly working? Nah. Probably not.
Do I have to talk or be on camera?
Nope. You can just hang out if you want.
Can I invite a friend?
Yes! Absolutely, I run a small editing and writing coaching business and, thus, I love being referred to others and meeting new people.
