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On AI Writing, You May Disagree

🦋 💜 🌿 Hi! How are you?

Last week I was sick with a cold, but I am good now.

I saw a youtube video today that got me a bit energized, so I thought I would write to you about it.

The topic centers around ai writing generation.

I’m going to share my thoughts, and please don’t take it as shaming anyone, but I am a professional writer and I do have some feelings about it.

Actually, I think I have even stronger feelings as a READER than I do as a writer.

Which is saying something.

So let me back up and start at the beginning.

I’m planning to go on maternity leave at the end of the year.

It’s not wise as a writer, or business owner to totally disappear for weeks, or months on end.

I’m not entirely sure how long I’ll be taking off, because I haven’t had a child before, but regardless I want to be prepared.

SO I’m thinking mainly about how to prepare things like my content:

Weekly Funletters ahead of time, as well as blogposts, Linkedin Articles, Youtube videos, social media posts, etc.

It’s a lot and pretty overwhelming to think about producing en mass weeks or months ahead

AND this is all on top of the things I need to do in the present for my business, as well as–you know–preparing for a baby.

I actually realized yesterday that not everything I produce needs to be from scratch because I’ve been in business 10 years, and I have some really cool stuff already created.

I still refer to these articles with my coaching clients.

Those articles could be good to revisit because I really think they could help more people write and make progress on their projects.

I feel good about this direction.

Not This:

Here’s something that never ever occurred to me because I think it would be a terrible solution:

to use ai writing generation to produce pages and pages of stuff to email to you with minimal imput from me.

The reason being that I do not think that the result would be up to snuff, and

it would actually cause more harm than good.

This brings us to a video I saw recently.

​”I Trained AI to Write Like Me–Here’s How” ​ by Tiago Forte

Originally it was titled, “This AI Writes 90% of My Content Now (Yours Can Too)”

Yikes, this one got some provocative comments in response…

“Good to know: unsubscribing.”

“I was wondering why I didn’t resonate with your content lately. Now I know.”

“I am one of your customers and you definitely lost me today.”

They might have been a bit spicy…

but reading on to different things people were saying, I realized that they have a point.

Who is Tiago?

Tiago Forte is the author of “Building a Second Brain,” a book that came out before AI generation was widely available so I’m pretty sure he wrote it himself.

That book changed my life in a big way, unlocking new ways for me to use technology to organize my ideas.

I didn’t learn everything I know about digital organization from Tiago,

a lot of it I had to learn through trial and error, and the labor over years of experimenting with technology and systems to find things that worked for me as a writer.

I’ve since developed my own system for using digital organization for ideas and writing.

But Tiago’s book definitely opened the door for me to start to explore a whole new world I didn’t know existed.

After reading, I signed up for his email list and kept an eye on everything he was creating.

Often it was super thought provoking and I would hang on to emails he sent out to ponder them further.

But sometime in the last 6 months? I don’t know… something changed.

I was finding I’d open his emails only to quickly skim them and hit delete.

It just didn’t hook me. This didn’t just happen once, it happened time and time again.

SO when he made the bold claim that he has outsourced 90% of his writing process to AI…it makes sense.

His stuff hasn’t been that great lately, I don’t know how else to put it.

And I guess this is why.

And I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

I feel like this is an important to discuss because AI is such a huge topic these days.

Everywhere I look there is a new course about using AI generation–and the thing is I’ve taken some of these courses. I’ve used it and I’ve tried.

THE RANGE

The thing is I don’t see this as black and white.

There’s a range of HOW much you can delegate writing to AI.

A little bit:

-to proofread your writing spelling and grammer (such as using Grammerly, or Google Doc’s ability to spellcheck)

-using ai to transcribe audio materials into written version of your original words (I like Otter.ai for this.)

A little bit more:

-a conversation partner to bounce ideas off of, to suggest improvements to things you have written, or to point out issues (and then you go fix them yourself).

-to analyze your writing and pull out certain elements (For example, I like to feed it a sales page I have written and then tell me what the main benefits of the offer I am selling is. Then I can decide what the strongest way to word something is and make sure it is emphasized through the piece. But I’m changing the text myself.)

A medium amount:

– coming up with title ideas

– to summarize things you have already written

– writing an introductory paragraph or specific paragraphs to insert into a longer piece you wrote

A decent amount (could result in small changes or could be a lot of changes):

– feeding it large amounts of original work like an hour long class transcript and asking it to find clips to turn into stand alone content

-feeding it large amounts of original work to remix into new formats like taking a podcast and turning it into a blogpost

A very large amount

– giving it a few sentences or guidelines for what content should be and then pushing the button to have the ai generate a whole thousand word plus essay that you edit only minimally by hand.

What Tiago was talking about doing is on the far side of the writing generation spectrum.

And that’s why I don’t like it.

Now he did imput some things…

He was supplying “style guides” and templates to the ai. These basically tell the ai what shape to spit something out into.

But he provided little of the actual substance for the essay he demonstrated making in the video, with ai doing 90% of the work.

He told it to produce an article about a book, and then uploaded a list of notable quotes from the book.

He did bold some parts of the quotes but he said he had about 10 pages of quotes he uploaded into the machine, from a book he didn’t write.

This means he hadn’t even isolated the core message from the book that he wanted the ai to focus on exactly, and why it mattered.

He didn’t add any of his own thoughts, really.

This is something he could have done without time, thought and reflection…but he didn’t want to take the time to do that.

Instead, it took a minute to push the button to produce a 3,000 word essay generated by ai that he deemed good enough.

Now, I’m not saying maybe some people would get something out of this article–

but I read Tiago’s previous work and it was really thoughtful and interesting.

THIS ISN’T IT.

This isn’t what I liked about his writing.

Ironically, Tiago’s previous writing in Building a Second Brain led to my changing my life so that it was easier for me to develop my ideas and take them to the next level in my writing through digital organization.

At the time so much of his writing and content was revolutionary for me to think on a higher level.

And now that he’s using AI, for months his writing has just been something I skim and delete.

I do not recommend letting ai do 90% of your writing.

I’m talking about doing things on the far far far side of the AI scale.

Other Issues

For the purposes of brevity, I’m not getting into the other issues with AI like the fact that it uses a ton of natural resources, has resulted in a lot of pollution and waste.

(I really wish google would just let me do a normal search by default so I’m not wasting energy using AI to look up stupid stuff online!! I want to opt INTO using AI when I want to so I can save energy when I don’t want it but anyway…)

I’m also not touching the issue where AI was trained on stolen writing taken from other people’s websites and other people’s books, without bothering to pay anyone for their work.

None of that lands super well with me, but right now I’m basically just talking about something major:

The products are not the same.

Using AI to do 90% of the writing for you is not the same as writing it yourself.

The process of writing is also a process of thinking and refining your ideas.

You get a better idea of what you are trying to say through trying to write about it.

If all you do to write is press a button, the output is going to be a more mediocre, generic and less intelligent than what you could come up with yourself given the time and effort.

And as a READER, I don’t want this crap!

I have seen my favorite sites online get filled up with annoying generic AI written articles

that drown out all the actual original and interesting articles I could be reading.

It’s made my life as a avid reader online more frustrating and less satisfying.

Please don’t outsource all your ideas to ai.

I might be ok with some use of it depending on how it is used and what the product is, but outsourcing 90% of the writing process is way, way too much. It just is filling the world with mediocre writing.

The world has enough noise!!

And you are shooting yourself in the foot because as more and more people use AI generation (which is already a lot), it all starts to sounds samey same.

It will be the people who continue to develop their ideas and skills as a writer that will end up standing out.

The entrepreneurs that continue to invest in creating original content using a chunk of their own brain will build relationships with customers more easily.

–they will seem refreshing and honest compared to the ocean of people who are just phoning it by using ai.

And that is way more trustworthy.

And one day when the AI bubble bursts…

(As I believe it will, since how can the data farms that AI relies on cost billlions in overhead and, yet, become profitable by charging you practically nothing?) In the future Chat GPT and other models may not be as cheap as they are today, and everyone who became totally dependent on them may have to pay up the wazoo or learn to do without.

Those of us who keep our heads by not overrelying on ai to produce writing that is just okay,

and instead write more, edit more, learn more, and

develop our ideas and skills as writers and creators,

WE will be stronger and brighter and more brilliant than ever in the future.

So in sum:

Here is what I am not going to do.

I’m not going to push a bunch of buttons on ai and send you a bunch of emails of stuff,

stuff, that I totally outsourced to ai and spent NO time at all writing or developing the ideas for.

Because I think using ai to write 90% of a piece of writing makes it not fun to read.

There’s no heart, no passion,

no living breathing person behind it and

I can feel something is missing.

I wouldn’t want to read it.

My time is valuable as a reader, and your time is valuable as a reader.

I have a high standard for what I think is good writing, good enough to share with you,

and baby, as a writer, I have my pride.

And P.S.

just because I often use an emdash (this punctuation: — ) does NOT mean I am using AI.

There is an awful and vicious myth that em dashes are only used by AI writing generation bots.

In fact, many human writers love an emdash.

And yet now people are contemplating not using it ever again so they don’t get accused of using AI to write.

But I will never stop using it!

Justice for the em dash!

VIVA LA EM DASH.

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Birthday and Deathday Reflections

🦋 💜 🌿 Hi! How are you?

I am trying to shake a sore throat. Hopefully, it goes away soon.

Feeling a little emotional today. Which makes sense…

August always begins dramatically for me –

the 8th is my bday, while

the 6th is my dad’s death day.

Because these dates have come together in the same week for me ever since I turned 34, they will always be tied together in a bittersweet way.

I’ll be 38 this week, and, of course, I still miss my dad. He was my only parent growing up because my mom died when I was three.

Creating in Darkness

If you haven’t felt deep grief for a loved one who went too soon, it’s nothing I can describe to you in words.

I don’t believe that losing a loved one has a silver lining.

But I think the human spirit is so incredibly bright that it can keep burning and making beauty no matter what.

Even in the most difficult times, or the darkest of days.

​I made this video after my dad’s first death anniversary, and it remains one of the best things I have ever created. ​

In it, I share about things I learned about grief, myself, and the world. How to survive bad things, and get up out of bed anyway.

Growth & Evolution

While grieving and missing my dad, I have changed a lot and grown these past few years. I’ve become a new version of myself.

I grew out my hair from the pixie cut I had for a decade.

I got married, and now I am having a baby.

I will keep on evolving, but I don’t think I’ll ever go back to who I was.

And that’s okay, because who I am today isn’t someone I became passively as a result of my experiences.

–This transformation inside and out has been my choice, an intentional creative process I decided to undergo.

I knew a change in my identity was inevitable, anyway, so I decided to grab the wheel and steer towards who I wanted to be.

Specifically, over the past year, I’ve had certain goals for myself.

My Goal For Last Year

What I wanted to address over the last year was my lack of optimism and motivation.

Because my dad’s death made me distrust the universe.

It wasn’t the first bad thing that happened in my life so it felt like the last straw.

I lost hope that good things were possible for me.

It didn’t matter if I was a good person or not, or if I worked hard.

Some dumb shit was just going to happen to ruin my life anyway.

(Like my dad getting pancreatic cancer and dying suddenly, even though otherwise he was in the best shape of his life.)

Basically, how I felt deep down was that there was no real point in trying to achieve anything good in life, because it’s just a bad universe.

Bad things happen to good people. There’s nothing I can do about a lot of things that suck in life.

And yet…

A bit over a year ago, I decided I was tired of feeling that way.

And of letting it stop me from trying to make anything about my life better.

I figured that I had a choice:

I could either be right

that there was no point in hoping for a better life or trying for it

or I could be happy.

I could be right, or I could be happy, but I couldn’t be both.

So I decided I’d rather be happy.

The Transformation

A year ago, if I measured how optimistic I was feeling on a scale of 1-10,

on an average day, I was probably around a 4.

After I decided to work on being optimistic,

I tried different tools to raise that number.

I started tracking it daily.

After 30 days, it was up to a 6.

That number began to rise, and then rise a little more.

Now, a year later, my optimism is around an 8 out of 10 most days.

Conclusion

I’ve come a long way in a relatively short time.

Life isn’t perfect.

The world, and things I experience closer to home, still have problems.

But I feel a little more optimistic about things in general.

Specifically, I am optimistic about my slice of things.

I’m motivated to take action in my own life and work to make things better.

And I trust myself, and am optimistic that I will be able to handle whatever happens.

Which is the thing that really matters.

By the way…

I put everything that worked for me into a Toolkit so you can feel more optimism in 30 days or less.

If you are on a journey to find the hope, and motivation to take action on your goals,

explore the 30 Day Optimism Toolkit to get started today.

Thanks for reading

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Beat Boredom the Fairy Way

🦋 💜 🌿 Hi! How are you?

Thank you to everyone for your support after I announced the big news last week!

Having a baby on the way is exciting, and a little daunting. I appreciate all the good vibes!

Today I want to share a new video + recommendations of things I am enjoying right now

New Video


You may know that I have a paper commonplace book that I use to help me stay motivated and FIRED UP to work on my long term goals.

I love using digital tools daily to organize my thoughts but I also love paper notebooks, as well.

​Rather than wax poetic here about commonplace books and paper journals (like I do in this podcast) ​and how much I love them and why they matter and what you can get out of them as a writer, entrepreneur or human being…

I will just say that no matter how great and useful something is, it can still grow stale.

I got bored with my Commonbook and paper planner system recently, and wasn’t using it much…

so my solution was a refresh!

The answer for me this time is fairies:

I gave my notebook a Forest and Fairy themed visual refresher with DIY Decorations I made.

I highly recommend trying something like this if you need to get your eyes on a notebook, planner, or organizational tool and you just aren’t drawn to it.

In my video, I show you how I used some simple craft supplies to bring new life to my planner and commonplace book. Maybe it will give you ideas for something you can decorate as well.

May you find new motivation with the power of decoration!

Decorate with me by watching the new video here

Things I am Enjoying:

  1. Video Game: ​Palia​

This is a new cozy game I have been playing this week. I run around this fantasy landscape gathering supplies so I can make and cook things.

It’s relaxing and I like the aesthetic. Also…It is free!

2. Book: ​The Notebook: A History of Thinking on Paper​

by Roland Allen

Description:

“We see notebooks everywhere we go. But where did these indispensable implements come from? How did they revolutionize our lives? And how can using a notebook help change the way you think? In this wide-ranging history, Roland Allen reveals how the notebook became our most dependable and versatile tool for creative thinking.

He tells the notebook stories of Leonardo and Frida Kahlo, Isaac Newton and Marie Curie, and writers from Chaucer to Henry James; shows how Darwin developed his theory of evolution in tiny pocket books and Agatha Christie plotted a hundred murders in scrappy exercise books; and introduces a host of cooks, kings, sailors, fishermen, musicians, engineers, politicians, adventurers, and mathematicians, all of whom used their notebooks as a space to think—and in doing so, shaped the modern world.”

I recently finished this book and it did not disappoint.

My brain really enjoyed all the facts and storytelling,

including details about how famous thinkers, writers and people over history used paper as a way to develop their genius.

3. Activities:

  • going to the pool (when it’s nnot a rainy day like today)
  • new baby bunnies showing up outside in my courtyard
  • trying new recipes like gluten free pineapple upside down cake
  • walking outside with my husband after dinner and seeing fireflies
  • seeing live music with a friend of mine. (I gotta do it while I can! I’m sure I won’t be leaving the house much once I have a newborn.) We saw Beck play with the Chicago Orchestra last night.

Like I said last week, I have availability for editing clients and 1-1 writing coaching over the next several months. I expect to be on maternity leave sometime after November.

Contact me if you’d like to talk about your writing for your book or business and how I can help.

Hope you are enjoying this summer!

Thanks for reading

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Overcoming Procrastination

If you need a boost of energy to help you overcome procrastination & make progress:

​Check out this clip from my live coaching session last week.​

In it, I guide you through powerful exercises to overcome procrastination.

If you’ve been feeling paralyzed, stuck trying to decide between things or mentally blocked, soon you’ll get clear on what’s really important so you can make speedier progress.

Also during that coaching session, I made a huge announcement–

I’m going to have a baby this winter!

By the end of December, I should be holding my future child.

This means that if you’ve ever wanted to work with me, now is the perfect time!

Right now, I have the capacity to help more clients to make faster progress writing and creating for your book or business

–via 1-1 coaching or editing services.

So if you want help with your writing, with my editing or coaching, don’t wait long!

Contact me now and let me know that you are interested in working with me.

My schedule will get more limited by the end of the year and the beginning of 2026. I intend to take a maternity leave and will announce those details as we get closer.

Overcome Procrastination

Are you feeling like it’s difficult to make any progress?

Watch this video. You’ll get coaching to:

-Feel more motivated to get some writing done for your book or business.

-Overcome procrastination and make progress because you know what’s really important.

Watch below or click here to overcome procrastination & make faster progress now

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All The Fun Things

🦋 💜 🌿 How are you doing?

It’s been an up and down kind of week for me!

Full of joys and excitement, connecting with friends, watching fireflies dance at night.

But also some lows, as I’ve been worried about a friend of mine who is really ill.

Been pouring a lot into my work and creativity lately.

Here are all the fun things I have to share this week, with more coming soon 🙂

Today:

  • an invite to my free live event this Friday
  • fun Summer writing prompts I found on Pinterest
  • my new article “Writing Consistently isn’t a Real Goal”

1. Free Event this Friday

Free virtual writing cowork Friday July 11

-If you want to feel more motivated to get some writing done for your book or business, come join!

-You’ll also be able to ask me questions about your writing, nonfiction book, or business marketing projects.

Mark your calendar for Friday, July 11!

Lasting two hours from

11 AM-1 PM Eastern, or

8AM-10 AM Pacific

Come drop in for a free coaching and & cowork session.

You can work on your editing, writing, creating, marketing, and idea organizing.

It is free!

Get the inspiration or answers you need for your book or business, and then get to work!

Words from our last free event:

“It was good to co-work with you and the group today. I feel like I made so much progress just writing this one email and, of course, sharing about our life and work. Amazing. Have a great rest of your week.” – Uli

Register for our free cowork session on zoom here

2. Fun Summer Writing Prompts

I saw these prompts on Pinterest

and they looked so fun I thought I might give some a try!

​Source​

Do any of these prompts look good to you?

Let me know if try any.

3. New Article Out

My new article is on Linkedin.

You might remember my rant about Consistency that I put into an email a few weeks ago.

Well, I was still feeling like the world needs to know what I really think about it.

​Read on if you wonder why I say, “Writing Consistently isn’t a Real Goal.”​

Thanks for reading

P.S. Maybe I’ll see you for the live event on Friday?

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A Dream That Never Left Me

🦋 💜 🌿 Hi!

How is life treating you?

To those who celebrate, happy fourth of July –

it’s such a difficult time for America as a country right now as the news has been filled with upsetting things going on. My heart is out to everyone in my community who is feeling that.

AND I am so proud of so many Americans I know for their heart, their spirit, and their fire.

To help others. To make a difference. To be part of a better future.

That’s what I have to stay focused on these days, and that is the country that I love and recognize.

Today I’d like to share a little story for everyone interested in writing…

And perhaps I will see you soon in the upcoming writing cowork & coaching session next Friday, July 11?

Scroll down for more information about how to join for FREE.

A long time ago I began to dream of being a writer, and it was a dream that never left me.

Although now, years later, I have achieved that dream and it has become my work to help other people to write for their books and websites, it’s still all too easy for me to lose touch with the things that brought me to writing in the first place.

For me it is about self love, and finding myself in the process of writing things.

Whether it is fiction or nonfiction, if I didn’t love myself and think my voice was valuable, then I wouldn’t bother to do any of this.

That is why I try to get other people hooked on writing.

There are so many fears that keep people from writing. I know. I have been through it over these past decades of being a writer. It doesn’t really end but I find ways around them.

I could easily write and not enjoy it because of comparison, and trying to be like someone else. It is so easy to compare to the millions of books and writers I see and read, but the thing is that I only see the outside of the process.

Some of those writers have budgets and teams that I can only dream of. Some authors literally do nothing but write, or went to college for it and had someone pay for that, etc. Or they pay ghostwriters and editors to spend years polishing it to perfection.

There is no reason to compare because it’s not a fair playing field to do that.

I don’t even want to compare to myself in the past because I am different than I used to be. I am a new person.

I think at the heart of comparison is that my greatest fear is that I will be like everybody else: normal.

Rather than special. A future Leonardo DaVinci of whatever I write…

These sorts of expectations just aren’t helpful.

I am coming to accept we are pretty much all the same deep down. Including moi.

The point of editing isn’t to have a perfect draft that will rival the greatest writers or artists that have ever lived.

The point for me is to find fun and meaning writing those words, and to have it be a valuable process for myself, the one going through it.

Any little bit of time that I can grab to write is worthwhile. Writing is a beautiful thing to me.

I give myself time to write and, honestly, it is all that keeps me sane.

That time is a gift to myself out of love. It doesn’t matter how long I take to write or what comes out of it. It is for me.

If you’re feeling stuck on your writing, go back to basics, and try writing something that you would enjoy reading, or something that just feels good to get out on paper. Start there and make it pleasurable for YOU first.

Free virtual writing cowork coming soon

-If you want to feel more motivated to get some writing done for your book or business, come join!

-You’ll also be able to ask me questions about your writing, nonfiction book, or business marketing projects.

Mark your calendar for Friday, July 11!

Lasting two hours from

11 AM-1 PM Eastern, or

8AM-10 AM Pacific

Come drop in for a free coaching and & cowork session.

You can work on your editing, writing, creating, marketing, and idea organizing.

It is free!

Get the inspiration or answers you need for your book or business, and then get to work!

Words from our last free event:

“It was good to co-work with you and the group today. I feel like I made so much progress just writing this one email and, of course, sharing about our life and work. Amazing. Have a great rest of your week.” – Uli

How do I sign up?

Register for our free cowork session on zoom here

FAQS:

Can I come for just part of it, if I have to leave?

That’s fine! Yes, just pop in for a bit.

If you have a question, and cannot attend in full:

consider sending me the question in advance via email or putting it in the chat during the session and perhaps I can record my answer even if you have to leave before I answer it.

Can I come late?

Absolutely, yes, just please make sure you are muted if we are working quietly.

Is there a recording if I can’t make it?

Yes and no: I might record parts where I am teaching or answering an important question. But the part where we are quietly working? Nah. Probably not.

Do I have to talk or be on camera?

Nope. You can just hang out if you want.

Can I invite a friend?

Yes! Absolutely, I run a small editing and writing coaching business and, thus, I love being referred to others and meeting new people.

Register for our free cowork session on zoom here

Thanks for reading

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Can Productivity be Toxic?

🦋 💜 🌿 Hi!

How is life treating you?

This week my husband had his wisdom teeth out and I’ve been the helpful person to drive him around and deliver all the ice cream and soup he needs.

It’s another confirmation of a lesson I’ve learned with time:

life is optimal when we take turns leaning on each other. The goal isn’t to be independent, solo individuals doing it all alone. It’s connection.

Also I recently picked up the book “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals,” by Oliver Burkeman.

I love it so much that I’m going to share some thoughts on what it has stirred up in me even though I’m just a small fraction into it.

“The problem with trying to make time for everything that feels important–or just for enough of what feels important–is that you definitely never will.

The reason isn’t that you haven’t yet discovered the right time management tricks or applied sufficient effort, or that you need to start getting up earlier, or that you’re generally useless.

It’s that the underlying assumption is unwarranted: there’s no reason to believe you’ll ever feel “on top of things,” or make time for everything that matters, simply by getting more done.”

Rather than being the typical time management book advising me to squeeze everything possible from all seconds of the day,

this one gives an unexpected message:

the key is to finally accept there will not be enough time to do it all.

Only from this acceptance can you really deal adequately with the time you have.

Only from this place can you see it as wise to step off a hamster wheel that takes you away from what matters most to you.

Although counter-intuitive, accepting limitations leads to more freedom and satisfaction with the time you have.

Fighting it, thinking you are just one new planner or productivity tip away from optimizing all your time, actually creates a greater feeling of time slipping away from you, dangerously out of your control.

I love this book and its message.

It’s been affirming for me and validates many lessons I’ve learned over the past few years.

If you’ve been following me for some time, you may have heard me talking about my desire to make the most out of all of my journals.

It’s led some very cool realizations.

I started digitally archiving every idea and journal entry so that they aren’t lost on a shelf or forgotten with time.

Why do I care?

Because I used to be one of those people that would pick up an old notebook and think,

“This idea is great, why did I not do anything with it over these past years?”

Or upon discovering old notes, I’d notice that I simply keep relearning the same lessons over and over,

without actually integrating them or changing my behavior to match. I was forgetting a lot.

Anyway, since I began to keep a digital archive of my journals in a free program called Obsidian, I figured out ways to keep track of these ideas better.

And I also began to make unexpected connections between entries occurring over the weeks, months, and years.

One theme that continued to pop up was what I began to call my relationship with time.

My Relationship with Time

This relationship with time seemed to cause me a lot of feelings:

-anxiety that I wasn’t doing enough and time was running out,

-stress and urgency that something needed to be figured out quickly,

-overwhelm from feeling that there was so much to do in so little time that I would be immobilized from acting or deciding on next steps at all.

I saw it over and over again and began to note the instances.

By doing so, I could review this theme over time and see the patterns occurring again and again and again.

((Sidenote: If you are interested in how to digitize your notes and make connections like this,

I’m hoping to get a self study course out soon that will teach my methods of digital organization!))

What is really interesting to me is that I have rarely ever heard anyone talk about this “relationship with time.”

It’s always funny to me though when I discover something in isolation.

I can’t unsee it once I see it. After I make connections it seems so obvious, surely someone else could figure it out, too.

The book Four Thousand Weeks is one of the first that specifically addresses it, which is why it feels like a drink of iced water on a hot day.

Why does it matter?

Looking at something as a relationship or a dynamic adds additional richness to how you can understand it.

I’ve heard people talk about their relationship with their body or body image, for instance.

Usually people use this to mean that this relationship is something separate from the body itself.

Similarly a relationship to time is something separate from time itself.

It has ebbs and flows of its own.

When I feel a sense of urgency, the idea that there is a ticking clock feels like a fact to me. Almost like a bear is running towards me and I better move or else.

And, yet, maybe this is an illusion.

Similarly, someone experiencing a toxic body image can look in the mirror and see body flaws that don’t even exist in real life.

Until that person takes a step back enough to realize that their perception may be part of a toxic relationship they’ve developed with their body,

they can continue life without ever questioning the thoughts about their body that cause them so much pain.

They can confuse their relationship with their body, with the body, itself.

Similarly, until I began to step back and understand that my relationship with time and perception of it exist separately from time,

and that they need to be questioned,

I was operating on autopilot under the anxiety that I wasn’t going quickly enough or getting enough done.

It was this noticing of my relationship of time across my journals, along with the feelings I wrote about it causing (anxiety, stress, crippling overwhelm)

that made me realize I needed a change.

These patterns had been running me ragged, on and off, for decades.

It snuck into everything I did: my writing goals, my business, and also my personal life.

This toxic dynamic stole satisfaction from nearly everything

because no matter what I did, there was always more to do (and soon).

To navigate life, I did learn to manage some of these feelings on a daily basis.

I’d decide a particular thing wasn’t so urgent and I should prioritize something else, or just try to calm my stress down that day so I could get back to work.

But the feelings would pop back up about something else.

I managed the feelings so that I could function, but without truly addressing the underlying premise of the relationship itself that was running in me as a long term pattern.

A Big Change

Losing my father in 2021 increased my anxiety so much so that thinking about a deadline could make my heart pound so much I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

And when I operated on that urgency, my nervous system was so dysregulated I would not be thinking right.

Then I would try to something quickly, and screw it up so badly it usually took me more time in the end to unravel the knots rushing had created.

It provided the perfect opportunity to go easier on myself.

Basically there was no other sane option.

Since then I developed some new mindsets to lean into, to reshape my relationship with time.

Lately, slow but steady has been my mantra.

As is, going at my own pace.

Also, taking my time.

I’ve come to create a new meaning for that phrase, “take my time.”

Usually, it means going at a slower pace, but I like to think about it as grabbing my time for myself when I need it or want it. Like grabbing it with my hands.

Take that slow morning coffee.

Take that walk.

Take that opportunity for peace.

This time is mine first, not anyone else’s.

At the end of the day, this is my life, and I don’t want to spend all of it spinning and spinning.

I’m still human, still a work in progress, still figuring it out.

But I’m happy to say I have found a better kind of life than I used to have. Thank goodness. I have a better relationship with time and productivity that is much less toxic.

Here’s another quote from Four Thousand Weeks to cap off this reflection:

“We’re often obliged to find ways to cram more into the same amount of time, even if we end up feeling busier as a result….

So I don’t mean to imply that once you grasp what’s going on here, you’ll magically never feel busy again.

But the choice you can make is to stop believing you’ll ever solve the challenge of busyness by cramming more in, because that just makes matters worse.

And once you stop investing in the idea that you might one day achieve peace of mind that way,

it becomes easier to find piece of mind in the present, in the midst of overwhelming demands,

because you’re no longer making your peace of mind dependent on dealing with all the demands. …

​You begin to grasp that when there’s too much to do, and there always will be,

the only route to psychological freedom is to let go of the limit-denying fantasy of getting it all done and instead focus on doing a few things that count.”

Did you see my recent email where I talked about the dangers of consistency?

It feels related to this discussion on time.

See my recent post where I questioned the goal of consistency in writing and business goals. It’s another thing that can cause stress and lead people in the wrong direction. 

If you need help with your book or business writing:

I help people write for your book or business. I take this attitude of patience and “slow but steady” into my coaching and editing work that I do with people.

Many of my clients have found this soothing and helpful to making faster progress in the long run on the things that really matter.

It’s also permission to follow the fire of your creativity and the life force that wants you to go outside, take a breath, be a human being not a human doing.

It’s possible to live a good life while being a writer, creator or entrepreneur…

If you’d like to make faster progress on your writing but still keep your sanity, there’s one spot open in my short term coaching package, the 2 Month Rapid Progress program. 

Sidenote: should I rename that?

Maybe I should rename my coaching package from being called “Rapid Progress” to something else? What do you think? Any ideas?

Or not…

Ironically, being more patient with myself has resulted in fewer instances of time-based anxiety and crippingly overwhelm.

As a result, I am making progress on the things that really matter, and wasting less time on things that don’t matter so I can enjoy more of my life.

It still feels like Rapid Progress…just not as frantic or stressful.

I’ll have to chew on that.

Free virtual writing cowork coming soon

-If you want to feel more motivated to get some writing, creating or work done, come join!

-You’ll also be able to ask me questions about your writing, nonfiction book, or business marketing projects. 

Mark your calendar for Friday, July 11!

Lasting two hours from

11 AM-1 PM Eastern, or

8AM-10 AM Pacific

Come and stay for a while, or hop in during the middle and join us.

You can work on your editing, writing, creating, marketing, idea organizing.

It is free!

Get the inspiration or answers you need for your book or business, and then get to work!

You can ask me questions about writing, marketing, organizing your ideas, a course you bought from me, and more during the Q&A section.

And of course, there will be some friendly chat!

Then, during the coworking time we will work on our projects independently.

Words from our last free event:

“It was good to co-work with you and the group today. I feel like I made so much progress just writing this one email and, of course, sharing about our life and work. Amazing. Have a great rest of your week.” – Uli

How do I sign up?

Register for our free cowork session on zoom here

FAQS:

Can I come for just part of it, if I have to leave?

That’s fine! Yes, just pop in for a bit.

If you have a question, and cannot attend in full:

consider sending me the question in advance via email or putting it in the chat during the session and perhaps I can record my answer even if you have to leave before I answer it.

Can I come late?

Absolutely, yes, just please make sure you are muted if we are working quietly.

Is there a recording if I can’t make it? 

Yes and no: I might record parts where I am teaching or answering an important question. But the part where we are quietly working? Nah. Probably not.

Do I have to talk or be on camera?

Nope. You can just hang out if you want.

Can I invite a friend?

Yes! Absolutely, I run a small editing and writing coaching business and, thus, I love being referred to others and meeting new people.

Register for our free cowork session on zoom here

Thanks for reading

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🦋 💜 🌿 Hi!

How have you been doing?

It’s been a minute since I posted. If you are new to my posts, for a long time I’ve written them weekly.

But I did something really cool!

And I told no one.

I’ve took a vacation last month to go to Italy and France!

Really enjoying my life over the last few weeks and just totally focusing on being in the moment.

If you’re like, “Oh, I didn’t know you were on vacation,” that’s because it was planned a bit late and because I sometimes I like to tell people after I do something cool like a vacation.

While other people may really enjoy posting a selfie while they are in a wonderful location, I just like to be in the moment, in my own bubble away from the rest of the world.

I also just really like my privacy.

I think privacy is highly underrated.

Am I an unlikely person to like privacy?

It’s funny because only four or five years ago, I considered sharing my thoughts and feelings with others via my writing to be basically the point of my life.

And if I were looking at myself from the outside, I would think a love of privacy would be a complete and utter bad fit for my personality, given that for over a decade, I was kind of an open book.

But nope, even as I have been lauded for being brave to share about my feelings and my life authentically, there are always things I have held close to the chest. Nobody knows what they don’t know. 😉

In fact, I think telling a good story is as much about what you choose to keep in, as what you choose to leave out:

(because of your own comfort, or because it takes away from the story).

Still, after 25+ years writing and publishing nonfiction about my life, I’ve stretched myself past my shyness many times. Shared and shared so many things,

And then something changed.

I wanted something new.

I went to Japan, which took me out of my habit of sharing my thoughts to instant feedback.

It isolated me in a timezone where everyone back home was asleep while I was awake.

And it began to make me realize…I desired a sort of retreat.

Retreat has some connotations. I don’t mean retreat as in defeat.

Imagine a ballon being stretched–it reaches a limit, right? And then what?

You stand forever with it stretched out?

Nah, you get tired of holding the tension and then you let go.

Retreat to me right now feels like a contraction after I’ve expanded to the farthest I can stretch.

At a certain point, once I have stretched and stretched, I’m tired.

And a retreat is also the only place I can really go if I want to embrace change. For me personally.

And I do embrace change, oh that I do.

I haven’t been as regular in my weekly Funletters this past month because I have been off doing some things in my personal life. Fun and happy things.

And it’s possible that may happen again.

I want to keep the focus on being in the moment.

I got to spend time with my husband, be in nature, be me, and not worry about anyone else, and it felt really good, so I hope to keep doing that.

Overall, I am glad I experienced the change in pace.

I’m glad I gave myself permission to break my own rules, bust out of my structure, be off my typical schedule, and just not write for a bit.

How this Relates to You

But let’s talk about this on another more universal level, because it’s bringing up thoughts that may help you in your own writing. …

So here it is:

Setting goals like writing a weekly email can be good.

Typically goals and structures like, “Write X emails in X time” are a great place to start if you aren’t in the habit of writing, yet, or are shy about sharing what you’ve written.

But…I also think it’s important sometimes to step off the hamster wheel.

I’m very much into balance. There is a time for everything.

But I don’t see this balance discussed by other people much at all.

All I hear is, “consistency, consistency, consistency.”

Consistency has become more than a buzzword these days.

For writers, for business owners – consistency has become a drug. Practically an addiction.

And it has also become the place to met out judgement.

What this looks like – is thinking the question, “How well am I doing?” is equivalent to, “How consistent am I?”

It means making the instant connection, “I’m not consistent enough…and that’s bad.”

What does success even mean?

An obsession with consistency can cause you major confusion about what success really means.

The actual measure of whether you are consistent or not doesn’t ACTUALLY relate to your main goals or personal definition of success.

The consistency is supposed to be a tool to get to success, not the measure of success itself.

For instance– if you want to write a really good book, and you set a goal to write daily, you might start beating yourself up if you miss a week.

Meeting the weekly goal can seem like the only thing that matters.

But the thing is that the point isn’t actually to be consistent, right?

The point is to write a good book that you feel proud of.

Because, you could also write a bunch of crap every day and be consistent.

And honestly, most writing advice would be to do just that, and trust the process that the flow of writing will lead to something really amazing.

Maybe it would.

Maybe writing on a schedule regardless of quality could benefit you.

It could help you build a habit, maybe some parts are good, etc.

But here’s the thing…

maybe the actual book you write would still be total crap.

Maybe it would even be so bad you couldn’t even edit it into something worthwhile.

I’m going to tell you straight up:

This has happened to me.

I’ve done NaNoWriMo, a challenge to write daily to write a novel in a month. I did it a lot of times, and most of those drafts were too horrible to do anything with.

Sometimes taking more time to write something will make it a higher level of quality. Sometimes take a little rest when you have nothing good to offer is a good idea. (And yes it can be hard to tell the difference between this and mere procrastinating sometimes, I’m happy to chime in if you need a second opinion!)

But taking a needed pause can be a better use of time than trying to rush through things, just for the purpose of consistently hitting a writing goal.

Because the point is you want to write something good not just check off a todo list.

A Time for Everything

I’m being contrary to most writing advice saying this, just so you know there is a time for everything.

There are times it’s beneficial to not be consistent, not writing daily, etc.

if that’s what actually allows you time to process, learn, think, develop, and come up with ideas that will enrich your writing and ultimately result in a much better book.

There isn’t one right way to do writing. People are different, and different seasons call for different things, as well.

CONSISTENCY is only one ingredient – the goal, the timing, and the purpose of it all (aka your real goal) also matter.

For instance, an obsession with consistency itself won’t necessarily help you write a book that is enduring and good. So if that is your real goal, consistency is a separate thing from the true definition of success.

You might want to consider your writing quality to see if you are on track with your goal, not necessarily focusing solely on your consistency.

Writing for Business

Just a side not for my entrepreneurs who want to write to market their business.

We need to examine consistency carefully here as well.

What’s the real goal of business?

Is it really to be consistently posting on social media, etc?

No. The point of business is to make money, ya’ll. In general, that’s the point.

Perhaps posting on social media etc. is a tool to do that (if it works).

And yes – I tend to work with entrepreneurs who also really want to help people.

Luckily you can do that as you write, share, and market yourself even without paying customers.

I love win-wins like this, and writing is a great way to invite people into your world, your business, and help people for free along the way, too.

But many people are hyper focused on consistency, telling themselves–if you email weekly, post on social media daily, etc., etc. then you are on track with your business.

But it isn’t necessarily true…

At the end of the day you have to take a review of those things you are trying to be “consistent” at and ask yourself if it REALLY is resulting in you making you money or if perhaps you should try some other things.

For example, I focused on posting to social media daily for a literal decade.

My consistency was on point. But it took me a long time to realize that the time I was putting into that outlet was actually not equal to the payoff.

There were many lovely things I got out of it, including cool people I stayed in touch with, and connections made, and there were some sales made, etc. etc. etc.

But it became harder and harder over the years to get my writing seen on social media. Things change.

It also had costs including costs to my mental health. More and more people are noticing these apps are influencing our brain chemistry in negative ways.

And if I am hooked onto social media, I’m just not thinking my best, living my best life, creating my best, enduring, good writing, and so on. So daily use of social media takes away from some of my real goals in life.

Now I don’t put any pressure on myself to show up in social media daily. I pop on when I want to, I schedule posts, and I have found a better balance for myself.

In Sum

Consistency itself isn’t the be all end all when it comes to writing or marketing.

The actual goals you have in life need to be clear.

And the goals need to be revisited.

And whatever you are putting energy into being consistent at needs to ACTUALLY help you achieve real goals.

You have to reflect on it and be real about the ROI.

Wether you want to write a really good, enduring, high quality book, or article;

get sales in your business so you can pay your bills;

or make a visible impact like when people message you to say they really appreciated what you shared….

You got to stop staying in a prison of consistancy if the thing you want to do consistently doesn’t move the needle of your real goal.

Bonus Goal

Speaking of real goals…

at the end of the day, I invite you to take on the goal of being your own best friend.

There has to be a limit to what kind of pressure and expectation you are going to put on yourself. That there has to be a limit to how much you push.

Even if you do something consistent that is good (like me and this email newsletter) sometimes you are going to need a break.

You’ll need to get out of the structure YOU created yourself.

Feel into this and see if resonates. If it doesn’t right now, that’s totally fine, but maybe it will later on.

Please let yourself break free for a while. Don’t be a jail keeper.

And while you are at it, here’s some productive inner work you can do and journal about:

Get to know the part of you that needs escape and understand their reasons.

Remember:

Every part of you has some interesting things to say,

including the so-called “bad, lazy, unproductive” part of you that might be saying,

“Screw consistency, I want to change, I want something else. I want a vacation!”

They are trying to be heard in this shaming culture that looks down on anyone who commits the crime of being inconsistent or unproductive.

If you believe that your freedom matters, by taking time to listen, explore and let things unfold, maybe you’ll discover something that helps you feel more alive.

Maybe you’ll find out that the thing you are being consistent at isn’t fully related to your most important goals.

Maybe you will realize that there is somewhere else you need to focus on to reach those goals.

Or maybe you’ll find an even more important goal to pursue.

Including my favorite: being your own best friend!

LETS BE FREE TOGETHER!

P.S. Stay tuned for an update on my next coworking session to dive into juicy questions like this live with me. Will say more in a future email. Much love.

xo

Thanks for reading

Looking for help with your writing? Click here to make faster progress writing with Sofia’s help.

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Advice I gave a friend

🦋💜🌿Hi!

How are you doing?

If you are new here to my blog, hello! I usually talk about things like writing, inspiration, motivation, having a small business….but here’s what is popping off today.

Last week a friend of mine asked me for advice.

The question my friend asked was personal so I won’t share it exactly. Let me make up a scenario that would fall into a similar vibe:

A person named Cherryblossom has been trying for years to live a great life, fall in love, as well as have a great career.

They wanted to be famous worldwide (including on the internet), and thus become wealthy and live a high-impact, spiritually purposeful life that would really help a lot of people as a result.

However, a series of unfortunate events befell Cherryblossom in her quest, including deaths, heartbreak, betrayals, disappointments.

Now she says she has lost all hope in being happy, as perhaps everything she tries will always end up in tears and disappointment.

Now I think a lot of people would say something like, “Chin up, keep trying…” but that’s not the advice I gave.

I gave very specific advice that I know from personal experience can be potentially life changing. If given at the right moment…

I’ve been a lot like Cherryblossom in my life.

In my early 20s, I ran out the gate trying to check all the boxes of happiness. I started my first business right after college and began taking my writing really seriously.

I, too, wanted to fall in love. I also wanted to hit that bar of internet fame or success and “make it” so I’d always have work and wealth.

I wanted to make a big impact changing the world with my work, and grow my business as a win-win for everyone. From a young age, I’ve had a very large appetite for what I wanted to do and achieve.

Fast forward to a decade later.

Despite running myself into the ground for all that time, I didn’t achieve all my wildest dreams (although I had done plenty of things)…

I finally found myself at a crossroads.

Crossroads

In this moment, I was sitting in my apartment in Japan – my life had totally changed in order for me to spend a year there, but I was not satisfied.

It wasn’t what I expected.

Some things happened that made it feel emotionally crappy. It felt familiar, the same sort of emotional crappiness that I had already lived a million times already.

I was tired of being in the same place (emotionally)!

I’ve come so far…and yet was still running in place. I’d moved to Japan, but still felt like I was caught in the same mental loops as when I still in America.

On this day, I was watching a dumb reality show where people were getting these career opportunities to be famous, and I was like why is this making me so angry?

“These people are getting all these opportunities on a platter, when I’ve worked 50 hours a week for 10 years to get my small following!”

But on reflection, my anger wasn’t really about them.

I had put so much labor behind my goals and I was angry that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. That I wasn’t instafamous like all these people were going to be because of this dumb show.

Not only had I spent time trying to make a name for myself and for my business (the hard way),

I had spent a lot of money getting help on every level imaginable–coaches, healers, therapists, classes, certifications, marketing people, a masters degree–to try to be somewhere different.

Still life didn’t feel that much different from where I began 10 years before.

I had fans, but couldn’t fill a stadium with them like Taylor Swift. I was on this hamster wheel trying to make sure my bills were paid every month. I got them paid (which is an accomplishment) but it was hard work.

And if I was really honest, what were my big dreams and my anger at not achieving them really about?

It was about proving something. It was about proving how great I could really be. It was about being adored the way I should have been as a kid.

Both Cherryblossom and I have been through the ringer. We didn’t have happy childhoods. We’ve been through a lot as adults.

No wonder we both wanted to be experiencing something else, and yet those same disappointing situations and feelings kept returning.

It’s like the most desperate you are to run away from something, the more likely it is to linger.

When you have a Chinese finger trap, you can never escape if you pull away.

I had been making the mistake of pulling away. You only escape by relaxing and moving towards it.

I hadn’t realized I was running, I thought I was just being ambitious or trying to live my life purpose.

But I was running, and there was only one thing I hadn’t tried: staying in place.

There is a concept called “seeking mind,” that being hooked into ambition or seeking spiritual answers or purpose can cause a cycle of seeking and seeking.

It never stops and causes suffering.

You are only thinking about the future, and you never arrive there, like you are on an endless treadmill.

But getting upset over a really dumb TV show showed me all this about myself: I was stewing and disappointed. I’d been seeking for a really long time.

I finally realized that I needed to just be in the moment. Be where I am and accept how I am, how life is.

Accept the possibility that it may never ever change. It may never ever get better. At least not by a lot.

“How can I find it in myself to accept what I have, as it is?

And to stop rejecting it?

To try to be good with it?

Or at least okay enough to just be with it for now?

It would have sounded negative on any other day–

because on a different day it would have sounded like I have low self esteem or was being negative. Like I didn’t believe I have what it takes. I’m not deserving. Not special. Just giving up on my dreams.

But that’s not it. That’s not what I am saying at all.

Dreams are nice, and I can still have them, but I can’t be so fixated on them that everything less than that feels like a nightmare. Even though some one else would be lucky to be where I am.

For instance when I work with the nonprofit I support in Sierra Leone, Her Future Foundation, it makes me realize how great it is to have running water, toilets, electricity, safety, a fridge, etc.

That I have any of that is a win.

Also, just FYI, one of my big focuses is to feed my optimism on a daily basis.

So I do want to be optimistic.

I think it’s possible to be both optimistic and face the hard knocks of life straight on.

That includes the possibility that all dreams may not be achieved for reasons that may be totally random.

But if you can be real and optimistic at the same time, you basically become invincible.

The way Cherryblossom and I have lived, we know that life isn’t always fair or kind or enjoyable.

Stuff happens.

Maybe you know how that is?

So this sort of advice is just being real about that.

THE THING THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Eventually I realized that I needed to reassess my grand ideas about the future, and for a while just focus on being ok with life, right here, right now.

Since I began making that shift in 2019, a lot has happened.

-I met the love of my life and got married.

-I have moved from Japan to USA to Japan, back to the USA, but to a region I never lived before.

-My dad died suddenly and, with time, I learned to smile again.

-I grew out my hair and died it so I look like a new person.

-I changed my business a lot and acquired a second one. I don’t work 50 hours a week anymore.

-I created writing groups that sold out. Made several courses and sold them online. Took private clients to help them write and market their book or business.

-I’ve done a lot to support a NGO in Sierra Leone Africa called Her Future Foundation to help women and girls escape FGM, and child marriage and live better lives through education.

-I’ve made new friends where I live.

And these are just things on the outside.

Learning to accept the possibility that change won’t happen, and to accept my life as it is, has created INTERNAL changes.

A lot changed on the inside that no one can see.

That is what really matters.

That is what began it all FIRST.

If I didn’t shift this internally first and accept my situation as a whole, then nothing else would truly have pleased me. I could do all these things externally and still feel like crap. Because there’d always be more I wanted.

I know that because I’d already lived it multiple times. I had collected many successes and achieved many goals that ended up making almost no difference in how satisfied I felt with my life. I’d just be on to the next.

The thing that changed everything, and what I told Cherryblossom was:

The only time good things have really happened for me is when I accepted my life as it is.

A humble life, a small life, that doesn’t need to be a big important life to make me happy.

Accepting the idea maybe there is nothing bigger in store for me. And that life can still be okay.

I don’t need to be famous.

It’s ok if I don’t make a million dollars.

It’s ok if I don’t save the world and just help a few folks. Honestly just helping myself sometimes has to be all I think about.

Sometimes the most important thing is just to think about what am I going to eat for my next meal. Or finding a way to take a few breaths outside. The little stuff.

I have to be happy with the little things, or there’s no happiness at all.

I asked myself, What if little stuff could change but overall my life and work would just be 90% the same no matter what direction I went in?

Could I be okay with that and be accepting of it?….or even happy with that?

That was the new goal. Acceptance.

Paradox

There’s a marvelous paradox about that.

Because acceptance actually can produce change.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers

It’s how I met my husband. I wasn’t looking for anything, I was fine if we just dated a bit and it went no where because I was going to move out of Japan anyway.

And when I wasn’t looking, there I was getting to know the man who would ultimately become my husband.

I’ve heard that sort of story from a lot of people.

So to my writers and entrepreneurs, maybe you want to think about this in terms of your career:

What if you applied that

To your business?

To a writing project you are stressing over?

To a course you want to teach?

TRY ON THIS THOUGHT EXPERIMENT

Acceptance could look like:

What if you achieve your goals but don’t become super famous?

What if you don’t achieve anything that is out of this world amazing?

If your work didn’t change the world instantly or take your life to a whole new level, would you still see value in doing it?

How could you be ok with a small success or a microchange rather than the kind of success that flips your entire world upside down?

What can you accept about the things that aren’t going so well?

Can you try to be happy anyway within this thought experiment?

You could change some of what you do or keep doing it, but how could you accept the general scenario as it is?

You may feel some sadness or anger even trying to think like this, but it can really help reveal the hidden motives you have for trying to achieve things.

That’s healthy.

These emotions under the surface can actually make it harder to achieve your dreams or to be happy with what you are able to achieve.

Process them, get to know them. Move towards them not away and see what happens.

Remember this is all just an experiment, you can end it anytime if it is truly not for you.

But if you embrace it…

Weirdly when you accept things won’t change…is when it actually is more likely to change anyway.

That’s a Paradox of life

You just have to try it to see what I mean.

Accepting things chills everything out and removes a lot of that emotional noise.

Then you can actually think clearly about whatever you’d like to change and it doesn’t feel so personal or high stakes.

Because at the end of the day you don’t have much to lose since you know you’ll be fine no matter what happens.

And you’ll be ecstatic and grateful with achieving smaller, easier to reach milestones that don’t require you to be superhuman or burnout.

So if you’ve been trying everything else in your business, in your life, in your writing and you still aren’t satisfied with your results…

give acceptance a shot.

It just might change everything.

Quick Writing Prompt

Something I do weekly is think about my challenges, and I write a quick letter to a friend.

If my friend had the same challenge as me, what would I say to them?

It’s always a nice way to step into deeper self compassion, and step out of any confusing emotions. I often come up with some really sound advice.

If you only have a few minutes, Give it a try!

P.S. Did you like this?

Here’s a way to get more from me…

I made a program inspired by all the tools that have helped me find my optimism and motivation again after my father died in 2021.

If you’re feeling sluggish and pessimistic about the future, there’s a way to feel more alive and upbeat about the things to come. And yes, you can still be real about whatever is going on that you don’t like, as well. Do both.

Get more optimistic (without the B.S.) with my Optimism Program.

xo

Thanks for reading

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Hope + Meaning = Motivation

How are you doing?

I wanted to tell you about some inspiring things.

Sometimes I get discouraged about the direction the world is going in, so I have to collect those sparks of inspiration and hope.

First, I finally got to watch a documentary I have been looking forward to for a really long time – ​Common Ground. ​

It recently got added to Amazon Prime, making it easier to watch or rent online.

The movie shares facts about how we can combat climate change with the power of conserving and improving our soil and through changes in how we grow food.

Whether you grow plants in your backyard or select food that supports regenerative farming, there are many ways that everyday people can be a part of improving the planet.

If you didn’t know, I’ve been working with an organization called Her Future Foundation as a volunteer for about five years, helping them fundraise and serve girls, boys and women who need help in Sierra Leone.

The last few years since I learned about this, I’ve been talking to my partners in Sierra Leone about how we can use regenerative agriculture to help local people there to farm crops they can eat, as well as improve resiliency against flooding and other disasters. Still lots to learn to execute the idea, but they are really open to the idea.

2. Speaking of disasters in Sierra Leone, recently intense winds destroyed a school that was helping 115 students to avoid human rights abuses like child labor in mines, child marriage, and FGM.

Let me just give thanks that this school was ever created.

The story of its creation is a miracle in itself.

It began in 2015 when Ariefa Kumara, the founder of Her Future Foundation, heard about a girl in the community being married off.

She was a 8 year old orphan, and the community scheduled an FGM ceremony for her.

She would be married afterwards to an older man.

Ariefa thought it was wrong. Long story short: Ariefa and his mother convinced the community to stop this event.

He was successful and instead of child marriage, the girl became a student. They started a community school to enroll the child in.

That school continued to serve over 100 students a year until right now. Ariefa also went on to create Her Future Foundation, create a second school and many other programs to empower women, girls and boys.

Because of the natural disaster, the school is out of commission but they hope to rebuild.

​The Her Future Foundation organization is running a GoFundme fundraiser to rebuild the school if you’d like to contribute. Even small donations like $20 go a long way. ​

Whatever happens, the school has made an amazing impact on the community, and I’m so thankful. It shows the power of someone to create change in their community for the better.

3. I’d also like to once again thank everyone in my community for your help in previous fundraisers I’ve shared for Her Future Foundation over the last six months.

​(You can read more about Her Future Foundation, and the fundraisers we successfully completed together in 2025 on my website here.) ​

As a result of your help, we were able to send two young women to college in Sierra Leone.

By we – That’s me, and everyone who reads my emails, or knows me, basically. We were the ones to fund this.

Below is a note from Aminata, our latest student aid recipient, to say thank you!

From Aminata: “I hope this message finds you well. I want to take this opportunity to express my deepest gratitude and appreciation to you and all the generous donors who have supported my academic journey.

Thanks to your kindness and financial assistance, I am now eligible to sit for all my tests and exams this academic year. Words cannot fully express how grateful and overjoyed I am. In a world where many prioritize their own needs, your selflessness and willingness to help someone you’ve never even met is truly inspiring.

Because of you, a girl who once thought all hope was lost is now filled with renewed determination and a strong desire to learn and succeed—not just for herself, but to make you all proud. I will always hold your support close to my heart and remain forever indebted to your generosity.

I sincerely pray that God Almighty continues to bless and reward you and your families abundantly. May He protect and guide you in all that you do, and may all your heart’s desires be fulfilled, in Jesus’ name.

With all humility, I kindly ask that you continue to support me through the rest of my academic journey, so I may reach the finish line and fulfill the promise of your generous investment.

With heartfelt thanks,

Aminata Kargbo”

Year 3 Pharmacy Student

Once again, thanks for your help in making this donation to Aminata possible.

(Note: We will fundraise again for our 2 college students including Aminata in 2026, which is when the next funding deadlines are due for them.

In the meantime, Her Future Foundation, our partner in Sierra Leone is trying to ​rebuild a school: go here for details​).

In Sum

There are so many ways to make a difference and no one has to do it exactly the same way.

I hope this reminds you that even small things like giving $25 for a cause, or spreading the word about something you care about can ultimately be so powerful.

It can change someone’s life.

So can growing a plant in a pot, or selecting a different farm to buy your beans from. There are little things we can do to make the planet better.

Focusing on what you can do (even if it is small) versus what you can’t is a way to stay sane.

Usually I talk about writing, ideas, making progress and things like that,

but putting energy into causes I care about is another way to sustain motivation and momentum, because it gives life meaning–

and otherwise I’d be too depressed to get out of bed in the first place.

I hope this brings inspiration to you and helps you start to think about small things that you could do to bring meaning to life this week.

Thanks for reading

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