I have some news.
I hope you are doing okay,
as I mentioned last week, my husband had a cold and I was not far behind.
I ended up getting sick, and I am almost better.
Today, I’d planned to continue sharing on the topic of writing and digital organization of your words and how life changing it can be.
But something got in the way of writing:
And it wasn’t my physical symptoms that kept me from writing this as planned.
It was an ailment of the heart that has afflicted me for quite some time,
and that today is exceptionally acute…
Grief.
Over two years ago now, my father died. As my only surviving parent that is a big deal to me.
I’ve had people tell me I deal with my grief quite gracefully. I receive the compliment.
And I’m glad people can see that I am grieving.
We shouldn’t have to fake it like its not the most devastating thing in the world…
I don’t hide it, I talk about it often, I feel,
but believe me I could talk about it more.
If you knew my every thought you’d know they are not all graceful, I cultivate those for you…
The truth is my heart still breaks every day. I am so heartbroken.
I never used to cry as much as I do now, and I’ve faced a lot of pain. This grief is the worst yet.
I read a book yesterday that had a whole scene about the main character’s father at the end and
it was really touching but it just hit me so hard,
oh my father is not here any more.
You don’t need to give me advice, to tell me his spirit is with me.
That’s what everyone said about my mother when she died, “She is up in heaven.”
A woman I never remember meeting…and yet still grieve evermore.
I don’t feel restful with that all the time.
I just want him here as he was.
We have no control.
There sometimes is no good way to “think” about losing someone.
There’s no advice to make it better…
I just want him back again.
THIS IS BEING HUMAN
This is what it looks like.
It’s OUT OF CONTROL.
I feel like I had him for so little time, just a few years since he got out of a bad situation…it’s so unfortunate.
I am so sad in this moment.
I’m going to let it be okay and show up as is.
There is no cure for grief, it just simply must be felt.
And so I’m not going to talk about writing and digital organization today
but it is great! & You can read all I have written on it here.
Instead, I’m going to share these words I put together about when writing meets LIFE, just like now…
Never Stop Caring
I’m never going to stop being a friend to others.
A human to others.
A heart for others.
If your grandchild is born…
If your family dies…
I’m never going to get in your face, asking why didn’t you come to the writing class?
Why aren’t you writing?
The first priority is to take care of yourself.
Writing is supposed to fall under that.
If the writing doesn’t happen, the solution is not to beat yourself up, never ever.
I know today’s email is a bit sombre, but thanks for being here–
human to human.
