The first writing event I ever hosted was in 2015…wow. And I can’t remember when I hosted the last challenge, but it’s been a while.

​

Well, guess what?

​

A 7 Day Writing Challenge is coming!

​

I’m currently planning to host a free 7 day transformational writing challenge in March.

Perfect for you if you want to get in a habit of writing daily.

​

My transformational prompts will be introspective and general enough to inspire you, whether

💜 you just want to create a journaling habit or

💜 you want a warm-up so you can write more for your book or business.

​

Whatever you want to write, I can tell you one thing:

You will make more progress by making writing a daily habit.

​

Sign up here:

​Sign up for the waitlist here to get all the details about the writing challenge!

Behind the scenes, I work privately with writers one-on-one,

talking weekly,

reading their writing and

giving feedback.

But it’s not just about writing and getting that done…

💜💜 It is about holding space 💜💜

so that you can

🌼 feel SAFE

🌼 explore how to express WHO you are

🌼 be more YOURSELF in everything you say or do

I help you get clear on how to serve others through writing, your book or your business–starting with having the courage to be yourself in a bigger way.

That’s when you realize that just being yourself is a way to be of service.

Helping people write in a more authentic way is what my coaching is about, and it starts with helping you to be more YOU.

I love helping people write stories about:

💜 the change between the past and now,

💜 moving from hiding your light to seeing how valuable you are,

💜 moving from questioning or doubting to KNOWING.

💜 knowing how what you’ve learned can help others.

Seeing my clients write it down, share it for their book or business,

🌼 And feeling the love that comes into your life as a result,

I love to see it.

Whether it is for a book, a blog, a business website,

Sharing this is what you are here to do on this planet!

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL THE WORLD.

Is this year, 2023, your time to do it?

If you:

💜 want your writing to feel more fun and authentic

💜 want to make more progress writing for your book or business

💜 want more fans, friends, or followers… The kind that GET you

🌼🌼 This is all available for you in the Deep Coaching package! 🌼🌼

There is only one spot left for this special on one on one writing support.

It is 34% off.

Ready to be more yourself?

write for your book or business?

And FEEL the LOVE of people who get you?

Get 1-1 support with the Deep Coaching special

​The benefits of being strange.

Hey, reader.

For once, I don’t have a whole lot to say

so I’ll let the pictures do the talking. 🍓

​

Also:

this week’s theme is “weird is good.” 🙃

​

If you haven’t been letting yourself go there, then check out my article, “My most successful business friends are the weirdest.”

​

Do you let people see how weird you are?

It used to be really hard for me.

But I realized there are benefits to being strange!

My life has totally and radically changed since I embraced sharing my weirdness with the world…

so in sum I’m a big fan.

Also it seems to work for a lot of entrepreneurs.

​

So check out what I wrote about it:

Since you are my friend you can read my article for free here.​

​

​

xo Sofia Wren

​

​
​

P.S.

🍓 Yes the title is a reference to this song by Justin Timberlake. It’s worth watching the music video, it’s cute and will probably make you smile.

​

P.P.S
🍓 Do you want to write more so you can reach more people,

but you are having trouble actually getting the writing out?

Or are you stuck in another stage of the process?

​

Get personal support to write your book, emails, website copy or articles.

Make your writing flow to attract the people you are here to serve!

​

🍓 Last week for 47% off

Price for Deep Coaching increases February 8th 2023

​Click here for more information about the Deep Coaching Special 😘

​

​Click here for more information 😘

---

As January comes to a close, I’m relieved to see people continue to share their lessons and New Year intentions.

I’m glad it’s not too late!

​

More of us are questioning that we need to follow certain New Year rules.

​

Me, I’ve always been a fan of growth and change–

But I’m not a fan of “shoulds” or insane pressure.

​

In my article, The kind of year I crave,

I share about my intention to focus on something other than goals in 2023.

What am I focusing on instead? You’ll have to read and find out 🙂

​

I enjoy seeing other people’s unique perspectives on this, so what do you think?

Feel free to contact me with your thoughts on 2023 and what you want to do or be.

​

Leave a comment on the article linked below.

Since you are my friend, you can read this story for free.

​

If you are struggling to motivate yourself to do some writing or other creative work,

then this is the perfect time to check out the article on page 30 of On Purpose Women’s Magazine. (It’s free)

​

I wrote this because there are certain things I wish I had learned YEARS ago,

when I was so desperate to get my business off the ground,

and write amazing things.

​

I would have killed for a shortcut.

​

But I didn’t find one for a long time.

Years.

​

Eventually I finally realized one of the big problems:

​

🤷🏼‍♀️ I just was not in the right headspace

​

❌ to have the most brilliant ideas,

❌ to do my best, high-quality creative work, and

❌ to get everything done more quickly so I could relax in my off-time.

​

🤷🏼‍♀️ Turns out sitting down and just trying to work for 50 hours a week wasn’t the most productive thing.

​

Eventually, I not only figured out the problem, but also the solution,

so I could produce high-quality work ON DEMAND.

​

And I ended up having to work less.

​

I learned how to get out of mental funks more quickly, gain more mental clarity and step into a better-feeling place,

AKA how to be in the flow

so whatever creative work I wanted to do felt easy and FUN.

​

And it’s good I figured all that out,

because eventually I received bigger opportunities, also known as:

​

💜 more responsibility &

💜 more pressure to deliver.

​

Being paid to ghost write books, or write the copy for $10,000 marketing launches,

I was seriously on the hook to produce good writing on demand or else.

​

If I didn’t make my clients happy in the time limit, that would be very bad.

That ticking clock was really stressful. It tested me in every way.

But I had to deliver.

I had to figure out how to be more productive but keep my sanity.

​
So I built on what I learned about how to always be in the flow and ready to work.

I deepened this skill to an even deeper level.

I drilled it down into 3 specific mindset shifts.

​

This knowledge saved my bacon!

​

​

Great news for you:

You get to learn the things it took me years to figure out,

so you can:

​

💚 work on a deadline

💚 create quality work, and

💚 not totally hate your life

​

and it doesn’t cost you anything 🙂

​
​

Read

 “Three Mindset Shifts to Find Your Flow in Creative Work”

(See page 30 at https://opwgc.com/magazine/ )

​

Get into a FLOW

so that whatever you need to do doesn’t suck away your will to live.

It can actually be FUN!

​

(Crazy, I know.)

​

P.P.S. Ready to get your book done this year,

start your business blog, or

write your email list every week?

​

💜 Get into the flow so you not only get your writing done, and make your writing good, but have fun doing it, too.

💜 Show up and share your most valuable ideas with the world.

💜 Feel the courage to be fully yourself and draw in the people who get you as your new followers, fans, and clients.

​

Write more authentically and feel the love. 

Click here for the “Deep Coaching” (discounted for a limited time) to help your writing flow or contact me to see how I can help your write for your unique project.

Only 2 spots available.

Hope you are well.

Me? Oh, my morning has been good and bad.

💚 The Bad: A sweet-hearted repair man tracked black mud on my white carpet and I am trying not to lose my s$&t. 👀 👀

💚 The Good: This morning, I got to know a cool, new person and we had a lot to talk about, like right after I said

​

“I repurpose everything I write. So my newsletters can be long, and…I’m just good with that.”

And not only that but I also write lengthy blog posts as well!​

💚 Let’s dig into the liberation of this sentiment, shall we?

​
​

I need to write this as a distraction from staring at my carpet 👀 👀 👀

Joking, not joking.

​​

💚 Anyway, my new friend mentioned

 the pressure to write SHORT EMAILS or short posts

​

And how it was blocking her from writing what she really wanted to.

​

It makes a lot of sense —

– Every body has a short-attention span,

– We are all busy,

– Time is money, yada yada yada…

​

💚 But sometimes you just want some space to breathe.

It’s nice to take up some more space and get your full thought out, am I right?

So let’s talk about this.

​

LOL

First, I have to laugh 😂

ME…hahaha short emails HA.

💚 If you’ve been on my newsletter, then you might notice I often write LOOOOONG emails.

And I’m not stopping any time soon.

​

Don’t get me wrong.

There’s nothing wrong with a good, short email,

💚 a tasty little bite. YUM.

I do go back and reread things to make what I write a little tighter.

​

But let’s be honest —

💚 I am wordy AF.

​

Why?

That’s just how my brain works!

💚 I just have a lot to say, okay?

​

I have thought about this, because I know shorter is often better

💚 But I have made the conscious decision to embrace my brain and how it works —

​

So I can move the needle on my goals

If I want to write weekly, which is my general goal,

💚 it makes more sense to work with myself,

rather than against myself.

​

Writing is my main form of sharing + marketing myself.

I reuse what I write.

💚 I usually email Wednesday/Thursday plus whenever I’m super inspired.

Then I take this email and I turn it into a post for my blog. I might put it on Medium, and I do all kinds of other things with it.

​

Since it is essential to me that I write consistently,

it should be easy, fun, and/or something that feels like autopilot.

​

Otherwise, it either

– won’t be done,

– won’t be done often enough, or

– I’ll have no energy for anything else.

​

💚 SO IT’S GOTTA FEEL AS EASY AS POSSIBLE.

​

My philosophy

​

I try to write and share a specific energy.

It could be hope, or amusement, or determination.

I’m aiming to add something to the pile of emails or things to read that you already have,

that will give you a smile or a good feeling.

​

If I’m feeling inspired to write a lot, I will.

💚 Being inspired, means my email will at least be entertaining.

That is my belief.

​

​

Even if you choose to skim or delete it

because you don’t feel like reading a whole lot of stuff,

(Respect)

💚 at least my email will be spreading some positive energy!

​

Whatever I write, I want it to be like a fun little Starburst in your mouth.

​

I bring good vibes,

and at the very least,

💚 I’m showing up as a human courageously being a human!

​

I am modeling it for you.

That is gold.

And you can take that to the bank.

(You’re welcome.)

​

💚 Having every reader read every word

as much as I would love that,

and I certainly aim to make every word worthy of that —

​

💚 It’s. not. going. to. happen.

No matter what I do,

I don’t control all the factors.

So I embrace this.

​

But I put the priority on:

​

💚 feeling good,

💚 getting into the flow,

💚 sharing my most valuable ideas, and

💚 showing up with the courage to be myself,

​

And that’s what I hope you do, too.

​

My point is —

If trying to write something short means:

​

💚 It doesn’t feel like YOU,

💚 You don’t write as often enough as you want to, or

💚 You feel like you are putting yourself in a box and can’t be yourself…

​

Forget short emails or the pressure to write them.

​

I know, I know, that everyone’s attention spans ARE short,

but it hasn’t stopped me from getting people to read Freedom Year, a 450 page book.

It hasn’t stopped me from getting people to read a long-A blog or email, before.

​

I’ve got tricks up my sleeve, yo.

​

There are other ways to write

​

💚 There are tricks writers use to get people to read a whole book,

or movie makers to get people to watch a whole, long movie.

And people do it all the time.

​

If writing something long is the way YOUR mind works,

💚 I truly believe you can write long stuff that people want to read.

​

Or at least skim…

BTW I try to make my writing easier to skim by playing with:

​

-formatting

-emojis 💚

-headlines

-lists and

-SPACE

​

so you can skim me up and down.

*insert eyebrow wiggle here*

​

💚 Instead of focusing on being SHORT,

there might be some other tricks you can try.

​

Maybe there is an alternative to saying something complex in 5 words or less.

​

But first, before you change anything, ask yourself:

​

Are YOU Having Fun?

​

Because

💚 if you are not having a lot of fun creating your writing,

then I truly believe

💚 people are not having a lot of fun reading your writing.

​

Personally, that is not a trade-off off I am willing to make,

– no matter how readable it might make me,

– or perfect it might make me,

– or smart it might make me sound.

​

I’m OVER it.

​

Come join me and be over-it together!

​

Carpet update 👀 👀 👀

I know you are very interested in the state of my carpets.

I know it’s going to keep you up late at night worrying if they are okay.

​

If I don’t let you know what’s going on,

I’m probably going to come back to 10 emails because

THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.

​

So the update is:

now that I wrote this email, reapplied carpet cleaner and scrubbed it in, went to lunch, and vacuumed it all up

it is about 80% better.

​

It’s not perfect, but that’s life!

I’ll keep working on it but I’m going to move on emotionally.

💚 I’m going to stop focusing on what I can’t control and get on with what I can.

​

And that ties in with the topic of this post today, because I think

💚 we all try to control things we really can’t control,

which is why we try to learn the right rules for writing and follow them,

and we end up being hard on ourselves,

or we try to change into some perfect person that we frankly are NOT.

​

A More Moderate New Year

It’s the beginning of January 2023,

And now that I’m tuckered out from this email and this carpet, I’m waving a little white flag.

Can we just try to meet reality in the middle?

Try and get a little better,

like trying to write more,

or improve in a little way,

💚 without needing to be ten miles ahead of where we are now and to morph into some other person?

​

Can who we are and where we are now be okay?

Even if we want it to be a little different?

​

💚 Can’t we aim to be moderate, and a little more accepting of reality?

Can’t we just whack the mud off the bottom of our boots a little (ahem),

or recut our gems a touch so you can see the shine of the good that is already there?

​

Sometimes I just need to whack myself around the head a little and remind myself:

IT’S NOT GOING TO BE PERFECT,

THAT IS NOT A THING.

​

Anyway, here’s to a good new year!!

Thanks for the distraction of letting me write to you and, you know, how much you care

(because the state of my carpet is very important news I know, basically the most important thing ever)

Can you tell I amuse myself being this sarcastic and poking fun at my own inner control freak?

Can you relate to your carpets being the biggest deal ever?

​

GAH

💚 Letting go is hard.

But we MUST.

​

Up and Onward!!

We can do this.

Would you like to write for your book, website, or business this year?

• Write your book,
• Update your website,
• Start a consistent blog or email newsletter,

So you attract more fans, followers and clients?

And you can help people in a bigger way?

Get help to make it happen.

Private writing coaching is on sale for New Years.

Click here for to write in a way that feels good, so people like it and it sounds like ‘you.’

It got me thinking about what really matters

If you’re looking for the best question to ponder as you plan out what to do next, read this!

Especially if you are a writer, creator or entrepreneur.

💚 This time of year I love pulling out a journal to reflect on the year ahead and the year past.

I love to know what the heck I am doing as I stride forward.

​But it can feel daunting to actually write and plan—

A million people are sharing their journal prompts,

there are so many planners to fill out…

​

The Problem:

💚 A huge list of journal prompts can make me feel overwhelmed,

AND

💚 A blank page can make me scratch my head wondering where to start.

​

But eventually I powered through. I tried about 30 different journal prompts for reflecting on the year past, and for planning the year ahead.

And I found my favorite!

Maybe you have felt some of those same challenges, too, so I’ll share this question and you can enjoy all kinds of juicy insights, as well.

The 1 Question to Ask Yourself:

💚 If you do nothing else, try this 1 journal prompt!

(It’s soooooo good!)

I got it from Caroline and Jason Zook:

​

“What is one thing, big or small, you’re pursuing because you think you should rather than because you want to?”

​

​

Why I love this question:

Oh my gosh, as someone who has spent a lifetime racing ahead towards goal A or goal B,

💚 sometimes I never stop to think about why I want something.

And if I DON’T — I can finish my goal, but feel unfulfilled, and empty,

like I never moved very far from where I started!

And that’s very bad!

​

Or I try but I don’t get my goal…

Because didn’t work out in the process and I hit a dead-end and think:

💚 “I knew I shouldn’t have done this, I ignored my intuition! And look what that did for me!”

I have finally figured out that this doesn’t work.

So this question speaks right to the heart of the issue.

I don’t want you to feel how disappointing all this can be.​

So now as you and I set goals for the year ahead, this is such a great time to ask:

💚 Do I legitimately want this New Year goal for me, or was I taught to want it?

​

• Am I doing something in the order of XYZ because someone taught me that and it resonates…
• Or am I just being a good student and blindly following advice?

​

What do I ACTUALLY want to do, have, or be?

​

“What is one thing, big or small, you’re pursuing because you think you should rather than because you want to?”

Dig a Hole in the Right Place

“Go go go” is bad advice.

I’m a former speed demon, so I know.

If you’re looking for treasure, it doesn’t matter how fast you dig a hole;

first, make sure you’re digging in the right place!

💚 That means you need to double check what your goal really is and if it’s going to be achieved by what you want to do.

It’s better to SLOW DOWN and make sure you’re putting all your energy digging in the right spot.

Digging in a spot just because other people say to….

is misguided.

This question opened my eyes

When I answered this question in December 2022, it shifted my entire plan what I should focus on in my business, content, writing, and creating in 2023.

Youtube has been on my mind a lot.

I have two channels.

• personal vlogs about Life after Loss since my father died, and a
• youtube channel for people who want to write and create.

I thought I would try to go pro.

I was thinking I should really put a lot of energy into making everything very professional and strategic for Youtube to acquire a bigger audience.

But I knew it was going to be a lot of work, and not the fun kind.

WORK, BLEH.

The kinds of things experts have told me to focus on are:

• Branding
• Keyword research
• Headlines
• Ads reads
• Trends
• Image design for the still

But I realized that frankly, I don’t really want to create that way.

It feels very limiting to put my mind on all of that right now when I just want to focus on:

• Beauty
• Meaning
• Storytelling
• Helping People
• Personal Growth
• Memory Capturing

It is not that I don’t want to spare any thought to the previous considerations, but focusing too hard on it is making me a perfectionist who produces nothing.

I already have a lot to think about.

Demanding I must have the rest in place before publishing is going to kill the spark.

My gut is to just keep doing what works for me.

I’m still going to make movies this year, when I feel like, the way I feel like it.

Yes, this may mean I don’t go viral.

But I just don’t feel like doing heavy lifting trying to trick Youtube into making me famous.

I’d rather focus on making gorgeous stories about the lessons I’m learning in my life since my father died —

yes, life can still have hope,

yes, it can still have beauty.

I’ve inspired a dozen people with my channels already, and although those numbers are not in the millions…

I DON’T CARE.

That’s not why I am doing this.

Pivoting into a new direction

I released that so now I have some free energy to play with.

Eliminating that also made me realize that if I’m going to put energy into growing an audience somewhere new, I’m more interested in growing here on Medium.

I wrote a little ditty about why Medium seems really fun, over here.

And it brought me to think in terms of helping one person versus big numbers.

There is someone here on Medium I can serve by sharing my stories — even if it is just one person.

And I know it will help my SEO game.

That’s where I’m going to put my energy and then I’ll see what happens.

I’d rather do something that feels like me then do something that feels OFF,

even if it is what I’m ‘supposed’ to do.

It has always worked out better for me.

So where is the right place to put your energy?

​

If you want to:

– write a book,

– expand your business, or

– improve your personal life,

​

💚 I highly recommend listening to yourself on how you answer that question:

“What is one thing, big or small, you’re pursuing because you think you should rather than because you want to?”

Listen to yourself.

Blindly follow your GUT on what to do next.

You may have heard this before, but it is true.​

💚 Your intuition is the best guide you could have.

If you can’t hear what it is trying to say clearly —

that’s why writing is awesome.

​

Journaling is a great way to find out what your genius self is telling you

​

You inner genius part of you is:

– not who you are supposed to be,

– not who you were taught to be,

– not the resistance to good changes ahead,

​

💚 But a sparkly part of who you are now.

​

My Belief:

Let’s cut the crap —

As you look back on 2022,

💚 there are a million metrics you can use to judge how well you did in 2022.

And this matters, because:

how you judge your efforts, is also how you judge yourself.

​

I used to get really bummed looking back on birthdays and times when I looked back on my progress,

because I saw my list of what I achieved and always wished I had done more.

​

Now I have this helpful belief to guide me:

💚 If I am more self-loving at the end of the year than I was at the beginning, then that is a good year.

That’s what really matters to me.

​

Read that again.

​

Hey, that sounds really smart, doesn’t it?

I could pretend like I whipped this hot wisdom out of NOWHERE,

as happens sometimes,

but actually this time it took me days.

I did journaling, meditating, and what I call my mermaid-ian practices to reach that fabulous insight bit by bit.

​

Feel free to riff on this idea and create your own belief based around what YOU really want.

​

(Versus what you “should” want.)

💚 It might take you a little journaling time,

and mulling on things

and mermaiding around to find your answers,

but it is so worth it.

Give it a try.

Would you like to write for your book, website, or business?

• Write your book,
• Update your website,
• Start a consistent blog or email newsletter,

Get help to make it happen.

Private writing coaching is on sale for New Years.

Click here for to write in a way that feels good, so you create in a fun and authentic way.

If you want a fun treat, try this!

Can you believe it’s 2023?

I love the shiny feeling that New Year’s Day brings.

​

And you can enjoy this practice to get the year off to an excellent start.

The Practice​

Since 2015, I’ve done this. Loving it!

Ahead of time, I write myself a letter for January 1st of the upcoming year.

I imagine where my life will be by the upcoming January 1st day,

and tell myself all the things I will need

• to hear, 
• to remember, 
• to value, 

on that day a year from now.

I write an email to myself, the future me, on New Year’s Day.

Then I arrange for it to come to my inbox on time.

I used to use Boomerang for Gmail to email it to myself around January 1st. Now Gmail has a new feature to do this as well!

Every New Year’s day, I get the letter from the previous year, and then I work on writing the letter for the next year.

So on January 1st, 2023, I write myself a note for January 1st, 2024.

​

My favorite parts about it

I love receiving this letter!

And if you try this, I think you’ll love it, too.

Be surprised —

I find rereading my letter a year later is always deeply touching.

By writing it for the next New Year’s Day, you’ll forget what you wrote,

every word will feel brand new.

If you’re like me, you’ll be surprised by how relevant those words end up being.

This letter is a snapshot of this moment in time:

A collection of these yearly letters is such a great time capsule!

Do the practice yearly by replying to the previous email, so you keep an easy archive of all the letters you’ve written.

You can quickly reference them and see what life was like years ago.

​

​

Write Yourself a Letter for the New Year

It’s powerful because not only is receiving the note such a magical gift —

writing it in itself is awesome,

because it gets you thinking about the year ahead as if it has already happened.

​

By doing this practice, you will:

• remind yourself of those lessons you will always need to relearn.
• ​predict the thoughts and feelings you’ll have in a year, and decide what words will be the best medicine for the hard things.
• imagine your triumphs and your efforts, and you’ll start giving yourself credit in advance.

Give it a try —

Spend 5 minutes writing a letter to yourself to read on January 1st, 2024!

​

It’ll be an amazing letter to write and receive, I promise you.

​

And when you end up reading your letter later,

you might be surprised how psychic you are, too!

Let me know in the comments what you think and spare a few claps for me if you like this!

​

Happy New Year!

​

P.S. Make more progress writing your book or writing for your business

Would you like your writing to feel more fun and authentic?

Want to get more done in a way you feel proud of?

Make your writing flow as smoothly as a mermaid swims with private writing coaching.

See The Jaw Dropping New Years Special

It’s over 60% off!

Exposed & Bare. Vulnerable.

​

When someone reads what you write down,

​

and they think XYZ.

This week I’ve been slowing down and listening in now that the Winter Writing Group is closed for new members. All the members are on this journey to write and create, even if it’s a bit of a stretch!

Ever since last week, I’ve had the urge to talk about this exposed feeling that comes up when you start to share your writing–or even think about sharing.

It’s old hat to me now after publishing writing about my life for 20 years, but it doesn’t mean I don’t ever have to face it.

I’m talking about that little voice coming up when you put pen to paper:

“What if people read this, hear my voice, and they don’t like it?”

It might gnaw at you or feel a bit embarrassing…

even if it’s just a little bit, that’s enough

– to kill your inspiration,

– to block you from sharing, and

– to keep you in the shadows, covered and ‘safe’.

The Problem:

Here is the deal about writing.

When you write or share, you reveal yourself:

– Your thoughts.

– Your feelings.

– Who you are.

How terrifying!!

In fact a lot of people have what I call “sibling-syndrome.”

It’s a fear of writing anything personal down.

It comes from when a sibling could invade your privacy and read your deepest darkest secrets in your journal!

(Best not to even keep a journal in that situation–it’s a logical way to protect yourself.)

But maybe, THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE BESIDES YOUR SIBLINGS,

(Or your bullies. Or your parents.)

And they are waiting for you to connect with them.

They are your people.

Maybe your people will get you,

better than any one you ever grew up with did.

Maybe your secrets will endear you to them forever,

like a best friend.

Maybe the safest thing in the world is to let people see the real you,

and let go of holding back,

because you will magnetize your people

and they’ll become your friends, fans, followers and even clients.

Are you prepared for people to discover the REAL you?

Read your thoughts, your feelings, your secret truths?

Are you prepared for what they might think or say about it?

I’m writing to you about this because if you want to write authentically or share about what you do this is majorly important.

As a writing coach, I’ve seen clients be so reluctant to feel exposed or judged (which I know is super scary)…

that they never write anything down, and hold back from sharing anything ever!

Why fear of exposure is worth facing

– If you want to help people,

– If you have a mission worth sharing,

– If you have gifts, art, information, a service to share with other people…

People need to hear what you have to say,

So sooner or later you are going to need to

Show. Up.

The best way to reach people is to show up in general,

– consistently,

– broadly, and

– as often as is comfortable for you.

You can’t just think about writing.

You can’t just write in a journal and leave it there.

You can’t show up once, with 10% of who you are, and expect to rock people’s world.

You gotta show up more than that.

But showing up as much as it takes, or even once,

may be uncomfortable or scary,

so what should you do?

What is the solution?

Should you tear off all your metaphorical clothes and bare your soul right now in every way possible?

Should you share writing drafts you don’t think are ready?

Do you need to open your journal and share your deepest darkest secrets?

Is that what is necessary to be authentic and fully embracing your purpose?

Is this what you need to do for the shock therapy to “break the ice,”

so you don’t ever fear being vulnerable or exposed again?

Well….

Speaking as someone who HAS done this–

I’ve published a book about some of the most vulnerable things I could share. I’m talking about my memoir Freedom Year. ​

Yeah, I talked about my sex life, from when I was 22 (btw the sex honestly wasn’t even that great! Which is maybe worse…)

Freedom Year was a time in which I confused, trying to find who I was and using bad dates and questionable choices to find that path.

I wanted to stop being a doormat so I thought trying to be more like a dominatrix would somehow turn me into a strong woman like Beyonce.

Plot twist–It didn’t really work that way,

but those weird a$$ experiences did in a round-about way lead me to finding my spirituality and more self love.

I don’t regret writing the story, or publishing it. I got a lot out of all parts of the process.

But I can tell you there is an easier way.

In all honesty, I thought I would publish Freedom Year and then I would officially give no f&*$s about what anyone thought and be totally authentic forever.

But that’s what happened. I still have thoughts like, “Why did you do this?!”

I dismiss those thoughts since I know I did it to follow my intuition and I trust my intuition. Full stop.

But if you get nervous about sharing your writing, I don’t think publishing a tell-all memoir solves everything.

Despite ripping off a big bandaid of vulnerability, it still takes work for me to continue to be courageously myself every day.

(But embracing that courage is something I am committed to, so no biggie. Bring it on. I’m ready.)​

For you, Maybe there is another way

We all have a different path. I’m not suggesting you take my path and use it as your own.

You can do things in a softer, gentler way.

Don’t just take the plunge and expose yourself broadly without preparation.

In fact, before I published Freedom Year, I did a LOT of preparation,

and that’s what I would recommend to you

BE GENTLE. GO IN STAGES. PREPARE YO’ SELF.

FYI, this still matters even if you haven’t written something yet

just knowing your plan is to be gentle on yourself WILL make it easier for you to write authentically,

because while your writing is still an IDEA in your brain,

your subconscious is already thinking 12 steps ahead to how people react when you hit publish.

If you have a fear of exposure, it CAN and WILL completely block your writing in the first place

because if you have no writing to show anyone, then you will be ‘safe’.

“Uh uh. Not this. Shut it down,” is basically how the uncontrollable forces in your brain will react.

There goes your muse, out the window.

If you’ve been having trouble finishing a project, maybe this is happening to you.

To get over this you have the option to publicly share about evvvvvvverything right this second,

but you don’t need to.

And unless you are prepared, I don’t recommend it.

It’s not necessary to go to such great lengths of self-exposure to be authentic and serve your purpose.

Good news, right?

Well, the bad news is that at some point, you will need to explore your edges around exposure and vulnerability.

This is the way:

– to stop being “the world’s greatest secret”,

– to share your stories or your skills to people who will benefit, and

– to be seen so you reach the people you are here to serve in a bigger way.

BUT you can still push your edge around sharing your writing in a gentle way.

How to Be Gentle

Here’s what I recommend:

Share your writing in stages.

1. Find a gentle or SAFE person to share your writing with and tell them what kind of feedback you want or don’t want.

For instance, say all you want is to hear is what they like about it. Make sure they won’t judge.
​
Maybe talk to them on the phone so you can make sure you hear their tone.

(I’ve been this gentle first person who reads and gives feedback for many clients, reply to me if you’d like me to be this person for you!)

2. Find a safe group you can share your writing with.
​

Same deal–let them know what you expect and hope for from them.

If you get crickets, i.e. no response, maybe go back to number #1.
​

Whenever I am in a course that has a group chat, a private forum, a facebook group, a voxer or telegram group,

I share ALOT of writing, voicenotes, posts, and videos about what I am working through.

It’s a great way to make friends, learn a lot, and generate ideas for things I end up sharing publicly.

3. If you aren’t confident about your writing, ask for constructive criticism.

If you feel like you want your writing to get better, you can ask a writing expert or someone else how to make it better.

You can ask the people you share with or people you share with in groups.
​
Don’t ask a person who hates fantasy how to make your fantasy novel better. Don’t ask a person who hates yoga how to make your yoga site better–

make sure who you listen to actually has a useful opinion.

You have to take it with a grain of salt, but try not to get defensive if there is some truth in what people say.

Filter it through your intuition.

4. Edit your writing and repeat the previous stages until you are ready to share with the whole world.

​Sometimes it takes a few rounds of polishing to feel ready. No shame in that.

​
5. Post or publish your writing publicly.

​Whoo!!!! Time to post and attract those people who get you 🙂

Now you may even have the confidence to personally approach people with your public posts and ask them to like, share it, or leave a comment or review!

​

You can also do these stages out of order–

like maybe you post writing publicly and after that you ask for feedback about how to make that writing better.

​

The point of this is:

If you have fear of exposure, you may not realize there are many stages that you can put your writing through.

You may think the process looks like writing and then instantly sharing so everyone in the world can see it.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

You have to tell your brain that this is not necessarily what will happen–

you will be gentle.

Going through the process will also help you gain strength.

The big goal of taking your writing through stages is not so much about honing your writing,

although if you get help and you feel your writing gets better then you may feel comfortable sharing in a bigger way.

Mainly this is a practice of exposing yourself through sharing in safe spaces,

so that it dulls the sting of it. You get used to it.

It makes your stronger for when you go public with your writing.

I want you to be strong because these days a lot of people experience NO response to writing.

It doesn’t mean your writing sucks but it is disappointing to be ignored, or have no confirmation that someone connected with it.

There are also internet trolls. Some people really are negative, but it might just be their problem.

What you put online may be read by this person or that person you’d rather not have read it, and you may dread that.

But if this is truly something important that you need to write, to share, and get out there,

I trust you will find the courage you need to push your writing forward.

Aim to move it into the next stage.

​

You can do this, and if you need any help making 2023 the year you make progress on sharing your writing in a safer, gentler, more courageous way…contact me

​

Knowing when to take off the training wheels

Yeah, this is a lot of stages to put writing through.

Some writing may not trigger you so much and so you don’t need to do all this work on it.

Eventually, when you are more practiced in writing and sharing, you won’t need all these stages to share something that makes you nervous.

You will trust yourself.

You may even get feedback directly from people that helps you know you made the right decision to share.

For example, this fall I did something really big. I was super vulnerable in my vlog about the lessons I learned from a year of grieving my father. ​

I shared it publicly without showing it to anyone else because I knew it was right.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t have butterflies!

But despite never having done a vlog before, I felt confident in the process.

I’ve done enough vulnerable writing and storytelling to know when something is safe for sharing.

I published the vlog, emailed, and posted it and also sent it to specific people who had also lost loved ones.

I got so much positive feedback it confirmed my intuition: people needed to see it.

It was definitely a leap for me but after the response I am already planning my next vlog.

I hope this inspires you in your writing and sharing, and remember–

you can blow a gentle, calm dust over everything you are working on.

It doesn’t need to be SO hard.

​

Do you need someone safe to share your writing with?

Make progress on writing for your book, business or blog,

so you can get it in the world for 2023!

Contact me about 1-1 (one on one) writing coaching

Services include:

copywriting, co-writing, writing coaching (via phone, zoom or voxer), and editing.

You can see my portfolio here.

Contact me to make progress on your writing this upcoming year!