I just returned from an amazing trip in sunny Florida, and am integrating back into my life here in Madison, Wisconsin. It is magically 50 degrees F, instead of it’s usual 20 or below…
Spring is here!! yay!! Only a year ago I was in Japan for Spring (seeing above).
Here’s some writing that I may include in my upcoming book:
Japan Year: how I met my fiance and found my creative soul in Japan.
I was thinking this morning that I live a wildly different lifestyle than the people I grew up with do. Some of the “trappings” may be the same but I am trailblazing an entirely different way of being.
It began with feeling that pressure to fit a certain box—but now I love all the things I am able to create on my own. It is amazing that my focus and intention has crafted my life the way that it has.
There is always time for what I feel compelled to do for my enjoyment, my health, my flourishing—this is no longer bonus to me.
There is always a way. I believe this and so it becomes a priority for me, not an afterthought.
I often have so many ideas for things, it is ridiculous. But now so many have come to fruition—a book, a professionally recorded song, things have popped in my business.
I am the boss.
I set the deadlines.
I never have to worry about being unable to share something with the world because of timing.
I literally am in charge.
And at one point this didn’t matter for my happiness at all—
I was my own boss and at first I was the worst boss I have ever had. My lack of progress bummed me out. I worked 50+ hours for less than minimum wages, for years.
I managed to find a way out of that mindset and embrace “enough ness.”
Now each day, I feel content with what I’ve gotten done and I am excited to be able to work on it some more another time… and yet it still ends up happening in the end, I can trust myself not to let something simmer for too, too long.
But it did not begin with any kind of ease, I had to work at it over time.
Every since I was a teen, I never really felt like I fit, and I waited, and waited for something to change, for an outside force of validation to deliver unconditional appreciation to me, if only I worked hard enough.
To finally be enough, to have done enough, to have arrived.
But now I see that when I decided to craft a life that ended up fitting me, that’s when things changed. All the hard work isn’t what really did it.
I had to completely innovate, including how I thought on a basic level. That required me to tap into the soul of things on a deeper level that isn’t anything I learned fully from someone else. I found my own way.
I did this life-crafting from a place of integrity and originality because I realized that mere copying someone else was not going to work for me—
I don’t know exactly why not but the why does not matter. It didn’t work. I was consistently frustrated.
I was overwhelmed, depressed, anxious. I was uninspired, sad and small.
I did not fit because my life didn’t fit me.
Until I decided to do something about it.
Thankfully I’m the kind of person who collects tools and helpful practices to keep getting clear on what I feel, what I need, and pursue that. Bit by bit these things all pieced together. My life was constantly improving up to until that point, like roots growing under the surface.
But at a certain point I was tired of small variations on the same life. I turned 30 and my dad had a heart attack. It suddenly struck me how short life can be and I had to make a far greater change.
Thankfully, I had the inner resources and the supports in place to be courageous.
I pulled the plug on my life entirely. Left a 7 year relationship. Left a home I was in for 4 years. Left the slow plodding building of my business of 7 years, as well
Seeking a life change, I came up with the idea of teaching English in Japan for a year: a year that would change the direction of my life completely.
I would be restarting clean. I shucked so many possessions. I wrapped up a number of things to prepare for 2 years.
My business had been peaking and I knew it would suffer from a full time job in Japan, but the mermaid in me knew I had to go.
During that time I knew it would all change and I knew it wouldn’t be totally comfortable since I’d lived abroad before.
I’d experience facing those uncomfortable realities when you don’t speak another language fluently: the isolation, the weird vibes, the loneliness. But it was still a change that my heart called for it.
So it might have seemed crazy but luckily I had everything I needed to do it: I was organized and had a system of productivity to keep track of the million or tasks and application items I needed. I kept doing what I needed to get a job and visa in Japan, move my stuff, downsize, get everything I needed etc.
I had money coming in from work that I enjoyed but I also wasn’t so attached to it that I feared losing it. I’d rebuild my business after Japan.
I had an enterprising spirit where I could work as long or as little as I needed anywhere in the world. My business was able to supplement everything else I was doing for money to create some big chunks of cash to pay for moving across the planet.
I did everything myself except for my friends helping me move and rented me a room, and my dad’s help with mail, stuff storage, and giving me a place to stay for a few months.
That time with my dad ended up being precious—a way for us to bond that we hadn’t had in years. He passed away after I returned from Japan, but despite the distance we were closer to ever. My trip gave us the urgency to make good use of our time together, and I’m so glad we used it to the fullest.
I learned a lot about myself as I focused on having the best experience in the “waiting room” before Japan. I dated a ton, with no expectation of finding something that would stick, which taught me more about myself and other people than ever.
It was the most independent thing I have ever done.
It was the most ME thing I have ever done.
I had always wanted to travel and yet it was expensive and there were a million ways to stick to my side of the ocean and try to be practical and wait until XYZ until I could travel.
Well, I stopped waiting. I made it happen.
During that time I had emotional ups and downs, I had crises, I had car crashes, I had broken hearts, I had devastation and disappointments, but at the end of the day it completely changed my life.
I was a changed person from this experience.
I gained something key by the time I went through this whole Japan journey almost to its conclusion.
I met a wall and realized in Japan that there was no more waiting on fully pushing the gas on the creative career I wanted to have—
doing MY art, and not just writing for my clients. Not just trying to be popular, famous or successful.
Doing it to breath AIR and not drown. A huge gulp.
In the year after that realization, I wrote several books, published one, professionally recorded a song, and launched a highend course on creative progress called Mermaid Creatrix. I was on fire.
In Japan I also met my fiancé, too! We met as I was focusing on my music singing at open mics, became friends as I sought out more beautiful experiences in Japan, until dating him became one of those experiences my deep connection to myself led me have.
And in the end, when it was time to return to America, I knew what we had was the relationship that would be worth a fight. More on what I had to do to reunite with my fiance six months later here.
Sometimes the pieces just all come together and click and I finally figured it out through my Japan experience. It was still up and down, but I never had had the balance of factors before to finish and publish my book Freedom Year after 8 years, as well as record New Dawn, my song, after singing and song writing for almost the same amount of time.
I broke through.
And now it’s my passion to share this knowledge so other people can create the lives, books, businesses and other projects that truly light them up.
You have what you need inside of you, the key is to turn the dial to the mermaid station.
Listening to yourself can mean a lot of things. That’s why I say the mermaid station:
listen to the calling of your mermaid, the part of you with the right messages for you to make the best decisions of your life—the things you will look back on and be proud of, knowing you did the right thing and you are on track on a life full of fun and sparkles
In the next few months I will be sharing more clips about my journey in Japan, and, as always, more about intuition, making progress sharing your soul and advancing your unique creative process.
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Want to tap into your inner mermaid so you know what do next?
Keep an eye out for my live online group program Psychic Mermaid Creatrix with everything you need to always know what to do next to make the right decision for your books, creative projects, business, and life.
The live group program will start up again in June.
Stay tuned for some with special bonuses coming for those that pre-enroll in May!
Can’t wait? Gotta have more clarity and mermaid vibes right now?
If you want to always know what to do next to make progress on your project, so you can share your story or get more clients for the work you are passionate about, here is what you can do now:
The homestudy course for Psychic Mermaid Creatrix is open, and if you sign up now you’ll access the full video course and be signed up for the live group in June-August.
I also offer coaching for a range of budgets from $111/month to the $5000 Your mermaid treasure VIP program. I have one spot open right now for coaching in March 2022!
Send me a message to discuss how I can help you.
Until then lions and lionesses–be brave
Sofia Wren
