Are you having a good week?
For me – I just added some highlights to my hair.
Since I will not be on social media today (taking a break like I mentioned last week),
I’ll share it here-
I am feeling really pretty today…
and sometimes embracing feeling pretty is hard for me.
I have a lot of emotions around it because growing up,
anytime I felt like I was shining someone came around to beat me down emotionally.
Childhood bullies, and an adult woman I had to be around for 10 years.
That was 20+ years ago now but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t come up.
For years it felt easier to “fly under the radar” as someone not that pretty, not make waves, and remain invisible to stay safe.
But in the aftermath of my dad’s death in 2021, and
how much that emotionally crushed me,
rather than fall back into the same crappy feelings day in and day out,
I wanted to change.
I started changing my appearance as a way
to demonstrate that I was crafting a new identity for myself.
(My hair grew out during this time–and my short pixie cut that I had through my 20s was totally cute, but I just needed something different.)
Every change was a way to step into the future,
whoever I was turning into was someone new, too.
It has not always been easy to change but I was really unhappy before,
so there’s no way I’m looking back.
I don’t want the past to determine my future anymore.
This summer, I have been releasing the grip on the past in a lot of ways
to be more optimistic.
And I have been feeling a little bit better.
This summer, I have been releasing the grip on the past in a lot of ways
to be more optimistic.
And I have been feeling a little bit better.
This past week I actually felt happy for a chunk of the day, several days in a row.
In 2022 the days were nearly all terrible.
In 2023 I started seeing glimmers of something else.
Now in 2024 those glimmers are becoming more tangible.
So like I said last week, even if I have a million bad experiences to tell me
-things don’t work out,
-dreams don’t come true and
-a lot of bad things can and DO happen…
Including that it’s not safe to shine and feel pretty…
(and there’s a part of me just waiting for some nasty person to come at me again)
I AM CHOOSING THE COURAGE TO SHINE ANYWAY.
Because it does take courage.
I have learned that optimism is about courage,
courage to face the facts even when they suck,
but being able to lift my head up and
look into the unknown.
To give the future a chance before I decide that the worst is certain to happen.
The future is uncertain most of the time.
And it takes courage to open yourself up,
step into it and hope to be surprised by something good.
But without it, we’d never even give ourselves the chance to find out.
Like I shared last time, I’m working on something new
around the theme of increasing optimism.
Could you be more optimistic?
Do you want to feel more optimistic?
If you say yes to both of those questions,
I’m coming up with a cool free thing
starting Sunday August 4th…
More info is coming.
I’ll be sending you some emails about it so keep an eye out.
Make sure to sign up to my free email newsletter to hear more about increasing your optimism.
