Wren’s Journal- November No Shame New Moon

Hey everybody,

Twice a month I take a little time to share what’s going on with Wren. This particular new moon is something special. Here’s an explanation from Stella Seaspirit:

Stella also has a great ritual on Releasing Untoward Behavior. If you are at all interested in observing the new moon, a classic thing to do is to clear out feelings, beliefs, or behaviors that don’t serve you.

This is something I have been working with quite a bit. Lately I have been reading Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown. I never before released the extent to which shame has been prevalent in my life.

A video by Brenee Brown:

 Often times when we are putting shame on people we don’t see a problem with it. Like shaming a kid into cleaning up their mess, or not getting good enough grades. It is how we learned to do things ‘the right way’ and we don’t really understand how to speak in other terms.

Same goes for rules that we live our lives by. That’s why I think many of the people cling to stereotypes by policing people within their own group. Like men who tell their sons to “stop acting like a pussy” or “cut your hair, you look like a faggot.” That’s shaming.

But women do it, too. A major thing that affects women even though its really superficial is our appearance. I’ve really always been more of a comfortable clothing girl, but it was still hurtful if my stepmother called me sloppy, messy and said “If you eat like that, no boy is ever going to date you.”

Remember how when Hilary ran for president, people were talking about her cankles? Mean girls know how to hurt you by making fun of your style, or the way you wear your makeup.

All these things are stupid but they still hurt. Living your life in fear of feeling shame sucks. But it’s prevalent and many of the people putting it on you think it’s right. Shamers may even feel like they are doing you a favor.

And just as important to remember is that growing up with shame around us, it’s easy to automatically shame ourselves all the time.

For me–overcoming this is the biggest challenge. I sike myself out by telling myself if I do whatever I want, I’m going to be so freaky no one is going to want me around. I have to let go of that, or it will keep me from meeting a bunch of awesome weird people.

Once I finish Daring Greatly, I will be writing a full review. But I just wanted to share my personal thoughts on this, because looking into your darker feelings can be really helpful. We can grow once we can figure out –what am I afraid people will know about me? Why do I feel I don’t deserve what I want?

Whether it is love, money, friendship, understanding, acceptance, truth, or your dreams, I think everyone deserves to have what they really want. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, and really if you are “lit up” in life, you will be helping others and enriching the world. It’s not selfishness, it is embracing your gift to the world.

These past two weeks I have been battling shame and limitations in order to find my true purpose. To be ok with not making a ton of money right now while I plan and grow the business that will really make me happy. To let go of the shameful feelings that accompany quitting a job or making my boyfriend mad or coming up with a business idea that turns out not to pan out.

Making mistakes is part of life. Someone will always disapprove of what you do or the way you do it. Even if you pretend you are super boring and never take any risks. I guarantee it, because I’ve tried that, too. 

In order to do great things, risks are necessary. Don’t let yourself avoid the risks because of the possibility of shame. And if you’re having trouble of that, please feel free to contact me because I can so empathize!

Stay amazing,