Headed to my 10 year reunion I can’t help but remember when it all changed…
I studied political science at an elite women’s college. I shouted, “Down with the patriarchy,” with my sisters. And one day, after graduation, I realized that the one person standing in the way of my happiness was myself, because I did not allow it of myself.
I didn’t believe I deserved to feel good because I wasn’t “far enough” in my life. There were so many reasons not to feel good. I wasn’t “done” lining up the career, the job, the boyfriend, friends were mad at me, my apartment had a crack in the ceiling, I didn’t make enough money, I didn’t know who I was yet, etc.
There was always something saying inside of me, “I can’t feel good now.”
I finally let go of why or how that limiting belief got there, whether it was the patriarchy, capitalism, classism, something about me or the people who had treated me badly, and I just took responsibility upon myself and said, “I’m sick of this. It’s time to feel good. As good as I can, like it’s the goal. It’s the project.”
Nothing anyone else told me was working. I had taken action on the typical roadmap to happiness, the hard work, good grades, great college, etc. But instead of being sore about how I put all that work in and it didn’t seem to amount to anything that made me feel good, I decided to try to figure out my own way.
I always pray that it will be in the healthiest, most highly aligned way, with no harm to other people…but in the end it comes down to am I willing to feel good?
And when I say, “YES, I DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD SO I WILL,” I know, this isn’t even really about me. This is my higher calling. This is rising above the cycle of endless suffering.
This is the true revolution for all of us as human beings.
May we learn through joy from now on, and no longer need suffering to guide us on our spiritual paths. It’s a new day. A new order. And I choose love. I choose to feel good. Will you?
Feeling good is not about you. Self love is NOT about you. When you love yourself, you give others permission to do the same, and you inspire them to feel better. By helping yourself, you change the world.
On my path to feel good, I learned that feeling healthy pleasure is about embracing, channeling and joining with the divine feminine.
The divine feminine is my jam. I’ve always been much more attracted to divine feminine energy than the masculine in spirituality. I feel it is my mission to write, express and be in this energy as much as possible. That’s my gift to the world. That’s the secret we’ve been looking for. It is the medicine our society needs.
It’s because our culture is so masculine.
I’m not speaking about patriarchy, although, ask me to and I will surely wax on for hours. I’m talking about the drive to produce. This is something I have naturally had in me from a young age: the urge to be of use in some way, to be productive, to produce results, to progress to the next level in a goal or in a project. I didn’t feel right unless I was working towards the completion of the goal. This is a very masculine drive and I’ve naturally integrated it.
To be honest, often I met my goal and then felt nothing: no lasting satisfaction. This is a bad sign. This is a sign that the goal was not led by spirit, but by ego. Ego doesn’t feed the spirit.
My spirit demanded more feminine!
To complete a project so that it is satisfying and rewarding, there must be both feminine and masculine components.
If you make a living writing, creating and/or serving others, then you have to sustainably find a balance between these different forces or you will burn out. You just can’t tap into spirituality, creativity and empathy without the feminine sustaining you. Which means you’ll fail to produce good work or help people anymore if you don’t receive feminine pleasures in your life.
And yes, okay, maybe, you don’t *need* to do this for work. For some jobs, you *can* burn out and still keep going through the motions…but then that’s sad—isn’t there more to life? Why not feel good in your body? Why not embrace feeling awesome as a higher calling?
Of course your ego will tell you, “I would, but I can’t because…” Yes, there are people around the world starving, suffering, who really can’t change their lives at all…but I’m going to guess if you are reading this then you have a modicum of choice. And if you still don’t think like you have power to feel any differently than you do now, because it is just that bad, give this a shot:
Decide to see it a different way. Just decide to be open.
Here’s a prayer you can use to help you be more open to solutions on this:
Goddess, how can I enjoy my life more? How can I end the things that cause me suffering? How can I be open to see that I can have more pleasure in my life and enjoy it all the more? Is it possible for me? Help me to see how.
Or modify it for your words to make sense to you. Prayer is feminine to me because it creates openness. When you are just the tiniest bit open, amazing things happen.
That’s what the feminine is all about. It’s about manifesting desires you didn’t even know you had, in a way that’s better than you asked and prayed for. It feels so good.
To me feeling good is about feeling beautiful, sexy, successful, and accomplished—just for breathing air, just by being myself. It’s that feeling of, “I made it!”
I’ve found this place also creates better writing and creating, and draws a crowd.
Find a way to feel good to help others. It’s not about you.
If you’d like to make faster progress in a way that feels really good, Contact me about how I can help you.
See my full list of services here.
