Surrender & Boundaries

by SofiaWren April 21, 2022

Today, I want to make a note about how I see surrender when it comes to boundaries, AND share some awesome and inspiring quotes that people really like. ? I used to feel like I had to be strong all the time–I had relationships where I was the rock and everyone would lean on me. That came from the way I grew up, where trying to be in control and be strong against a torrent of negativity was how I got through a lot of intense things. And it feels good to help people. But the problem was that it was really wearing me down. Turns out this approach does’t really work for me. NOTE: This includes not just people in my life, but also my business work, my writing, and interactions on social media. And the only want to get out of it was to change, and I was afraid everything would come tumbling down. But finally it all was just too much to hold up and I had to let it drop. ? So what happened when I collapsed and let things go?

Some relationships and projects were unfixable and I had to end my involvement in them.
Some of those relationships were fixable when I changed them to fit new boundaries.

? But my favorite thing that happened was: in the empty space, I drew in some new relationships and projects that started giving me support and energy, rather than always requiring it to be the other way around. Like my adorable fiance! And now we are in love. I say this because when it comes to boundaries, you may think surrendering means letting people walk all over you. I see it as the opposite. For me, surrendering really means accepting that I need boundaries, accepting how I work is not going to change that much, and figuring out when I need to just listen to myself versus approaching life as a “grit and bear it” process. Trying to change myself so that I fit XYZ situation–like when I was trying to be strong–is actually me trying to be in control. It is me grasping. It is me contorting. It is me people pleasing. It is me trying to be perfect. It is me hiding behind who I think I need to be, instead of surrendering to who I am. ? Letting myself

rest when I need to,
pursue writing and creative projects I like that the whole world might not like,
change my business model to fit the real me and the way I like to work instead of how other people do it.

HAS CHANGED MY LIFE. FOR THE BETTER. ? And it started with embracing this concept of Surrender. A great book on this topic is, “The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection” by Michael A. Singer. Here are a few of his inspirational quotes for you to chew on and decide what surrender means for YOU. xo ?

“I could see that the practice of surrender was actually done in two, very distinct steps: first, you let go of the personal reactions of like and dislike that form inside your mind and heart; and second, with the resultant sense of clarity, you simply look to see what is being asked of you by the situation unfolding in front of you.” ? “How could I possibly explain the great freedom that comes from realizing to the depth of your being that life knows what it’s doing?” ? “Time and again I was seeing that if I could handle the winds of the current storm, they would end up blowing in some great gift… Challenging situations create the force needed to bring about change. The problem is that we generally use all the stirred up energy intended to bring about change, to resist change. ? “Clearly remember deciding that from now on if life was unfolding in a certain way, and the only reason I was resisting it was because of a personal preference, I would let go of my preference and let life be in charge.” ? “My formula for success was very simple: Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe itself – because it was.” ? “Because I had inwardly surrendered each step of the way, no scars were left of my psyche. It had been like writing on water – the impressions only lasted while the events were actually taking place.” ? “Surrender – what an amazingly powerful world. It often engenders the thought of weakness and cowardice. In my case, it required all the strength I had to be brave enough to follow the invisible into the unknown.” ?

Remember what works for someone else may not work for you! And that can be okay! ? P.P.S. In my coaching to help sensitive people to write and create for their books or businesses, I help them find unique ways to move forward in a way that fits them. If that sounds interesting, contact me here. I’ll send you information about my offerings and we can discuss if they are right for you.