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| Creatrix: Laura Gallagher |
Lately I have been doing a boatload of self-work. I have been practicing my Chakra Readings, massaging, continuing to learn more from my new intuitive teacher, and honing in on something essential to business and life success: SELF LOVE.
What does power have to do with Self Love? They are definitely two different things but for me they have been connected.
In the past I have given away my self love and my power in exchange for connection with, love from, and protection by others.
But I finally did some examining on this one (Many thanks to Melissa’s RPT at Empower the Light Within)
I’m not the only one. Coming out into the world with fresh eyes I don’t even need to leave my apartment building to see evidence of other people making this same bargain.
Problem is no one knows what you need better than you do and as a group people will do all of those things badly.
I can list so many times where I ended up distraught, disappointed, heart broken, ignored, shunted aside, and otherwise feeling like crap because someone I relied on did not give me what I deserve.
At the time I might not even have fully accepted that I deserved more. Without self-love, my self-worth was hanging on a thread and based mostly on what other people thought of me.
Sucky.
There is one little addendum to taking up your power. You have to start disappointing people! I’ve talked about this some, but it’s a spectrum. I’m finally putting myself in the queen seat, and if it doesn’t work for me, I’m not doin it.
What does it matter if I disappoint someone so hard they don’t like me? ‘Well they won’t offer me love and protection..probably. But there are other people. Because now that my self-love isn’t based on the reactions other people have to everything I do I can finally do my own thing, even if no one else likes it.
I don’t mean to say I don’t care about anyone. I do. Oh, I do. I want to please all the people ever forever. Believe me, that’s my autopilot mode, but god is it tiring and impossible to do.
I won’t say I don’t get upset when I get a voicemail that asks me to step beyond what I can do, and worry about the conversation. But I’m over the hill, I am learning the need to pull away.
That desire to please and that mean inner voice are unhelpful. Sure it’s still there. But it doesn’t have the power. I DO. We fight a little, but I trust my intuition not my fear.
In meditation I asked myself what I needed most to get my goals. The answer was loud and clear—Make your goals and self a priority in your life.
I quit another job….It’s my last part time job. It wasn’t easy. By late June I will be self employed officially, all the way and with no desire to ever go back. That is just not what is best for this Sofia. Hear hear.
