Sofia Wren’s Journal: Bursting Full Moon

The Durga Girls Alana and Ali with me at Karma Fest May 25

Another month forward on the journey to grow my creative business that will allow me to be authentic and help people in the most profound way possible. This has been a very intense month. At times it really has been a struggle to pick myself up and keep going. The reason is that as I push forward now, I am crossing over from the developmental stage into manifesting into reality.

Time to drop the limitations. Time to heal the wounds. Time to drop the crappy beliefs about what I am worth, about what I can DO not just think and scribble on my to do list. Who I can help, who would possibly give me money to help them. Maybe you can relate—maybe you follow your passions for free with enthusiasm, but as soon as you think about charging money, a whole chorus of negative voices comes out to play.

Two days ago for the first time ever, I organized myself and headed to KarmaFest as a vender for the festival. All week long I was crazy busy gathering all my supplies, putting together forms and materials to hand out.

I made a brand new sign for my business Manifest Goddess.

I planned to hang it on my tent–a brand new pop up tent complete with flaps to keep my massage clients private.

It was a very sunny but windy day. Within an hour of putting up the tent and staking it, the whole thing fell over. The metal crumpled and I didn’t feel certain I could put it back up and keep my clients safe. So I had to ditch it 🙁 I did my best to stay positive for the rest of the day. Only bad thing was that I ended up getting bad sunburn on my hands! Never had that before but hand sanitizer makes skin more sensitive.

Apparently you can buy weights for a tent. Life is a learning experience.

I taped the sign to my tent and tied it with rope. Slowly everything fell over and I had to tape it in place. My flowers kept falling so I had to rope them to the bottom of my table. While waiting for clients I gave my partners and our friend freebies. For three hours sitting by my table my friend had barely said a word. During the ceremony I spotted a bunch of dark junk gathered at his throat chakra and cleared it out with reiki, a visualization technique, my flute, crystals, and my singing. He sat up on the table and was talking a mile a minute! We both felt great afterwards.

By late afternoon it was still windy and chilly and I had had very little work so far. My friends packed up but I stayed. Because I stuck it out, a whole crowd of clients paid me a visit during the second half of the day, even though I’d had only one paying client the previous five hours! Thanks to that, I learned something new about myself: my massage specialty of neck pain and migraine relief. This must be because any time I eat wheat, my neck tightens up and I have to massage it back into shape. Super good to know how I can set myself apart!

I’ve had special training, too, but maybe my personal experience is why one woman said I was only one of three therapists to be able to relieve her neck pain in 23 years! Wahoo. Her neck spasms made her feel so awful that her daughter feared they’d have to leave the festival. I enjoyed relieving her pain and talking to these two very cool ladies.

After the massage she felt so great that many hours later at the end of the night they came back to say goodbye and another thank you. I got a lot of questions on what chakras are, what the readings are for, and how sound healing works. I’ll be making some Youtube videos about these topics soon. These newer services really excite me and light me up to share. All in all it’s been a productive month but there is still a lot on my plate to build my business.

For those of you out there building a business or working on a creative project, the most important thing is to keep on going. 

I would never have made it to KarmaFest if I let the doubts reign. If I listened to the little voices that said I couldn’t hack it or my business cards weren’t perfect, and I haven’t updated my site yet, and blah blah blah

Nothing is ever perfect. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

I had my dips, like when I walked away from the florist being pissed they put yellow flowers in my bouquet rather than white (arrgh now it will look crazy on my paisley tablecloth!) or when I realized the face rest for the massage table disappeared the morning I had to go (solution–better buy some pillowcases before I hit the highway). 

This month has been one of the hardest of my journey into self-employment. For weeks I have been journaling through my blocks, digging deep to decide where to focus my coaching, finding myself on the verge of tears, feeling like how can I possibly do this? Anytime I found myself stepping closer to what I should be doing, a whole new obstacle course has revealed itself inside my mindbody and spirit.

Getting started is really hard. It takes courage, it takes faith, and it takes huge mountains of self-love. Be gentle. But I did it. I made back the money to pay for the rent of the space. Gave out lots of cards, learned some new things, and I’m better prepared for everything I do going on. Thank goodness I stayed.

Break downs are often on the edge of breakthroughs. Push forward. Make a to do list. Start with the top. 

You can do it. 

I didn’t think I could. And I couldn’t in the shape I was in one month ago. I had to use all the pressure of this month to burst into someone bigger. 

Easy? No. Worth it? Definitely. 

xx Sofia Wren