Space is probably the last thing type “A” people add to their to-do list, but it’s the key to productivity and happiness.

Lately, I’ve been reminding a number of my sensitive clients about how important it is. We’re talking work-life balance, better boundaries, prioritizing what’s really important, and taking decent breaks.

It’s a little thing called Space to Breath. Space to Think. Space to have fun. Space to Enjoy Living.

One way you can catch up for lost time and regain clarity around the big picture is by taking a personal retreat. It is an investment in your energy, motivation, self-worth and focus that will definitely pay itself back many times over.

Today I’ll be sharing about the retreat I took this week, the challenges and the benefits.

Here’s a five minute video on the topic of Space and Retreat to Relieve Stress and Overwhelm

The biggest challenge for me is getting dates on the calendar so it will really happen. During the post-holiday season, I came up with the idea to take a retreat, and figured I might as well take it sooner rather than later.

To make sure I’d get that idea on the calendar I shared my dream at two networking meetings. I love On Purpose Women in Maryland. This was deliberately instead of a work goal because I work all the time, but I’ve never taken a trip by myself without crashing at a friend’s.

If I didn’t get someone to hold me accountable, I’d  roll forward into the year without creating the SPACE I needed. 

My group also helped remind me to keep setting goals each week like deciding what city to stay in, researching bed and breakfasts (Thanks Bella Vista B&N in Philadelphia), brainstorming activities, booking personal care appointments, adding information about stores, restaurants, and activities to a list on my phone, and of course packing.

Scheduling appointments creates it own challenges: if you are only retreating for a few days, it requires careful balance not to over schedule yourself.

Remember the goal is space, but you have your own preferences. Will it help you to know what movie time to go to? To have your nail appointment set? Or is flexibility and spontaneity nicer? I definitely recommend booking massage or haircuts in advance, so you can get the practitioner and time you want.

Personally, I ended up making only one: my massage appointment since my favorite hairguy disappeared from Philly and I could walk in to get a pedicure.

Packing: the earlier the better, and the less the better.

I have a personal block around packing. Whether I travel internationally, or to a friend’s house, I always seem to be doing things last minute, pack too many things, and forget something of importance trying to get out the door. This time was no different! But I did make my massage appointment in time, which I had deliberately scheduled early to force myself to get on the road.

But if I had bothered to check my premade packing list-I would have remembered a few things!

I was more concerned with what books and notebooks to bring. I always have grandiose notions of what I will get done on a trip– read through all my journals, write a todo list with everything I’ll do for months. Yeah didn’t touch it. You can leave most books at home, or do a Coco Chanel and remove something right before you go. 

And then there’s the challenge of what really happens on a retreat. You can’t control weather, or your mood.

It snowed while I was away so I didn’t go walking around the city like I had planned. I didn’t do all the things on my list.  No pedicure. I got stuck in a weird part of the city exploring and it would have been too much hassle to get to the art museum to sketch. I got a parking ticket, rats! But that’s ok.

Remember that the point of the retreat isn’t the appointments, or the activities, it’s the SPACE to let yourself be you.

Be sure to leave some flexibility in your schedule, allow yourself to reschedule things if necessary, so that you can make the experience what you are in the mood for. It’s time to give yourself your every whim! Even if it’s doing a lot of nothing.

You don’t need to do something exciting so you can tell other people about it. This is your time.

Also, keep your eyes open for any “stuff” that comes up. 

I have to admit the first night of my retreat was weird. I didn’t really want to get into the notebooks I brought, so I just watched TV. I thought did I really come all this way to watch a buzzing TV. But yes, I did, and it was what I needed.

And since I get lonely at night, I reached out to a local friend and we got together for dinner on day 2. Yay! Fun.

By the second day I was able to pin point a few of the anxieties that got in my way. This is called “The Breakdown before the Breakthrough” and you can read the blog about it here. 

I used EFT to regain calm when I was feeling a little weird about not working on anything and just chilling out. 

As I’ve mentioned previously, I did get a ticket on Day 3 of my retreat. It felt really unfair because a pile of ice prevented me from backing up enough– and it was $75.

I could have let it get me down. I could have punished myself with negative self talk or refusing to spend money on the next thing I wanted to do.

Instead when things didn’t get my way, I paused to breath, and name everything I was grateful for in that moment. 

It’s a sure fire way to get your head back where it should be– appreciating yourself. 

And in the last minute, when I couldn’t make it to the Philadelphia Art Museum because there was a detour in West Philly, I did something even better. I decided to visit my alma mater.

The whole experience of the retreat was incredibly powerful for me and here’s what I got out of it.

I regained a sense of vision around all the projects I have planned for the year ahead. My ideas have begun to take form, shape and color, like they are almost ready to pop out into reality.

Even more important I’ve gotten in touch with how valuable my time really is— how this space is helping me, and how in order to reach many many people with courses and books, I need to be realistic about my capacity for private clients. But I feel really good about it, because I’ll create more impact.

(I have a special ending this weekend, so if you’d like to work together, I highly suggest reserving your spot now. Due to my limited time, I will soon be taking my general scheduler down for a time and and speaking to me will be by application only.) 

And I got in touch with how valuable I really am. I saw the world in my special way, and how I’ve grown from five years ago when I lived or studied in Philadelphia. I could see how much I’ve grown and how much I really do have to offer.  I saw visions and signs leading me to the Sofia Wren I am meant to be in the future, and in a way, now that I’ve connected with that, that brilliant future self exists right now, too, lighting my path with love.

So was it worth the approximately $500 I spent on hotel, great food, massage, a new pair of earrings, art supplies, frames for the house, and that parking ticket?

Yup. Every penny.

And so I gave myself a little space to post this just a tad bit late. 🙂

See you next time, and remember to reserve your spot today for intuitive readings and coaching, so you can overcome fear and uncertainty in your life. Sensitive, caring people who see the world a different way deserve happiness and calm, too.

Gain more love this Valentine’s season by celebrating your inner beauty.

Enjoy this special mermaid meditation to bring your beauty out for all to see– including you.

And afterwards are quick writing exercises to bring you confidence.

After the opening this live event begins with a discussion of mermaids and expressing inner beauty.

The Quick Option:
At 15:55 is the mermaid meditation to bring out your inner beauty and draw more love to you

At 27:56 try the quick sacred writing exercises to bring you more self-love and confidence

If you’d like to explore the therapeutic benefits of writing, apply for a free session with Sofia Wren

Or focus on your soul beauty by applying for a free session with Pamela Chen.

Peace. Love. Happiness. Here’s your free tarot and oracle card reading for the next month.

Now you’ll know what opportunities to take advantage of during this time of year.

There are two ways to enjoy this reading:

1. The quick version:

Scroll to 42:24 where I give a free reading for all watching and for everyone drawn to watch the replay (that’s you!)

2. The in-depth version:

A full hour of insight from how to be happier, things to know about clearing space and more. You are sure to gain inspiration from enjoying the full session as it’s intended to address the concerns for the live guests AND everyone who watches the video this month.

Apply for free personal attention from Sofia Wren,

Certified Ethical Intuitive Consultant known for her spot on intuition and healing presence.

Success with Sofia:

The reading has been an experience for me! I have never, ever, ever had anything like this done before, ever. Not palms, or cards or anything.

When I read your story, it really spoke to me. I knew it was time. I confess there was an element of “testing” for me, to see if you could see me…and you did, beautifully.

I was looking for a specific answer and I literally, almost fell off the sofa when you said it. I was seriously blown away when you said that! Everything you said in the video just was spot on; like you were reading the words off my soul. So, “how was the reading,” you asked? It was pretty cool! Thanks!

Ready to resolve fear and uncertainty? Schedule a session with Sofia

About 15 years ago when I first started to read about spiritual techniques, “grounding” was highlighted as an essential skill. But it never worked.

Books and teachers promised if I grounded every day I’d be calmer, cooler and more in touch with the earth.

What’s funny is that it took me 10 years to understand what it is, really, and find a way to make it work for me.

I wanted to believe there was something to energy work, or guided meditations but nothing I tried had any effect besides leaving me frustrated and dissatisfied! Sheer determination is the only reason I figured it out.

This week I’ll be discussing grounding for non-earth types: people who definitely need to feel more grounded but who can’t feel a difference when teachers guide them to envision trees, sink their energy into the earth, etc.

In the future, I will discuss other techniques such as centering, shielding and clearing energy, all essentials to stay calm and collected in the hustle bustle world. Especially if you are a sensitive person, this stuff is key.

OK back to our grounded discussion.  So what is grounding?

Grounding is a practice of releasing excess, frantic or distracting energy from the body by becoming more in touch with the present moment, our physical anatomy, and the earth.

“Airy fair” spiritual people are not the only ones who need to do this: if you spend a lot of time anticipating other people’s concerns, you’ve been emotionally triggered by a bad movie or fight, you can’t stop checking your email, traffic is making you angry, or you’ve just been trolling around on the internet (hah! caught you), then you could benefit from this, too.

Basically any one feeling stressed, busy, harried, worried, anxious, distracted, sad, spacey, all over the place, unfocused, or anything other than calm, cool and collected can gain immediate benefits by grounding. If they do it right that is.

The thing is that a lot of people take the word “grounding” for granted. About 90% of the teachers I have had instruct students to connect with the center of the earth as a grounding exercise.

This may be difficult for you.

First off some people don’t understand how using the imagination can do anything physical to our bodies.

Scientific studies have shown that envisioning exercise can actually build muscle without moving an inch. What we imagine CAN have a measurable effect on our physical bodies. See The Brain that Heals Itself by Norman Doidge

Second some people just aren’t the earthy type!

In the Indian tradition of doshas, certain people are more energetically aligned with elements other than the earth like air and fire. I personally like to expand that line of thinking to other elements like water, or even wood and metal from the Chinese tradition.

My overall point is maybe you aren’t a tree or earth kinda person! And 90% of books and spiritual teachers are telling you to imagine you are a tree or to reach your energy into the earth? Would they tell a flame or a babbling brook to grow roots?

The only reason I am able to follow the directions of those teachers today is that years ago I began working with a different visualization. As I discuss in the youtube video guided meditation I made a year ago the cauldron has all the elements.

Finally I found the missing piece! For the first time I actually felt like those visualizations I was doing had an effect on my body.

Personally I feel enthralled that there is so much more to life than the earth, I love fire and water and air and wood and metal and spirit and wireless internet.

You need to know yourself and to find the visual symbols that resonate with you, so don’t just visualize a tree, visualize what you need to.

Do your thing even if a teacher talks about roots, so that you can shift your emotions. And if you don’t know what do instead, then try it all!!

I planned to make a video to lead you through this but it won’t upload right now. I’ll get it to you soon. Instead I did make a new video based on last week’s post on the Breakdown before the Breakthrough. 

 Try this experiment to help you find visuals that work for you. Woohoo!

Let’s try this:

Try feeling into the earth like water slurping down a drain flowing down to meet streams deep below.

Sink into the earth like a heavy anchor meeting molten steel in the center of the earth.

Feel your fire spreading down to meet the fires of magma.

Let your winds swirls through the earth’s pores to tunnel in hidden caves.

Then try that tree.

If you have any trouble, contact me for a free session to develop a personal practice that works for you, so you feel calm, collected and ready to rock the world. <3

Or attend the live event and Q&A to learn more about working with your intuition, Certified Ethical Intuitive Consultant Sofia Wren. Thursday Feb 5 2014 on G+ and Facebook

Swimming upstream? About to hit the next level in your life? Almost done your project?

Well, darlin’ prepare for the breakdown before the breakthrough—- it’s a rite of passage every person must face to develop themselves or improve their life.

The bigger the change you want, the bigger the potential breakdown.

Often, this happens right before you reach success, so you have to keep the faith, and keep pursuing that dream anyway.

Or maybe it’s not a breakdown before the breakthrough, but instead a breakthrough before the break down. Even smaller improvements–an amazing day, a new success–can be immediately followed by a breakdown.

Think about the last time you “upleveled” your life. Did you get praise, reach a goal, have a great date, receive important news, and then immediately after your happy moment, find yourself down in the dumps? Did some other area of your life collapse?

Do you remember experiencing a breakdown before a breakthrough? These are usually a little more difficult to remember because they are overshadowed by the positive moments, but keep the question out there and it may come to you.

Noticing this pattern–the tug and pull of life—will empower you to have faith in yourself and your ability to create improvements like happiness and peace. When our dreams don’t match reality, we need to keep high morale.

I think we’d all like more happiness and joy, more love and success, and perhaps even a little more $? Yes I bet you wouldn’t say no to a few more good things. But your unconscious might.

We all have what Gay Hendrix calls the “Upper Limit Problem.” In his book The Big Leap, he describes how we all have an inner thermastat–a certain tolerance for goodness in our lives. When we cross the threshold into unknown territory (basically more overall awesomeness) scale tips too far. This alerts our subconscious mind that something is out of the typical equilibrium and inevitably we are drawn to find something to be upset about– petty fights with loved ones, an accident, a tech crisis, old heartache, or something else.

Sure feelings come up, but we never have to be devastated by things that happen in our lives. Whether or not it really is a big deal, we can still choose not to become fully emotionally invested. We could always be grateful for what we have and do our best to make the most of the situation. This allows us to hold on to the positive aspects of our experience.

If you find yourself experiencing your Upper Limit or going through a breakdown, ask yourself what you were feeling before the breakdown happened. Try to get back in touch with that and back on track.

Something that is absolutely necessary when coming across a breakdown, whenever it happens is to pause and breath. Then:

1. Do not blame yourself or call yourself weak, etc. This is all a part of the process of growing! Congrats, you are on to something. Try saying this to yourself, “Of course I feel this way. I make sense.”

2. Get space to relax, take care of yourself and process. You could meditate, journal, talk to a coach or friend, get a massage or whatever works for you.

3. Pat yourself on the back for continuing to seek improvements. Find something to celebrate and decide to see the glass as half full rather than half empty.

4. Remind yourself of your big why– why are you doing what you are doing? What are you building? Is what you were seeking still relevant? What lays before you on the path to your goals or desired experiences? Organize your todos, and decide what manageable bite you will tackle and what you will enlist others to help you with….tomorrow.. because today you need a break!

Good luck

xx Sofia Wren

I help sensitive, caring individuals who have a different perspective of the world to overcome their struggles with uncertainty and fear.

I help them express their unique perspective and personal journey so they may be a better, more confident version of themselves.

Whether you are an entrepreneur, a writer, or artist, if you’d like to overcome fear of your true purpose, and feel safe expressing yourself, so that you can help more people in the world and better your life–

Request a free 15 minute Down to Paper Session to gain clarity on what you are here to write or create for your book, business or other project 

Many of the people I work with are unhappy. Hate their job, work too much, and not in a way that feels authentic and honest about who they really are. But even though they resent that, are sick of it, they feel stuck because they need to pay the bills. They just don’t know what else to do.

Maybe you are like this– I’ve been through this several times and I’m only 26.

I’m like you– I thought if I followed the rules, put in the time, and worked hard to attain the goals other people called “successful” then I would feel successful.

I’d have enough money, and enough time to rest. I’d be happy and have lots of friends–bcause I’m successful and that’s what happens, right?

But life doesn’t really work like that, does it?

Getting in touch with what is really important is the only way to see real happiness come true in your life.

This is something I can help you with. I’ve always been good at reading between the lines and helping other people to see their situation in a more positive light.

Getting clear about what is really the true definition of success for ourselves is necessary. But it can also be hard to do alone.

Why? It’s so hard  because it’s easy for you  to feel like there must be something wrong with you if “success” and the life you worked so hard to create aren’t satisfying and fulfilling you.

I know this sucks!

The good news is that once you know what you are looking for, you can bring it into your life within the month.

In this video I share my definition  of success: freedom, spontaneity, ending work at a reasonable hour and talking to you, and how it differs from a more mainstream approach.

I even cut corners on lighting and making sure the camera didn’t point at one of the ugliest spots in my new house (of course it’s the one only I usually see) but what’s important is I got it done. I made it a part of my point: for me the definition of success is putting myself out there in the first place, even if it’s not perfect. That way I can go back to chilling out and enjoying life.

Watch for  suggestions to get clear on your definition of success in 2014 for happiness and balance.

Still have questions about where to go from here? Work with me in-depth– only 4 spots are left this year at the time of this writing: https://sofiawren.com/cut-the-confusion-embrace-a-clear-path-for-2014/

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Many people desire to write a book. For years they’ve said they will write it one day, or if they are motivated enough to actually try, that it’s almost done, just needs a little more editing.

I include myself in this: I’ve been saying for a while that I’m this close to being done one of my many manuscripts.

For the last year five years I’ve been trying to write a novel. I’ve always loved reading them but I could never have imagined how much work writing a book is!

It’s no wonder many people never do.

This week I have promised to send my readers a new draft of my book, currently entitled From Girl To Goddess. I’m not sure when I began this book, perhaps August of 2012. It’s January of 2014 and I’m pulling out all the stops to kick my own butt and get this baby done as soon as possible.

Strange thing is…I feel like it’s finally happening. I’m getting near the end. Slowly I feel the cord connecting me to the book thinning.

Maybe I’m just sick of it. Maybe I’m ready to stop working on this and move on to my other manuscript (ok kinda a little).

But it’s more than that. The art I had been crafting has taken a life of its own. When I get stuck I take a moment to meditate and connect to my book: the etheral form in which is it already completed, already finished and I just have to tap into that image and listen to the way it would like to be shaped.

I am sensing that this book is getting all grown up and it’s almost time to leave the nest. How bittersweet.

Often when we are in a situation in life we are used to– good or bad– we get comfortable. Sudden changes even for the better can be jarring– oh my god it’s freaking me out to get my life in order! What, my book is on it’s way out to readers? Weird.

Part of me feels like a mom with empty nest syndrome. Another part of me feels satisfied. Another part of me is ready for the next creative endeavor. Another part of me is like oh god now I need to sell this to people. Another part of me knows there are one or two more rounds of edits left with my readers and a professional editor. That part wants to kick itself or something. Ok that’s a lot of slices of Sofia Wren.

I just wanted to take pause in the midst of the busy to jot a note down for someone at an earlier stage of their creative work.

Dear Writer:

Keep at it, but even though we desire so badly to be done our opus, the hardest part of the creative process may be letting it go, just like turning the final page of a really good book.

Do you have dreams of writing?

I help sensitive women who are drained by the needs of others and struggling to find the time to write so that they can become confident and motivated to fully express themselves.

Book a free 15 minute Vision session to get fired up about your book or blog ideas and get pen to paper asap.

Being a leader means standing out, being different, and for me at least–that’s terrifying.

Recently, I found myself raising my hand in a networking event to offer an internship. Everyone else in the room I had just entered, was offering a spot at a nonprofit or department of the government.

“Do I really have to raise my hand?” I asked my intuition. 

Yes, it answered.

Yes, it repeated, a little stronger this time.

Dammit. As a Certified Ethical Intuitive Consultant, it’s my job to listen to that inner voice. I did ask for guidance, choosing to ignore it would be a bad idea. Believe me, worse than public speaking.

This video describes how I got through fear and doubt to confidence as a leader:

I raised my hand, introduced myself as Sofia Wren, self employed and started describing what I was looking for: an internet marketing intern. 

Suddenly someone shouted from the back something like, “What department are you?”

A flood of embarassment and nerves hit me. Of course I was going to say what I did but I was derailed by the interruption, “I’m an intuitive…a life coach?” It’s not exactly how I’d sum myself up, but at the moment it was all I thought this crowd could understand.

Then came the flood of things I hadn’t said: my certification, I’m a writer, I help big hearted sensitive people write books, calm their fears, change their lives, reclaim their voice and power. Oh and I could have sounded more articulate..argh.

I had traveled from my home in Baltimore, Md, to the event in Washinton, D.C., home of the federal government. Talk about stuffy.

Most people turned their head away to listen to the next NGO or government opportunity, and at first I worried no one would want to talk to me. 

But when we came back to mingle, people kept approaching me. It was a small slice of the whole room, but I always had someone to talk to.

Two class members from school found me to catch up, yay friends! And I gave my card to three current students interested in my work, my intern opportunity, and the way I call people out to call themselves a writer even if they think they aren’t yet. An older alumnae with a swirly mandala necklace found me to pick my brain about coaching. 

And what I realized is that the definition of a leader is to do what other people are afraid to do: stand out.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, sure. There’s a reason why I don’t use my Political Science B.A. to work for the government. I’m just gonna say I can intuit some people could sure be having a lot more fun. But I chose to stand out in a way no one else did and everyone could.

When we can battle the fear and be who we really are– instantly we attract the people we are meant to serve, lead and inspire.

On my way home, I battled feelings of not being enough. I know it’s common but it is a powerful block to confidence and happiness. In my free ecourse I call this the number one mistake that luminaries make.

I repeated the phrases I recommend in the lesson, “I am enough. I did enough. I did my best. I am OK the way I am. I am sufficient.”

The bad feelings were compounded by the traffic on the way home. Suddenly I remembered this little trick: I have decided….

Repeat after Me:

“I have decided that I am enough.

I have decided that I am sufficient.

I have decided that I am OK.

I have decided that I am perfect the way I am.”

And that’s when the fire rolled in my belly and stuck the whole hour home through the cold to my warm toasty home filled with love.

I’m different, it’s obvious. I have decided that I am leader– if you stand out, maybe you’re a leader, too.

Blessings

xx Sofia Wren

P.S. Are you ready for your dreams for 2014? Could you use some direction, clarification or confirmation that you are on the right track?

I recommend this month’s New Years Tarot Reading Special for an affordable and insightful answer to your biggest questions about 2014.

Get the success you deserve!

What do you need to know BEFORE you make or act on your goals? The answer is your priority—and it’s not what you think!

I always thought my priority was my work, or maybe producing page after page of writing. But it took until my 26th year on this earth to figure out that work is not my number one priority after all.

The reason I know this is true is because I’ve made work my priority for over a decade now, and I can’t say it has ever increased my happiness by itself. Work just creates money which allows me other things I need to survive. But survival is not happiness.

In the past I’ve started the year by jumping into goals. This isn’t step one! I learned that it should be setting your priority from Chalene Johnson’s Smart Success Program, and it’s completely changed my life and the way I perform Tarot and Oracle Card readings for the Year Ahead.

Most people I know and serve have a tendency to go to extremes. It’s easy to get focused on one area of life and go all out–think 50 hour weeks, a huge todo list for your new business, financially struggling so you can finish your book.

To get balance in our life we probably need to look at our Achille’s heel. THAT is probably the real area that should be our priority.

I’ve created a short video on the topic, which I will share with you today. I hope this inspires you to find more balance in the year ahead by focusing on what is really important–not just dumping all your time and energy in one area year after year.

Leave a comment to let me know your priority from the last year, how it served you, and if you’ll change it in the year ahead

And if you need help clarifying your priority and fitting it into your life, get in touch with your intuition through my private coaching and readings available in 30 or 60 minute sessions as well as my incredible 2014 In-depth Intuitive Success Plan.