What should you be doing right NOW?

There are so many things to do. What is first?

I believe in perfect timing: there is a way to maximize this moment so that everything else feels better and easier.

For example, I followed this technique and found the perfect time to call my bank. I’ve tried several times over the past month and had to hang up because I was waiting too long, but I really wanted to reduce my business loan interest. After doing this meditation, I ended up deciding to call again. I finally got through with zero wait time. Now I have three months with zero interest! It felt so good to get that off my list. It gave me momentum so that I got a ton of other things done, too. When I relaxed at the end of the day, I just felt so proud of myself.

Use this video to get clear and motivated on what is next for you. You’ll know what to do next because you are that tuned into your intuition. Watch the video or hear the audio below.

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It’s the name of my latest article, now published in On Purpose Woman Magazine.

Check it out and read other soul-enriching articles in this free online magazine.

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We live in a ‘fix it’ society. We seek the magic pill to make things stop. We turn the channel and avoid looking at issues. We run away or act delusional. We like to dismiss rather than consider. We hope to move on quickly and never look back.

Some things aren’t so simple. In life if you feel bad, you aren’t necessarily doing something wrong that needs fixing. There may actually be something right with you that other people do not understand. You may not understand yourself, either. So many of us are perpetually lost but do not realize it until we have gotten far, far away from our center. All of this human and as far as I know there is no pill for it, and I wouldn’t have it another way.

Lately “Care of the Soul” by Thomas Moore has been on my nightstand. It’s a book I began as I studied for my Masters in Spiritual Direction. I’ve been quiet about the skills I’ve developed in helping people through difficult times because spiritual caring is hard to put in words. His are some of the best I have seen.

He says rather than curing or fixing, what we need is caring. We need space and time to be with the moment, to connect to our soul whether it is weeping or joyful. There can be a beauty in it, and I don’t mean shutting down any negative aspects to decide it’s all “for the best.” There is another way to be present and go deeper into dark waters so that you can truly pull the thread on your journey into the human experience.

How do you truly live if you do not wade deeper? Will life just be shallow? How do you find yourself if you cannot admit when you feel lost? To see the sky you need to close your eyes, feel it and then refocus.

I help people create the time for this sort of deep dive into their fears, while helping them to connect to their spirituality for peace. I rarely publish rates for these spiritual care sessions because I like to work out prices with people individually. We see if we can find a mutual fit, if not no worries.

If you need space to care for your fears, worries, and connect to something deeper, let me know. It’s not my goal to lead you to believe anything in particular, I’m spiritual not religious. My goal is to help you to connect to yourself and whatever is meaningful for you that will provide answers and a sense of grounding. Contact me to talk more about your journey and hear my recommendations.

ON KNOWING WHY YOU WANT SOMETHING AND TELLING PEOPLE

The best thing in life is to have a purpose. No one knows what you need to do better than yourself, because you are the one that gives it meaning and says why you do it.

You may not like everything you have to do, but it’s worth doing if it has a good reason.

But when you find something you like, that has a good reason, that is when the heavens light up and shine their light on you. It’s such a good feeling.

That feeling is something woven into my life now. I’ve been writing and editing some really big projects.

Sometimes my head is still on the pillow when I feel those butterflies that I am making something that excites me.
Sometimes I tell people in my Creative Progress Facebook group how the day is going, and sometimes I don’t tell anyone. But I always write it down for myself to celebrate what is going well. 🙂 You don’t need anyone to see what you see or to validate you. They don’t need to understand how exciting it is or why it is meaningful and great. It’s nice but it isn’t necessary. Try not to depend on it from everyone. It’s your victory.
Mentors and accountability groups may validate you but you usually have to seek them out specifically and see if they align with your priorities. Sometimes the best way someone can support you is with silence, a general thumbs up or not adding anything else to the mix for you because it’s all going really well. Let people know how to best support you if you can.

Or just enjoy it privately and don’t make a big thing telling everyone while you are in the middle of your process. 😉 If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Just keep going.

Not writing? Not making progress on your goals?

It’s a chaotic time worldwide. But…maybe you have some time or opportunity to pursue those writing and creative goals. Write a book. Grow an online business. Paint. Get better at guitar. Record a song. But you are not doing it and you wish you were.

1. Instead of beating yourself up about it or comparing yourself to your most productive days, let go. You are not in total control right now so if you feel like you’re slacking or blocked, well it is not your fault.

2. Let it go totally. Just for this moment or maybe even for a few days stop trying to make yourself do stuff. Give yourself permission to let go. I often find writing a to-do list for another day helps clear my nervous desire to do something. Just tell yourself it’s okay to stop trying to force it. Be wild and daring and go on vacay.

3. Now what? What do you actually feel like doing right this second? Do it. If you’re anxious try setting a half an hour timer and deciding that it is okay for you to have fun during this time.

4. Now that you have relaxed a little, ask yourself the following questions. You can journal it into a notebook. You can write it like a letter. You can sit outside and contemplate or take a brief walk. You can wonder in the shower or while cooking. Try to really approach them on many levels.

What is absolutely important and valuable and precious that you don’t want to live without? How you can create it with minimal resources?

Is writing or creating really something essential to you? If you could do something else, would you? Now that you’ve removed your goal from your life, can you be okay with that drifting away from you? Or does something make you want to add it back into your life? Is it essential? Why? Do you love it? Do you choose it??? Why?

As you seek these answers and feel into them, I think you will find clarity. Use that clarity and motivation as inspiration to guide you in these coming days. Bless you guys!

Want support? Make faster progress and join us in the free Creative Progress in Crazy Times facebook group. We are talking about the challenges and goals we have during this time. It’s a no judgement, pro creativity space.

My heart tells me: Be free. Express yourself. Be transparent. The emotions have been birds that never stay aground for long. I want to report, say words of nourishment or wisdom, let you know where I am–but I have been feeling lost in some ways. I often feel scattered.

I’ll be overwhelmed thinking of things to post because I could share a host of things. To do what needs doing every day feels like a monumental task. I do celebrate it but I’m coming to accept the biggest thing I am doing every day pulling off a centipede of judgement from my shoulder. It lives in that one spot that is hard to reach and I can’t see it to grab it. I don’t even consciously feel it. I just have to remember that it is there.

I know my flow and I know what is missing in it, the progression of actions I typically make when I feel good, that makes me feel even better through accomplishment. I can say: this isn’t it.

It’s not normal. (And my trauma whispers, “I’m not normal.”) But it isn’t about beating myself up or even saying “There, there, it will get better.” We don’t know that; I suspect as much, but what we know is uncertainty, What this moment for me is about is just accepting this is the way I am living now. Perhaps as we move to another apartment in the next week and settle in with better space for work and life, I will be more comfortable. But the broader situations will still be there.

The questions will still be there. When will I return to the states and what will I be returning to? The limitations of life during a pandemic as well as life in Japan will still be there. Is my job simply to enrich the container I am living in, the dance of being in relationship as I begin living together with my boyfriend in this waiting period before it feels right to come to America again? To survive as well as possible in this unique time? No, that’s not quite it.

The adventure I expected to be on this month has been curtailed or at least edited. It has a new focus. It’s not about seeing my grandma and family in Italy (they are ok), it’s not going to see friends in other places, it’s not seeing my friends and family in the states and setting up my new place there. More in comments31w

It’s also not about growing my business and career as a writer, coach, and editor. It’s not about anything I am really doing. So what is it about?

Today I wrote and wrote, and put my current revised adventure into one word: Transparency. And so I share with you where I am: emotionally I am not quite sure, but I am in Japan and it is as good or better than anywhere else I could be. I am home in my body and it is my job now just to listen and breathe. I will report what is there (if that’s what I feel I need to do–even if it doesn’t make total sense yet. But maybe I don’t need to be connected online sometimes, so I will listen to myself there.)

Every day I pull off that centipede of judgement, shame or fear. The subtle signs of stress from the present, the reminders of a traumatic past of endless battlegrounds. I let go of doing this the right way.

Let go. Time will show me what wants to be. I’m doing it all wrong, and I accept that with a smile. Free.

The best way to make faster progress is to become aware. Track everything especially if you need a boost.
If you feel icky like you need to get things done but you aren’t getting enough done, then include:

Getting up.
Getting out of bed (different!).
Making cups of tea and meals.
Taking showers.
Completing part of a book or TV show.
Watching YouTube videos.
Reading the news.

It’s a record of how you spend your time. Do not think, just list.

Then celebrate anything that could be valuable to your self care, creativity, wellbeing or productivity. If it helps none of those things…maybe stop doing as much of it. Put more emphasis on noticing what helpful stuff is getting done.

I like to keep a running list with two parts:

A. Done list

B. To Do list

Because when I do something, I often think of more I could do in the future. I add what is done and then add my new idea for the future to the to do list as I update.
I let things that should be done sooner hang out at the top of the to do list, and things for farther off hang out at the bottom.

Then I do something else. I go do what I want to do, trusting the rest will get done and I won’t forget because it is written down. Or I scan the to do list and pick something. You can also reorder the Todo list in order of importance which can be helpful.

After several days this to do list needs to be broken down into another form so you don’t get overloaded but if you need a quick boost this can get you into a flow with something to celebrate. I have other systems to keep track of to dos but sometimes this is really all I can handle. That’s the case when I get stressed or fall off the ball for a while and get need to get back on track.

The most important part is *drum roll* celebrating that you did anything at all.

You must celebrate!! I repeat, you must celebrate! The point is to provide evidence that you are doing SOMETHING. Then you can feel like you CAN do more, and then you will be kicking ass and taking names.
This system has gotten me through many a rough day. Hope it helps.

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In times of crisis choices are important. When you feel more empowered, you are less likely to feel the symptoms of trauma. When you feel powerless often you end up feeling worse about things and about yourself.

You didn’t choose the world situation but can you choose to breathe right now? Can you choose to do the things you “have” to do? Do you really have to do then exactly the way you have wanted to or is it okay to cut a few corners? If you have to do something really hard, can you do it for a broader purpose–the way you love yourself or others? Can you choose something that will expand you rather than make you feel trapped and forced against your will?

How can you embrace choices and your power?
For me lately I am letting go of perfectionism. I write a lot down to keep my mind clear and stay present. When I review my thoughts I can prioritize and choose to do some things now and other things a bit later. What works for you?

Update: after my post yesterday the place I have come to is that feel most comfortable staying put in Japan. My dad had the same gut feeling. Things are so crazy right now but Japan is calmer than the USA. Of course things change rapidly these days and I give myself permission to change my mind, too. The length of my stay as dependent on external events is a question mark. For now though, I will be here hunkering down with this guy Andrew and we will see what happens.

Last night he let me ride his bike as we were trekking home because my ankle hurt. He was running to keep up with me as I sang the theme song from Rocky. I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. My eyes were watering because of laughing, too. He took the handle bars to guide me around and then he was joking I was gonna hit someone 😂 and then I was paranoid and I just laughed more. Typical us. Xoxo