As a new feature on my blog I’ve decided to do a personal or creative post every new and full moon.
In general my blog is focused on book reviews. Occasionally I host a giveaway. In August I hosted my first author guest poster Russell Blake. September’s “Unusual Creatures” series is my first weekly run of guest posters, and I’m loving this so far. These series will be here to stay and so will the reviews.
I love reading, but–have you ever read so much that it doesn’t feel like fun anymore? Six library books due next week, so you just turn them all in unfinished?
I think this little Wren needs a break. So in honor of the new moon, I’m going to talk about the absence of things, things that have disappeared, or things I want to do so. Specifically this month I’m going to talk about moles. That’s right– mole removal.
Please note: the following dissent is not aimed at medical practitioners, but at the system they are required to work with in.
For the first time in my adult life, I went to the dermatologist this month. By a crazy movement of fate, it turns out I was referred to the same office I visited as an acne ridden teen.
I long ago had given up on the dermatologist, because taking the recommended courses of antibiotics seemed a very unhealthy long-term solution to me. Never was I offered a different face wash–I use jojoba oil exclusively now, believe it or not–or any other skin care advice beside oral and topical medications. Most of wish dried me into a raisin. I didn’t want any of that crazy Accutane, either, as you have to get regular blood tests.So I stopped going. Nothing seemed to work until I, of my own volition, decided to cut gluten and corn syrup in the last year. My skin is great now…but now I went to the derma for a different reason entirely. My family is very moley, so I had to go back to get checked out.
Honestly, the doctor’s terrifies me. I am recovering needle phobic. Getting acupuncture has helped, and I can withstand a blood drawing as long as I sing to myself, “Lalala, puppies, kitties, puppies.” I’m only part kidding. My biggest fear was that I’d lose my pretty collarbone mole.
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| Many moles I would’ve cried to lose. These got approved! |
I’ll admit it, I hate the doctors. I am a chakra loving, crystal carrying, herb studying, gluten-free eating massage therapist with a BA in Political Science from a women’s college. The accoutrements of Western medicine feel cold, uncaring, and joyless.
I don’t know why complementary medicine hasn’t had more of an effect. Why can’t sheets and walls be in color? I know from personal research that there are only two local options for medical grade linens: white and light beige. My office has red, grey, blue, green, coral, orange and yellow. We even put a different colored pillow case on top.
At my office when someone needs acupuncture needles in the back, they get a clean patterned blouse. At the dermatologist, they told me to take off all my clothes, and put on a crinkly paper dress slit up the back. OK what is the point exactly?
I’ve never been comfy with people seeing me naked. My family frequents nude beaches– in the US and Europe. I, however, don’t want people to see me, to scam on me, to judge me. At the same time, nudity is less humiliating at putting on a stupid paper dress.
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| Instead of a nude beach pic (you’re welcome)– preventative sunscreen! |
Reasons why a paper dress is more humiliating than nudity:
1. It’s unsustainable and I fear they just toss all the paper away. Mind, it’s a floorlength “gown.”
2. There is a slit all down the back. It’s not a functioning gown, it’s a costume in which to be observed. Like a dunce cap.
3. Once I put it on, I can’t sit in the regular chairs anymore. Now I have to submit to sitting on the generic leathery bench with more paper on it.
4. If someone runs into my room without knocking (which happened), its more embarrassing to catch me midchange with arms half in this madscientist labcoat paper thing. If I could stand proudly naked, it wouldn’t matter.
5. The doctor still looks me over everywhere, but now she or he can look under and around the paper and I never have to see their face. This is supposed to be comforting, but it makes me feel ashamed.
Why can’t I bring a comfy robe from home?? I’ll even put it on backwards. It’s on my question list.
Urg. So the results came back and I am advised to return to chop more moles off. The one from last week is still a reddened pock on my hairline. My skin scars so easily I fear the appearance of red circles all over my body.
But I’ll go, and participate once more in the ring of waiting, humiliation and guilt. I get a painkiller for something so minor while the same is refused to others. I get my mole numbed when my friend was denied painkillers for her abortion. My boyfriend couldn’t get painkillers for his herniated disc due to the neighborhood he lived in.
I think everyone deserves treatment. I think everyone deserves dignity. Rather than being required to upload a heartless protical to appear a legitimate medical practice– the white, the absence of color, art, creativity or personality–why can’t medical offices be a nice place to be?
Why can’t doctor have more out then a degree and a picture of kids? I do show them my private places, and yet I have no idea who they really are.
I will go back to the doctors, and I will keep going back because I am built to survive. I will go to the ones with the magic pen to take away my pain, my infection, my ability to conceive. But I won’t like it.
“Everyone hates going to the doctors.” Then why can’t anyone do anything about it?
Comments on this entry are closed.
Wren,
A very thoughtful post – something that I think we all think about when we’re there. I especially loved this line: The accoutrements of Western medicine feel cold, uncaring, and joyless.
Sadly so true. I don’t understand it. Well, maybe I do – part of it anyway. Western medicine generally isn’t run like a business where the customer’s comfort and needs are often taken into account. If I were a doctor in private practice, I would design a completely different program.
Great post!
Thanks for your reply Misty. You make a really good point about how “the customer is always right” attitude doesn’t go for the doctor’s office. If a doctor was to change things around, I think it’d be very successful.
Something I always think of is my doctor’s office which doesn’t even allow you to leave a message during lunch hour. Patients just have to call back multiple times.
Today I mentioned this rant to someone and she recommended going to a midwife for GYN checkups — they can do all the same things but in a very different environment.
great post,but it sure opened up a can of worms for me, because as degrading and unpleasant of an experience it was for you, at least you were able to have the experience. I agree that MD’s offices are not very customer friendly…I had a demeaning experience myself recently, but due to the dismal state of health care in the US, just being able to go is a perk. High cost, low outcome and many people stuck between poverty/subsidized care and wealth/Cadillac care with no health care at all. The affordable care act is just a foot in the door, but it’s a door to hope. Now what can you and I do next time we go to the MD to be proactive and give ourselves a better experience, that’s up to us ( even though I don’t have a plan yet). Blissings & I hope you get to keep the moles you love, amberspiral
Amber I agree, it’s definitely a privilege to go to the doctors. When a friend had to choose between $1,000 in debt for a hand xray or possible lifelong consequences…she was in so much pain I thought it was worth it to doublecheck, but then it wasn’t broken after all. She doesn’t have insurance so that’s on her plate now.
There is definitely something wrong with the whole system. I don’t think that public healthcare needs to replace private care. I’m not scared America will turn socialist but we could incorporate some elements of other systems. I wish there was a sort of “corps” of selected people who would go through the medical education for a reduced cost in exchange for a number of years of public service. Sort of like Peacecorps or Americorps. It’s a very long term commitment so it makes it hard. If doctors didn’t have so many expenses to cover between school, starting a practice, insurance shenanigans…then maybe people wouldn’t need to pay so much for fifteen minutes of time.
I can’t say I know the solution, but things definitely gotta change.
And yes the collarbone moles are here to stay! Thank you amberspiral.