HOW VULNERABLE IT IS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.
You want it, but it is hard to ask for. Going for it makes you feel wobbly.
And yet it is the best. It is so worth it.
This is what it takes to create, to write, to make something huge in your life.
When I was younger I told myself I wasn’t creative. I didn’t know what made me special.
In fact, I had a sense that if people knew everything going inside me–all the fears, all the feelings, and all the thoughts–that they would see that I am not good enough.
Creativity was hard because it seemed easy to get wrong, whereas school had clear answers I could memorize and get right.
I wanted to be seen but I was terrified. I loved singing, writing, dancing, making magic—but to protect myself, for a long time I convinced myself that none of those things were really “me.”
I just didn’t want to look bad because then someone would stop being my friend, I would be fired and fail, or everyone would think I was weak, overly sensitive, mean, or a loser.
Basically, I would be shunned–and I’d experienced what that was like from a few bullies already.
I didn’t really accept myself and by the time I was out of college, I started to be more aware of this. I got therapy and worked on myself, but it felt like people kept dumping on me.
Then I would feel awful and blamed myself. I could not figure life out.
But luckily, my path led me to begin writing every day. Writing started showing me the feelings and thoughts I was avoiding.
And that included dreams I wasn’t listening to, and the wise part of me that knows what to do: my True Voice.
I went from not being creative, to realizing I am passionate about a number of creative modes.
Going from A to Z started as being vulnerable—one step at a time, one moment at a time, one interaction at a time.
It’s vulnerable to try. It’s vulnerable to even want to try. But it’s the best thing you’ll do in your life.
Don’t let your environment teach you what is possible. Keep trying something new.
Give yourself freedom to be WEIRD and MESSY–and just try.
Are you strong enough to be vulnerable?
