Helping yourself can be ego based (or not). But truly focusing on your needs and boundaries is actually often a selfless thing to do, counter to what you may have learned. You have to do this to write or create.
Having needs and boundaries is an essential part of being a human being.
We are all human, if you think that you are above having needs or boundaries then that is ego. As a human being you have been gifted with life, and it is your job to cultivate the flame you have been given.
Calling the pursuit of a need or placing of a healthy boundary “selfish” is a barrier to protecting your energy. You need to cultivate this energy to make faster progress as a writer, creator or overall human being.
And the best part about it is that it is not even about you.
This took me a long time to understand because I used to worry about causing problems and being selfish when I had to talk to someone about my needs or boundaries. Saying no was a problem.
I’ve gotten a lot better at this with age because I have seen how it harms me, and then other people, when I don’t honor my needs. And I can’t do my mission without it. Embracing this isn’t even about me, I realized. I’m actually doing Spirit a disservice if I don’t do this work because then I end up not functioning as well and not doing what I feel I am supposed to be doing to make Spirit happy.
Not taking care of yourself, not setting boundaries or pursuing your needs is actually a very ego-driven thing to do.
You may think it is selfless to sacrifice or overly accommodate other people. I disagree. I actually think that Spirit wants everyone to honor the natural impulses, needs, and boundaries that we have. This is an organic process. To train yourself that you don’t need things so that other people can have more, is actually selfish. This is you proving that your ego and your control can be used to increase your worth through self sacrifice.
It actually is setting you as different from other people. It is the ego that feels different, including feeling less then. Your spirit knows that you aren’t actually different and you have to admit you have needs like everyone else. You have feelings like everyone else. And you need to have boundaries like everyone else.
I recognize this can be obnoxious and all things must be balanced. My needs do not override another person’s needs. I do not need something from a particular person. I do not need others to change. We can always move on and enter different connections with other people. I do not need a particular person to supply a thing, although I need people and I need things.
Want to make faster progress?
Get your writing done? Your creating? Or another project that you are resisting?
Contact me or ask about a free conversation to explore how I can help you make consistent progress on your projects, or how you can meet an upcoming deadline.
Blessings!
Sofia Wren
