Making Progress: What do you want?

by SofiaWren on December 6, 2017

If you want to make faster progress then you need a goal– but don’t just pick any goal–PICK SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY WANT!!!

Who tells you what it is ok or realistic to want?


Your parents?

Your sister or brothers?

Your uncle?

Your neighbor?

Your spiritual community?

Your business community?

Your school?

Your friends?

Your God, goddess, angels, guides?

The quiet voice that speaks in your private time?

Who is it that directs the force of your life?

Today I want to talk to you about something really important that I work with clients on all the time. With the New Year coming up, we are already reminded of the passing of time. Maybe you’re already thinking, “Where did a year go?”

We are all assessing our goals for 2017 and whether we got there and looking at our goals for 2018. But you know what I think first before I even talk about goals at all? We need to look at what we want.

We need to go a little bit deeper than just asking, “What is my goal?” Deeper than people usually go. And I’ve learned this the hard way because when I was growing up the goals I set were for other people – not me.

(This is the problem, because when I was growing up, doing what I could to achieve goals and be successful and get things done-get As, get into college, get a boyfriend, whatever, whatever, whatever–I never stopped to really think about what I was doing.)

Most people aren’t even aware of what they want.

I used to always operate on autopilot, pursuing goals that were important to everyone around me, that I thought they would approve of. These are things that I thought would make me “successful.” In fact I had no separation between myself and those other people and their opinions. I never asked myself, “What is success? How do I define it personally? And does ‘success’ by anyone else’s definition really matter to me?”

I want to want to ask you, “Do have separation between your thoughts and other people’s thoughts of you?” Still to this day I can inflate or deflate depending on who I am talking to and what they have going on in their mind about me.

But here’s the thing: I consciously know when this happens to me now, and I have practices to help me tell the difference between me and them. I’ll be talking about this more in an upcoming email.

But today I want to give you the verbal equivalent of a shake– HELLO!!!!!


Yesterday I was literally talking to someone and asked him, “What do you want? I hear you talking about being pulled in a million directions from all these other people tugging at you? What about you–what do you want?”

And do you know what he said? They said, “Wow, I really don’t sit around all day and wonder what I want. I just sit around thinking about how to make other people happy.”

I said, “Well, have you tried writing about it?” (Because I know this person has found journaling and writing down stuff helpful in the past.)

“Yeah I think if I wrote about it, I’d probably have about one sentence.”

“Well that’s ok. Today you have one sentence. Maybe tomorrow you have another sentence. You don’t just figure out what you want. You keep inquiring. You keep looking. You find out. You know what is there today, and maybe it’s not a whole lot, but tomorrow there might be more.”

Clearly not enough people are asking this question: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I mean it. For YOU.

As a spiritual person there are so many things that I “download” and that I consider to be like a personal mission, so today I feel called to ask you to BE SELFISH. BE SELF CENTERED.

I’m serious– will you think about what you want please????

As a coach, this is part of my job: to help you figure out what you want and listen to yourself because really only your opinion about your life, your work, your creativity, your relationships, your spiritual path, etc. only your opinion matters and the rest of them can stuff it because this is your life, and only you can live it.

Open your heart. Love. Live. Ask what you want.

Look for my next post in a couple days, where I’ll say more about ways to know what you want and go get it.


Sofia Wren

PS Please think about what you want and maybe journal on it, or doodle or mindmap or make a painting or a song, etc. !! It will help you greatly, I swear. xo

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by Sofia Wren

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